Earlier while I was preparing for work, my 4-year-old asked, “Mommy, malayo pa po ‘yung car mo? (referring to Grab).”
“Wala pang nakukuhang car si mommy, ‘nak,” I said.
Her face lit up, “O, eh di play muna tayo,” she told me.
I didn’t think twice. I sat with her and played her favorite My Little Pony toys until my Grab driver arrived. Oh, baby. If you knew how much I want to stay with you and your little brother every single day so I can take care and play with you. If only you and your little brother only knew and could understand at your very young age what mommy feels and thinks.
There are promises I made when you both arrive in my life. I can only pray that your dad and I will be able to keep them; we will certainly do everything to keep them.
Promise #1: I may not be at home all the time, but I will never leave your side. It hurts me each time I leave you because I have to work. It’s not easy for me to leave you with your yaya. I always wonder how you are at home, if you are eating or have been fed enough, or if you were put to bed early. Know that your dad and I are working very hard because we want to provide you your needs (and your wants, too) and give you the life that you deserve.
Promise #2: Mommy and daddy are not perfect parents, but we try our best to raise you well. Your daddy and I are still a work in progress when it comes to parenting. We may have different parenting styles, but we compromise to make sure that you grow up to be loving, respectful, God-fearing, and happy.
Promise #3: I will support you on your dreams when you grow up. Whether you want to be a singer, dancer, athlete, or an actor, you have mommy’s support. I will not force you to do things that you don’t like — I know exactly how it feels. Instead, I will guide you and be with you until your dreams become a reality. I think I have the tendency to be a stage mom, so please forgive me if that happens. I will be proud of your achievement – may it be small or big. Oh, and it’s okay if things don’t go your way. You just need to stand up, keep your head high but your feet on the ground, accept and learn from your mistakes, and strive even harder. You’ll see me in the sideline cheering you on.
Promise #4: You and your brother will always be my babies. I wish there’s a pause button I can press whenever I think you are growing up so fast. Yeah, mommy is selfish like that. I will never get tire of hugging and kissing you. I will carry you in my arms for as long as I can. I will comb your hair even if you’re already grown-ups. I will be there when you need me, even when you don’t. I will take care of you when you’re sick, even if you get sick of me.
Promise #5: I will never get tired saying how much I love you both. I will keep saying it every chance I get, because you know what? Life is short. It's hard for me to describe the love I have for you both. I just know that I can and will do anything for you — to protect and nurture you, just like any mom would.
Promise #6: If I was given a choice in the afterlife, I will ALWAYS choose to be your mom. Yes, I would even if it means going through the whole pregnancy and enduring pain all over again. Motherhood is chaotic, crazy, exhausting, insane! But, hey, it’s fulfilling! The twinkle in your eyes, your smiles, the laughter, your love. It’s all worth it. I love being your mom, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.
Though she works as a full-time HR advisor, Carol Amistad is a proud hands-on mom to a sweet girl named Zoey and the family's newest bundle of joy, Ethan. She makes sure that her weekends and holidays are well-spent with the hubby and the kids.