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  • I Asked For Help Taking Care Of The Kids. I Came Out A Less Angry, Happier Mom

    One mom shares her realizations after she let go of mom guilt and asked other people for help.
    by Kitty Elicay .
  • Welcome to Real Parenting, a space where parents can share the joys, pain, and the mess of parenthood. Want to get something off your chest? Share your parenting journey? Email us at smartparenting2013@gmail.com with the subject "Real Parenting." Click here to read more 'Real Parenting' stories.
    PHOTO BY courtesy of Cristine Campos

    It’s not uncommon for moms to be overwhelmed with responsibilities — from raising the kids, running the household, to having a career — but many of them would rather stay silent for fear of judgment. They are burdened with mom guilt and think that they need to make the sacrifice in order to be a good mom.

    On our Facebook community, Smart Parenting Village, one mom shared her realizations after finally giving in and asking her mother for help taking care of her 4-year-old son. Spoiler alert: nothing happened to her baby, and she came out happier and energized after the one-day break.

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    The mom is Cristine Campos, a 34-year-old mom of one who works at home as an online business manager. She also heads a community of aspiring freelancers on top of being a hands-on mom to her son, Brandon. She gave SmartParenting.com.ph to post her essay in full, hoping that it will make fellow moms realize that it’s perfectly okay to ask for help, especially if they are on the brink of losing their sanity.

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    Read Cristine’s essay below:

    I just picked up my son from my mom’s house for a sleepover.

    Yes, you heard it right. I let my 4-year-old son sleep at my mom’s house for a night.

    It was his first time to sleep at another person’s house. It was also my first time to be away from him. It was also my first time in four years and 100 plus quarantine days to be alone at home.

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    Did I feel guilty letting him sleepover at my mom’s house? A little.

    But my goodness, it felt sooo good spending time with myself, too — alone! (Husband wasn’t at home so I took the chance to leave our little boy at mom’s house.)

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    I cooked. I savored every meal I was eating (no need to rush — moms would know this!). I took a good, long, soapy, and squeaky clean bath (moms would know this, too). I read a book, I finished my work backlogs, and even held a live webinar to inspire more people to work from home.

    I cleaned the house and it stayed clean for one whole day! I watched two funny movies while eating chips and drinking Coke!

    Did I feel guilty letting my boy sleep over at my mom’s house? A little.

    Every hour I would check my phone to ask my sister how he’s doing. I would remind them to feed him, bathe him, ask him to pee, play with him, not give him chips, and put him to bed.

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    But you know the best thing I realized about this whole experience?

    I realized it’s ok to ask help from other people (from your spouse, partner, family, friends or godparents). They will always have the best interest in taking care of your child.

    If they give your child chips, chocolates, a sip of soda or allowed your kids to watch TV —it’s ok. They may not take care of your kids like how you take care of them and you might not share the same views or standards when it comes to taking care of children. But it’s ok. They will always have your child's best interests at heart.

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    You know the best best part of this sleepover?

    My child gained confidence in other people. He gained trust. He gained a little independence. He hugged me so tight as soon as he saw me and said that it was his best weekend ever. And he wants to do it again next week.

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    As for me, I came out happy and my spirit is rejuvenated. I have more energy to take care of him next week.

    Lastly, we both missed each other a lot. Even if it was just one night away from each other.

    If I had known before that it’s ok to ask people for help to save my sanity, maybe I wouldn’t have had postpartum depression (PPD). I would have been a happier mom and not a very cranky mom. I would have been a less angry mom.

    My key takeaway is this: It’s ok to ask people for help. Especially if you’re on the brink of losing it. If you need an hour, a day or a week for some sanity break, ask for help. Cut the mom guilt and ask for help!

    Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. Click here for ideas on self-care!

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