I have a 3-year-old daughter, and one of the frequently asked questions that we get is this, "Kelan siya mag-school?"
If like me you've been asked this question hundreds of times, you are not alone. Even mom of four Iya Villania gets this from her very own mother.
In an interview with Bernadette Sembrano on her vlog B Channel, Iya shared why she and her husband Drew Arellano haven't enrolled their firstborn son Primo when he's clearly past school age.
Why Drew and Iya haven't enrolled Primo
"Drew and I are pretty lenient with schooling. Hindi pa nga namin na-enroll si Primo. I think for us, what's more important are the values, and I feel the values [are] what's taught and what they really pick up more at home," she explained.
"Like when it comes to school, as much as possible, I don't want to force them to do things unless it's something they have to do like take a shower, or brush their teeth."
Iya said they are not really against traditional schooling, as both of them graduated from college, and they also have high respect for those who earned their degrees.
"We both feel that there are a lot of things that we learned in school that we actually never really needed or even applied. So what's important for Drew and I is that, they just learn what they need, which I feel we can do pa at home," she said.
But does Primo want to go to school?
Iya shared a conversation she had with Primo, whose friends are already enrolled in school. "I asked him, "Love, do you want to go to school?" Primo said, "Yeah, but not every day." She then asked, "Why Love?" And Primo replied, "Because I'm gonna miss my family."
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWIya stressed, "If he wants to go to school, we will enroll him. What's important is, he wants to learn, he wants to do it not because were telling him that he has to."
"I want them to be there because they enjoy learning, they look forward to [it], and we have the internet now, there's so much they can learn now, at their own pace, on their own."
Iya added, "And when they learn according to their pace and their interest, it's so much faster!"
Parents can relate when Iya admits to forcing Primo to learn how to read because she felt pressured. "But he wasn't interested. So hinayaan ko nalang, eventually, biglang nagulat nalang ako, he can read na pala!"
READ ALSO: This La Union Couple Is Raising Smarter Kids Through 'Unschooling'
Parenting in her own terms
Iya was born and raised in Australia, and moved to the Philippines when she was 16. She admits, she employs a different parenting style than how she was raised by her mom. "Minsan nga tinitingnan nalang ako ni mommy. Mom doesn't agree with some of the things that I do."
She said she doesn't want to be so protective over her children, "In a sense, I also learned from mommy, because there are things that were the ways she raised me, are ways na parang, maybe I won't do that to my kids because I see what the effect was on me, so I'll try something else."
Her mom is also one to applaud her for being hands-on.
CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch now"I would rather kasi that they discover what they want as soon as they can, and if I can just be there to support them, rather than spending time learning things in school that they wouldn't really be able to apply in life, I would rather they use that time learning something they are actually interested in."
Iya said, "More than anything, I just want them to be loving, respectful, and kind people. More than the grades, that's what's more important for me."
READ ALSO: Why Rica Peralejo Decided To Homeschool Her Kids Even If She Was Scared
On being an intentional parent
Iya shared that what pushed her to think this way is when she realized her role as her children's first teacher.
"I also feel that my parenting is more intentional because I realized how much they are actually learning from me - me being their primary source of info and knowledge."
Being an intentional parent doesn't have to be complicated, said Iya. If there are little teaching moments in your day where your kids can learn something from you, take it. "On my end, I feel [being intentional] helps me also to become a better mom, I think."
She added, "Balitaan kita mga 20 years from now!"
From where we stand, we believe you are raising your kids the best way you can, Iya! And we respect and admire you for it.
Check out this open library in Manila where your kids will cultivate their love for reading:
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