Judgment. I've experienced it, you've experienced it, and even high-profile celebrity moms aren't immune to it. And admit it, at one point, you've judged another mom, too -- at the doctor's clinic, at the mall, or even on social media. But the thing is, we're all members of the same club -- the mom club. And in this club, we are united, and we never judge each other especially when it comes to:
Our feeding choices A mother wants to do everything she can for her child, but it's not always easy. Breastfeeding had been challenging for me; I tried everything but ended up in tears over the fact that it was just impossible for me to breastfeed my twins purely.
At first, I felt inadequate whenever people would ask me if my twins were breastfed because I had to do mix feeding before they reached 2 months. Thankfully, many of my breastfeeding friends have supported me without question about my decision to formula feed my twins.
Our birthing preferences Choosing to get an epidural doesn't mean you chickened out and neither does having a C-section make you less of a mother. And, while we're at it, it shouldn't matter either whether you became a mom via adoption, in-vitro fertilization (IVF) or a surrogate. The result is always the same: As mothers, we all love our babies unconditionally.
Our leggings Just because a mom chooses to wear leggings doesn't mean she has let herself go. Leggings are a mom's best friend. We wear them with loose tops and dresses, giving us the freedom of movement when we're running around with our kids. They can even hide that stubborn postpartum belly or unshaven legs because let's face it, shaving one's legs ranks low in a new mom's to do list.
I was so glad when friends who had kids before me (they fit into their pre-pregnancy clothes in no time) were so quick to recommend their favorite postpartum leggings so I could try them myself.
Our career choices It stings when people remark that moms who work in an office get a paid vacation from our kids. Working moms miss their children and would choose to spend more time with them if they could. Staying at home and caring for babies is hard work, too, and involves sacrificing your career and sometimes missing the daily adult interaction.
All moms work, whether that office is at home or in the financial district. So instead of comparing, let's just keep in mind that we live in different circumstances, and we are all just trying to do what's best for our children.
Our parenting style As the saying goes, “All roads lead to Rome.” There are many different routes to the same goal. There is no one size fits all model, and there's no right way to be a mom. We are all just trying to raise happy kids.
So let's all make a pact to stop the mom-judging. Our choices may seem different -- breastfed/formula-fed, drug-free/epidural, stay-at-home/working -- but we are all united in loving our kids with all our hearts and doing the best with what we have. And let me tell you something we're pretty good at it! So let's just cheer each other on because motherhood will be easier if we all stop judging and start supporting.
This piece was submitted by Smart Parenting reader, Katzi F. Santos, a wife and a mom to high energy twins, a boy and girl. She is a Manila-based banker who enjoys juggling motherhood and work. When not busy wiping bums or attempting to sleep, she blogs about her twin motherhood adventures at Starter Mama.