Are you one of those parents who, at some point, referred to their child as “the boss”? Sometimes in our intention to make our children happy, we make them the center of everything in the home and base our decisions on what they want. What makes children happy certainly makes parents happy too, but how can we tell if the “boss” has taken his title a little too seriously and started to act like one? Are our children spoiled?
That was the topic SmartParenting.com.ph and Nido wanted to explore for the second webinar of Smart Parenting Masterclass Toddler Expertips. Nido invited Felici Pangilinan-Buizon and Owie De La Cruz, both moms and self-confessed ex “spoiled” kids to answer the question: “Are we overindulging our kids?”
And, if yes, we asked them to provide tips when that feeling of entitlement starts to creep in in your child’s life.
Are you overindulging your kids?
A child expects you to move mountains for them. Or when you ask him to do something straightforward and say, ‘What? You want me to do that?’” These may be telltales sign that you are overindulging your child, says Dela Cruz, who is the executive director of Abot Tala, a center for self-directed learners.
“I was a spoiled child and realized it only when I became a teenager, and it was other teens who made me realize it. Siguro, I’m not used to the hard life, and I expected everybody to do everything for me,” she says, adding that she had to learn the hard way and now runs her home without a helper.
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWPangilinan-Buizon, a parenting coach, says that she too used to be a spoiled child and warns that children who grow up in a household with helpers have a tendency to be spoiled. “When you have yayas at home, what happens is that you delegate everything, not knowing that we, as parents, are teaching our kids to be helpless,” she says.
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Watch out for the ‘I want it now’ attitude
According to Pangilinan-Buizon, a parent can recognize an overindulged child when he shows an attitude of ‘I want it now’ or doesn’t acknowledge that his actions have a consequence.”
“If we tolerate poor behavior while they are young, then we will be facing the consequences, and sometimes kasama si mommy sa consequence,” Pangilinan-Buizon warns. “Sometimes they become too self-centered that they will disrespectfully talk to you and tell you ‘you get it’ if say you are asking them to do something. That’s already a consequence,” she adds.
Un-spoil the child early
Both experts agree that to reverse a spoiled attitude, parents have to do something about it in its earliest signs.
“We have to teach our children how to be independent. The goal of parenting is to prepare them when they become teens and adults, especially when they are not with you anymore. When a child is spoiled, they will expect everybody to move for them and not do anything whatever environment they find themselves in,” cautions Dela Cruz.
“Even if [the signs that show that your child is spoiled] is something [negligible], we already need to nip it in the bud. Otherwise, it can escalate and become something that you can’t control anymore,” warns Pangilinan-Buizon.
CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch nowShe adds that parents have to set limits. “We need to set and establish certain limits because children need that. Actually, one of the psychological needs of people is really to have limits and discipline in their lives. That is one thing that parents need to initiate and be intentional about,” she concludes.
Watch the webinar of Smart Parenting Masterclass Toddler Expertips, co-presented by Nido, below.
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