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Sana Bumukod Nalang Kami, Walang Nakialam Sa Parenting Ko–Here Are Parents' Top Regrets
PHOTO BY PEXELS
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    If there’s one thing all parents feel every once in a while, it is regret.

    “I should have been more patient with my child.”

    “I never should have shouted at him.”

    “I wish I can spend more time with them.”

    “I wish I never did this so he would never turn out like that.”

    It’s usually the smallest things about parenting, but also those that matters the most. We never feel that we are 100% perfect parents and sometimes regret some things we did (and do) from time to time.

    We asked parents on Smart Parenting’s Facebook page about their biggest regrets, and here’s what they say:

    Filipino parents' biggest regrets

    1. Having a kid at an older age.

    Bebe Ramallosa shared, “Having a kid when I’m 35yrs old. I don’t have the energy to care for toddlers now that I’m in my 40s.”

    2. Not giving the child lots of food choices.

    A child’s eating habit is quite tricky to to begin with, and maybe all parents have one to few regrets about how their child eats.

    Jen Tordesillas shared that she should have offered more varieties to her child, and thought that maybe it would prevent him from being a picky-eater, “Sana pinakain ko ng pinakain ng kung anu-anong gulay, isda, karne.”

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    'Nakapag-ipon pa at nagbukod earlier. Wala sana nag-intervene sa parenting style ko.' –Angel Hop, on her regret of not living on their own sooner

    She further added that she regrets listening to others’ opinion, “Hindi sana ako naniwala sa bawal 'to, bawal 'yan. Baka maging ganito, baka maging ganyan. Lumaki tuloy siyang pihikan.”

    RELATED: 6 Simple Ways to Change Your Child's Picky Eating Habits, According to a Pediatrician

    3. Not homeschooling sooner.

    Before the pandemic, the idea of homeschooling was not as popular as it is now, and one parent realized its benefits. JR Rosales-Caparas shared in the comment section, “I should have started homeschooling them when they were younger.

    RELATED: The Shift To Homeschool: 'Mahabang Pag-iisip, Muni-Muni At Maraming Dasal'

    4. Hindi bumukod.

    This topics is often discussed in Smart Parenting Village. Many young couples often seek advise about pagbubukod. Is it better to stay with parents or in-laws to save money, or is it wise to live on their own while spending money on rent or mortgage?

    Here’s what Angel Hop regrets about it, “Nakapag-ipon pa at nagbukod earlier. Wala sana nag-intervene sa parenting style ko.”

    'Yung kailangan ko silang iwan para lang maibigay ko ang mga pangangailangan nila.' -Aveliana Francisco, OFW parent

    She shared that more than the issue of money and independence, their parenting style has been affected by living with other members of the family.

    RELATED: Dapat Na Nga Ba Kayong Bumukod Mag-asawa?

    5. Not listening to her “mother’s instinct”.

    They say mothers have a natural ability to know and feel that there is something happening with their child, and moths can always prove that it's true.

    Nanette Unico shared how she doubted her own “mother’s instinct”, “My son showed red flags of autism in earlier years of his life. As a nurse, I knew it and I can recognize it easily. As a mom, my instincts told me that I have to seek professional help. As a human being, I’ve been in denial and I chose to believe others na nagsasabing, ‘Lalaki lang kasi kaya baka delayed lang, hintayin mo.’

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    RELATED: 'Our Daughter Did Not Say Her First Word Until She Was 5 Years Old Because of Our Mistake'

    "Kakahintay ko, 4yrs old na, wala pa din. Saka ko tinanggap na may mali. I accepted the diagnosis wholeheartedly with joy and thanksgiving to the Lord. But I was so angry at myself and I loathed myself so much fo a period of time.’

    6. Not spending enough time with the kids.

    As parents, we want the best for our children. A good education, a comfortable living situation, a little luxury every now and then. And sometimes, the price we need to pay for these is the time spent with our children.

    Some parents don’t have a choice but to work abroad and physically leave their child in order to provide for them. OFW parents share what they felt:

    “Yung kailangan ko silang iwan para lang maibigay ko ang mga pangangailangan nila. Hindi ko sila mabantayan dahil malayo ako sa kanila, hindi ko sila makatabi sa pagtulog dahil milya milya ang layo ko sa kanila. Tiis lang talaga, para naman sa kanila,” Aveliena Francisco shared in the comment section.

    Another mom shared a regret she had all this time, “For leaving my eldest for us to have a brighter future abroad. There is a silent gap between us. Hindi kami close unlike ng two other kids ko.”

    Maki Ziegler-Cheng said that being away from her eldest child eventually took a toll on their relationship.

    RELATED: How to Make Parenting as an OFW Work: Experts Say Heed These Tips

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    And lastly, with a few heartbreaking regrets and realizations:

    7. Not being a better father to his child.

    “I could’ve chosen a better father for my child,” Connie shared. There’s a saying that children can’t choose their father, but women can choose their husbands. Perhaps that's what the saying means: your choice of spouse will be the other parent your child can't choose, so choose well.

    Same realizations were shared in the comment section of the said post, each parent relating to one another’s regret.

    RELATED: This Dad Explains How Being A Great Father Starts By Being A Better Husband

    Parents must learn to accept the regrets, because by knowing and accepting our ‘mistakes’, we can strive to be better. Regret is the first step to working hard to become a better parent, avoiding the same mistake, and continuing to raise healthier families.

    If you have a regret today, remember it’s okay to admit it. You can always try to be a better parent starting right now.

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