Do twins have to do everything together? For Pepe and Pilar Roxas, fraternal twins of Korina Sanchez and former senator Mar Roxas, the case isn’t so.
Over the weekend, Korina posted on Instagram an experience she shared with her son and an agreement the three made. “The twins and I agree on their decision that if it is Pepe’s party, Pilar doesn’t have to go. And it if it is Pilar’s party, Pepe also doesn’t want to go.
She adds, “So ayan nagdesisyon ang matatanda. Iba ang lakad ni Pilar. And Pepe was shining!”
Pepe attended a classmate’s birthday party where Korina had the opportunity to meet her son’s classmates.
What a refreshing take on raising twins, multiples, or even siblings! Parents often lump kids together as much as possible, whether in activities, social events, or clothing, that we easily forget that each child is a unique individual. We are surprised when our children who come from the same family can be so different but when we, parents, are different from our own siblings, we assume it is accepted.
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWEach child is unique
“Although each twin finds comfort in the other and may have a lot in common, parents should understand that each child is an individual,” reminds a blog post of Bright Horizons, a global childcare center brand that has locations in 40 states in America, UK, Netherlands, and Puerto Rico to name a few.
It adds, “Twins are two separate beings and should be viewed as such from day one. Although their emotional bond to each other is to be treasured, each child is a unique being with a natural drive to fulfill individual potentials.
The same reminders can be applied to siblings, especially siblings who are close in ages, have a number of physical similarities, or share the same gender.
Celebrating your child’s individuality
Bright Horizons provides a number of useful tips in parenting twins and may be used by families with multiple children.
1. Treat each twin or child as a unique individual.
The tendency to think of twins as a single unit is strong. But respecting each child’s individual interests starts with the parent. “Respect individual differences. Form separate expectations around each child's abilities and interests.
Here’s a tip: Use their names instead of referring to them as “the twins”.
2. Plan to spend quality time with each child separately.
Twin or not, every family will benefit from parents spending quality time with each child separately. Take time to go on a date with your child and enjoy an age-appropriate activity with them. It doesn’t have to be grand or expensive, a few hours alone together with one parent can be productive especially if it’s an activity they can look forward to periodically.
CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch nowBright Horizons adds, “Twins have a tendency, especially in the early years, to be very dependent upon each other. Time apart helps develop separate identities and also gives children important one-on-one time with an adult.
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3. Rather than focusing on being fair, focus on respect.
“Because every child has different needs, being respectful is more important than being fair when raising twins, advises the blog. It goes on to remind parents that rather than being focused on spending the same amount on kids’ gifts, ensure that the other child receives what would be equivalent to her.
“Respecting the similarities and differences of each child fosters a real and healthy sense of self.
4. Be cautious of comparison.
Comparison in children, whether in twins, siblings, or among classmates, hardly produces positive effect. It may impact how a child understands herself and her sense of self, especially when received at a young age.
The blog provides this reminder that every parent would do well to remember: “Development is a journey, not a race.”Read this article to know more about the effects of comparing kids.
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