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  • 'Walang Kapalit, Walang Kikilos!' Moms Share Pros And Cons Of Rewarding Kids For Chores

    It is a good idea at first, but it can become quite tricky in the long run.
    by Kitty Elicay .
'Walang Kapalit, Walang Kikilos!' Moms Share Pros And Cons Of Rewarding Kids For Chores
PHOTO BY iStock
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    Now that the kids are around 24/7, it makes sense to finally start teaching them about chores. At a young age, chores help build your children up for success — it imparts a lasting sense of mastery, responsibility, and self-reliance, according to research by Marty Rossman, a professor at the University of Minnesota.

    READ WHAT EXPERTS THINK ABOUT REWARDS AND POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

    If your kids are reluctant to start doing chores, you may have thought of establishing a rewards system in exchange for duties. On our parenting community, Smart Parenting Village, one mom shared a viral post about a Pinoy couple who “opened a store” where their kids can get their favorite snacks in exchange for good behavior or chores. It made the mom wonder whether her fellow parents also use rewards to motivate their kids to accomplish tasks on their own.

    What moms think of positive reinforcement

    Most moms agree that positive reinforcement — giving praise or rewarding your child for good behavior — is a good idea at first. But it can also become tricky when they become reliant on compensation rather than learning a sense of responsibility.

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    Here are the advantages and disadvantages of rewards as a discipline tactic:

    “It’s a no for me. Dapat bang may suhol or reward para kumilos ang tao or kids sa loob ng house? House mo ‘yan, so dapat clean talaga siya. It is better to instill sa kids chores and cleanliness.” — Smyle V.

    "I’m doing this, too! Mag-three months na ‘yung mini tindahan ko. Mas nagiging masipag sila and gumagaling mag-compute.” — Jennifer W.

    “I don’t like na kada may ipapagawa you reward them. I taught my kids that each family members have duty to take, and they have a responsibility to keep the house clean, respect each family member, and obey house rules.

    "Halimbawa, [I told them] ‘responsibility namin ng papa ninyo na paaralin kayo sa maayos na paaralan at gabayan, but you also have the responsibility to study hard and do good. Para they will learn to be independent and at the same time, naturuan natin silang maging resourceful.” — Rehtzie B.

    “Maganda naman ang idea… but for me hindi sila dapat masanay na may kapalit. Dapat may kusa sila and teach them how to be responsible. Masasanay kasi sila na anything na gagawin, lagging may kapalit.” — Mary Rose S.

    “Sometimes, rewards are good, classic conditioning ‘yan. But mas maganda if the parents can guide and explain to their kids why they have to learn things, stand on their own, and take responsibility. At the end of the day, para sa kanila lahat ng tinuturo natin.” — Diandra D.C.

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    “Ok din naman ito. Later on, ‘pag nacondition na sila, they would do their chores kahit wala nang reward.” — Kristina F.

    “Pwede ring training ground para sa mga bata kung paano paghirapan ‘yung pera na pambili ng needs and wants. Depende na rin kung paano ipapaliwanag ng mga magulang sa mga bata — kung bakit nila kailangang gawin ‘yan.” — Evangelyn L.

    “My mom did something similar when we were kids. It taught us the value of money and to work hard for the things we want. Hindi lang puro asa or hingi sa kanila. She was creative, too! Hindi lang junk food yung ‘tinitinda’ but like extra 20 minutes of screen time, you get to request the ulam you want, etc.” — Mic Mic

    “I give [my kids] rewards from time to time. But I still instill the value of accountability — kalat mo ligpitin mo, fault mo ayusin mo and say sorry. I take a more objective approach. Kasi ayaw ko sila lumaki na gagawin lang nila pag may benefit sa kanila.

    "In real life, you don't always get what you deserve. Besides, they still have plenty of time to learn business and trading.I'm not saying na mali yan but make sure lang na clear sa mga bata yung values na gusto ninyong iparating.” — Gail Marie

    “Sa panahon ngayon, kapag walang kapalit walang kikilos. ‘Di tulad nung mga bata pa kami talagang matututong kumilos para makatulong sa magulang. Iba na talaga ngayon.” — Rochelle S.

    “Good idea pero baka masanay sila na may bayad lahat ng ginagawa nila. Anyway, good for the parents kasi creative sila.

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    "For me, sinasanay ko sa household chores mga anak ko by praising, giving hugs and kisses, kasi ganun ginawa ng nanay ko sa’min. So far, effective naman.” — Gheeie E.

    READ WHAT EXPERTS THINK ABOUT REWARDS AND POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

    How do you get your kids to behave? Share it in the comments! For more discipline tips from experts, click here.

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