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Kapuso star Kylie Padilla is about to wrap up yet another teleserye with Bolera airing its finale on GMA Network this week. The actress seems to be at the peak of her career, but she also went through her fair share of struggles as a single mother since her split with her estranged husband Aljur Abrenica.
She opened up about the guilt she felt when she started working again. “Nung una, feeling ko talaga hindi ko kaya. Feeling ko nagi-guilty ako. Parang, ‘bakit mas pinipiling magtrabaho kesa mag-alaga ng anak?’”
Since their separation, Kylie took it upon herself to provide for her children, booking projects like BetCin, Bolera, and her upcoming film with Gerald Anderson, Unravel. “As a single working mom, nakikita ko kapag nandiyan na yung reward. Syempre, mas nabibigyan ko sila ng magandang buhay if I work. May sacrifice talaga.”
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Despite the difficulties, however, the actress still feels lucky that she’s able to provide for her kids.
RELATED: Kylie Padilla: 'Kahit Nanay Ka Na, You Have to Take Care of Yourself'
“I know better now before ako nag-start. I know why I’m doing it kasi ngayon, nangangarap na rin akong bumili ng bahay para sa kanila. I see the bigger picture now,” she reveals. “So, yun siguro ang natutunan ko. As a working mom, it’s really a blessing to be able to work kasi not every mom can do that.”
Well said, Kylie!
How solo parents can deal with guilt
1. Forgive yourself.
Sheryl G. Ziegler, PsyD and author of Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the process writes in Harvard Business Review that “Letting go of guilt has to start with a commitment to stop beating yourself up over your choices and circumstances.
“Remember the reason behind your choices, says Ziegler. Just like Kylie pointed out her gains of a comfortable life. She says instead of saying “I feel bad about blank”, replace it with “I made that decision because blank” and then move forward.
2. Change your goal from a good parent to being “good enough” at home.
“Good enough” parenting has decades of research. It looks like a parent who is cares for and connects with their child “without sacrificing their personal needs and health, says Ziegler.
Forget being the perfect mom or parent. “Rather than putting additional pressure on yourself, remember the basics. Realize the connection you can still have with your children by simply being ‘good enough’.”
RELATED: Why Being The Best Can Be Harmful: Expert Explains Intensive Versus 'Good Enough' Parenting
Ziegler adds one last note about guilt: it is tied to empathy. Having guilt means having compassion, caring, and being concerned. “Getting rid of your guilt does not mean that you are not a loving or kind mother. It means that the empathy behind the guilt will be realized.
She adds, don’t allow it keep you stuck. “The power of compassion can motivate you to connect with your work as well as find the joy in being a mom.”
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This story originally appeared on Cosmo.ph. Minor edits have been made by the SmartParenting.com.ph editors.