If you've come across Clare Dacanay's photos on social media, she made history as the first official applicant of the Miss Universe Philippines 2023 who is a mother.
In an exclusive interview with Smart Parenting, Clariele Magallanes Dacanay, 24, from Paranaque City, shared how she is juggling her roles as a mother of a toddler, as an interior design student, and as an aspiring beauty queen.
Clare revealed she wanted to join Miss Universe when she was younger. However, coming from a big family with four siblings, she had to put this dream aside and make it happen when she's already financially capable.
She said it was destiny that made her join the competition; she was not physically and mentally ready when she heard Miss Universe now allows mothers to join the competition.
"When I joined, my main purpose was I wanted to teach my daughter that you don't just stop when you become a mom. I wanted to teach her you can be whoever you want to be, or you can achieve anything you want if you put your heart, mind, and soul into it."
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWShe admits she didn't have any training and experience in pageantry, "It was just pure confidence and determination that I just had to do it."
READ ALSO: How This Mom Of Two Became The First-Ever Summa Cum Laude Of UP Clark
Advocating for maternal mental health
Clare said her motherhood journey so far is transformative, "It's not just my daughter who's growing up, it's also a learning process for me. Every day I spend with her, she changes me. I cherish every moment with her. I really just want to watch her form into who she wants to be, and I'll always just be here for her."
"There will always be people who want to help you but you have to show them that you need help. You have to meet them halfway for them to help you."
Clare opened up to Smart Parenting that before becoming a mom, she was diagnosed with a depressive disorder. So when she got pregnant for the first time, she focused on her mental health.
"I was just in my own little bubble, I thought I had my own world and I didn't need anyone else. If you could imagine a mother going through that, how can she help her kid figure out the world?"
CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch nowWhen she became a first-time mom, she said she had to find her source of joy and strength. Her mother was recently diagnosed with dementia, and her sister then also had just given birth.
She added, "If it's the mother who nurtures the child, who nurtures the mother? It doesn't make you look weak to show your weakness. It makes you look stronger because you are learning to accept that not everything is okay."
"There will always be people who want to help you but you have to show them that you need help. You have to meet them halfway for them to help you," she said.
One of her long-term goals for her advocacy is to campaign for affordable mental health screening for moms, "I noticed they just tend to hide their feelings under the rug, and they just let it. It actually affects the health of your kids in the long run."
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWREAD ALSO: Their Mom Has Dementia, And They Will Never Forget Her Advice: 'Don't Make Your Child Owe You'
On balancing motherhood and pageantry
Already netizens are asking what would happen to her daughter because being a beauty queen would be very hectic. "Just because I joined a pageant doesn't mean she becomes a second priority," Clare stressed.
"If you have that energy and potential to raise such an amazing child, you have the potential, confidence, and everything to do anything."
She said she always does her best to keep herself updated about her daughter, "I like to see her before I go to anything pageant-related because she gives me so much strength."
"Every free time I have is just for her - my rest time, my siesta time, or my morning meditation time, I don't have those anymore because I'd rather just be with her and my partner," she affirmed.
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Clare with her daughter Thalisse Celeste and partner Jaime Ramon MagsaysayPHOTO BY COURTESY OF CLARE DACANAYADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWShe is taking up interior design in PSID, and one of her classmates Stephanie Balag attested to how dedicated Clare is to her studies. "Never pa siya umabsent sa classes. Very inspiring talaga how she found the time to join a pageant, at hindi lang basta-bastang pageant ito. Super model x super mom," she said.
Joining the top 40
As one of the official candidates of Miss Universe Philippines 2023, she said she is focused on winning the pageant, "I'm so excited to represent as a mother, as a woman."
To all mothers who feel like being a parent put a pause on their dreams, Clare has this to say: "The word "mother" doesn't define who you are. At the end of the day, you are not only a mom, but you are also a woman, and you are also an individual of your own. You just have to step out of that cave and go for it. Don't let other people hold you back.
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWIf you have that energy and potential to raise such an amazing child, you have the potential, confidence, and everything to do anything," she added.
The essence of being a mother
Smart Parenting didn't pass up the chance to ask her the famous question: what is the essence of being a mother?
"Being a mother for me is you just have to love everything you do. All the good, the bad, all the amazing, all the tiring, you just have to love it, because at the end of the day, when you look at your family and yourself, you'll look back and you'll still love everything you've done. Even if it wasn't picture-perfect, the essence of being a mother is just love."
We are rooting for you, Clare!
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