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Moms Share What It's Like Being Told 'Nag-Iinarte Ka Lang'It's one of the worst things you can say to a woman who is pregnant or just gave birth.
Last May, we published an article on the offhanded, often hurtful, comments and remarks moms hear from the people around them -- partners, relatives, friends and even strangers. One of the comments that got a lot of reaction from Smart Parenting moms was the phrase, “Nag-iinarte ka lang.” It came from one of our pregnant readers. She said it was her husband's reply when she asked if he would take a leave from work after suspecting she might go into labor.
Soon after we shared the story on our Facebook page, many moms started sharing their stories and experiences of the times they were told “nag-iinarte ka lang” or “nagda-drama ka lang.” Taken from the comments section of the post, here are some of them (condensed and edited for clarity):
To the mom with postpartum depression
I remember my husband told me na “nagda-drama” daw ako after I gave birth. I was crying and depressed everyday kaya madalas siyang pagmulan ng away namin. Little did he know about postpartum depression.
--Andrea Raquiz Delacruz
I've been divorced since 1997. To this day, I still resent towards the ignorant fool. He'd often ask me what I had to be depressed about! Really?!?
To the mom who was cheated on
Mahirap magbuntis. Mahirap din manganak. At mas mahirap pa mag alaga ng sarili at bata lalo na 'pag bagong panganak. Tapos, maririnig mo lang puro negative. Instead na tulungan ka ng asawa mo, dinadagdagan pa tuloy ng problema. Iba nambababae kasi reason nila nagtataray ang asawa. Ang iba ang reason kasi wala ng time si misis.
Para sa mga ganitong asawa, ang babae po madaming pinagdadaanan after manganak. Lahat ng insecurities nandyan na. Imbes na mambabae, tulungan niyo na lang asawa niyo.
--Analyn AlejandreADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
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To the mom who was hurt by insensitive comments
There are really men like that, insensitive and inconsiderate.
--Mhae Virata Geluz
I want to experience being pregnant and being taken care of. Yung puwede mo i-enjoy yung roller coaster of emotions at hirap kasi suportado ka at may nakakaintindi sa'yo. Yung di ka sasabihang “kaartehan lang 'yan.”
To the mom who feels alone
Hindi ma-gets ng mga lalake ang ganitong feeling ng babae. Masakit masabihan na nag-iinarte. Iba lang talaga pakiramdam ng buntis at hindi nila maintindihan 'yun. Iiyak ka ng maraming beses na nag-iisa dahil pakiramdam mo nag-iisa ka lang.
Hindi lang din ito nangyayari sa mga mag-asawa lang. Madalas mo din 'to maririnig sa ibang tao. Sa mga ka-opisina mo at sa mga taong nakapaligid. Gusto ko lang iparating na hindi pare-parehas ang pagbubuntis. Stop comparing!
--Enja Ryam Ayuste
To all moms… keep strong
Pinangarap naming ng hubby ko na dagdagan ng isa pa ang baby namin. Super alaga siya sa amin noong nagbubuntis ako at hanggang nagluwal ako palagi siyang nasa tabi ko. Todo support siya sa 'kin mula simula hanggang nanganak na ako. At ngayon, 1 month after na at mahal na mahal niya kami.
--Nikka Hubahib QuilabADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
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