I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom, and I'm Just Winging It Day by Day

I am a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) by choice, and it’s the best thing so far — but also the most challenging.

When I was working in the corporate world, I used to lead a team. I used to mingle with lots of people, attend meetings, brainstorm, handle deadlines and quotas, and many more. So imagine how my life changed when I decided to stay at home and take care of the household 24/7. I had been asked before, “What’s going to happen to your career?” to which I remember answering, “My family is worth putting my career on hold for now.”

I consider myself lucky that I have a husband who can provide while I take care of the household. We never had a yaya nor a helper, by choice. We don’t have parents who stay with us to help. Not that they did not offer — they insist, in fact — but my husband and I are firm that we can do this alone. So it'sjust me, my husband, and our baby since Day 1. 

Do we regret it? So far, no. And I don’t think we will ever regret it. Don’t get me wrong: there are a lot of days when I wish that I were in the office instead, or in a coffee shop having a frappe and a slice of cake in peace, or with my husband on a date, without any worries. But, it is what it is.

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I am not an expert; in fact, I’ve only been doing it for two years, and I am simply winging it day by day. Here are the things that keep a SAHM like me, sane.

1. A supportive husband.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a very supportive and affirmative husband. There are days when I feel worthless and feel that I am not doing things right, but I am blessed to have a husband who always reminds me of the things I do for our family. One busy night, while feeding our daughter and preparing her for bed, he said out of the blue “I can never do what you do everyday. So thank you.” It meant the world to me and in an instant, all my worries are gone. And even if he works 10-12hrs a day, he still manages to help me with the chores and look after our toddler. And I’ve never heard him demand of anything at all. What a relief. 

2. Mommy groups.
Being at home 24/7 gives you more chance to connect with friends virtually. I don’t think it’s bad to be online all the time. People have no idea how reading a funny meme, looking at a cute photo, or simply chatting online with family and friends, especially fellow mommies, saves a mom’s sanity. I am personally happy and thankful I have different mommy groups whom I can talk to about just anything! (SmartParenting.com.ph has a Facebook group called Smart Parenting Village. Click here to visit.)

3. Chores.
Yes, it sounds weird, but for me, getting things done at home is just the same as finishing a task in the office. I make sure to prioritize, whether it be laundry, the grocery, and so on. It’s exhausting, but if you put your heart into it, it gets easier. I take pride in accomplishing something for the day on top of taking care of an active and talkative toddler.

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4. Stepping out.
Three words: Change of scenery. Pretty helpful, I must say! 

5. Crying.
Motherhood is beautiful but it’s not at all glamorous; it’s not rainbows and butterflies all the time. So there will be times when we will cry, or even rant, and that’s okay. I cannot count how many times I’ve had a meltdown and felt sorry for myself. But then again, after all the crying and ranting, I go back to the reason why I chose this in the first place, and I would immediately feel better. 

6. Sticking to what I love.
Just because you’re at home all the time does not mean you can no longer do the things that you love— with limitations, understandably. One can pursue different hobbies too! We always have to remember, a happy mommy means a happy baby!

7. Pray.
The most powerful force for me.

If given a choice, I would still do this over and over. Witnessing my daughter’s milestones, feeling her every emotions, her “only mommy can pacify me” cry, and everything else in between makes everything worth it. At the end of the day, whether you’re working or a stay-at home mom, you, mom, are super.

Din Real Bautista is a proud fulltime homemaker. Most of the time, she’s busy raising a kind-hearted and strong human being named Monica with the help of the most amazing husband, Beejay. And the rest of her time, she’s making sure her life is better outside social media. 

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