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How To Avoid The Tantrums When Your Child Goes 'Mom, I Want This Now!'And how do we not overindulge our kids, especially when they throw a tantrum?by Dahl D. Bennett .
It happens to the best of us. You happily pass by a toy store, and before you know it, your toddler will be pulling you inside. You tell him that he can “look around but no buying,” and he agrees. However, many times that story may end with two possible conclusions: He follows what you say, and all is fine, or he makes a scene to get what he wants.
Nido and SmartParenting.com.ph wanted to explore this topic of how parents handle their kids when they throw a tantrum. At the Smart Parenting Masterclass Toddler Expertips webinar, we asked three moms how do we not overindulge our kids, especially when they throw a tantrum?
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How to teach your toddler self-control, independence and empathy
Parenting coach Felici Pangilinan-Buizon, Abot Tala executive director Owie De La Cruz, and former Pinoy Big Brother housemate and lifestyle blogger Say Alonzo share their creative parenting tips that teach toddlers self-control, independence, and empathy to help balance the ‘do-it-for-me’ and “I-want-it-now” behavior.
1. Teach your kids the realities of life.
Dela Cruz says that parents should teach children the realities of life even as a toddler. “Let them know how much your Internet and electricity bills cost. Let them know that pag binayaran mo lahat ng bills, ito nalang matitira.” She adds the same should apply when they enter a toy store. “So sa toy store, hindi lahat automatically bibilhin. Have a certain budget. My kids, I tell them that they can buy something that’s P300 or less. They can show me all the toys worth P300, but they only get to choose one.”ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
2. Teach kids to be others-oriented.
Pangilinan-Buizon says that teaching children to household chores promotes an others-oriented attitude and, in the process, lessens their dependence on helpers and parents to do things for them. This can be done she says by involving them in everyday activities.
“Think of things in your house that they can actually do already. For my kids, I would ask them to separate the colored from the whites during laundry time and then we would play basketball by trying to shoot the dirty clothes in the washing machine. It’s fun and, at the same time, they’ll feel good about themselves because they realize ‘I can actually do something that will bless the other people in my house.’
3. Work with your child’s motivations.
Dela Cruz says she can teach her daughter the value of helping around the house by anchoring her message on the child’s motivations.
“My daughter at 7 dreams of traveling the world so, I tell her that one day when she, for example, goes to Paris or London, nobody’s going to the house chores for her. She has to do it all on her own. So, work with their motivations and tell them the reason they need to learn things like helping around the house as early as now.
4. Delay gratification.
As a lifestyle blogger, Alonzo usually get toys delivered to her home to review. Seeing the boxes, her son Asher sometimes finds it hard to resist playing with them once he sees them.CONTINUE READING BELOWRecommended Videos
“For me, before allowing him to have the toy, he has to earn it and work for it. I would tell him to finish a task first before he can play with the new toy,” she says, adding that the reward system works for them.”
5. Spend time with your child.
On top of the tips given above, Pangilinan-Buizon reiterates it all boils down to the importance of spending quality time with the child as the best way to counter overindulging them as parents.
“Its okay to give your children gifts, but it cannot take the place of spending time together. That’s more important than showering a child with material things. They probably don’t even know how to ask the question, but what they really want is your attention. Do things together because that is more valuable. That is investing in the heart of your child,” she concludes.
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