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It Feels Like Everyone Can Raise My Son Better Than Me, His Mom
PHOTO BY courtesy of Deanne Banares-Dimacali
  • Motherhood can be a lonely job. What helps is having a community who cheers her on and listens to her without judgment. And that's what our "Real Parenting" section is for: a space where moms can share the joys, pain, and the mess that is parenthood.

    Motherhood toughens you up. From day one, your every move is watched — and criticized. It's only been a year and a half into the game, but I've already received a lot of flack for the decisions I (and my husband) have made:

    Why do you make him sleep in his own room?

    Why do you ignore his cries?

    Why doesn't he have enough toys?

    Why are you so strict with his schedule?

    Why did you decrease his milk at such an early age?

    Why don't you let us give him food?

    Why don't you let him use the iPad even just for a bit?


    It's easy to tell us not to mind what people say. But mustn't they also learn how to respect our decisions and choices? Especially when it reaps only positive things?

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    The questions never stop. I'm labeled as cruel and strict, and I don't understand. People complain about how my generation sorely lacks discipline. But it is wrong when we instill it. They say we grew up receiving too much. Yet we are selfish when we teach our toddlers moderation. They wonder why parents are so tired and miserable, but when we take care of ourselves, we are ignoring our parental duties.

    I understand constructive criticism but not illogical ones. And I don't need to answer these questions. All they have to do is just look at my son, Noah, and they will see why.

    My son is this happy, independent and outgoing all the time because of the decisions my husband and I have made as parents. We have taken on the tough part of parenting so everyone can enjoy our son — and so that Noah can shine.

    Parenting is hard. So when you see a child thriving, enjoy it. And a little 'thank you' to the parents would be wonderful, too.

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    Deanne Bañares-Dimacali is a young housewife, mother to a spirited boy, and a dedicated writer. Hoping to create a more thoughtful and storied life, she pens her day-to-day musings on marriage, motherhood, and womanhood on her blog Classy Musings.

    Want to get something off your chest? Or share a slice of your parenting journey with fellow moms? Send it to our Facebook Messenger or email at smartparenting2013@gmail.com with the subject "Real Parenting." Join us at the Smart Parenting Village here.

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