‘Ayaw kong ipahawak ’yung anak ko sa iba’: Angelica Panganiban on Motherhood Anxiety
The actress opens up about her intense protectiveness during early motherhood.
Published on Oct 6, 2025
Angelica Panganiban looked back on her postpartum experience after the birth of daughter, Amila Sabine. In her guesting on Alyssa Valdez’s podcast The Transition Playbook, the actress said what she went through was not depression but something that carried just as much weight.
Angelica described it as a period of nonstop unease, constantly feeling like she was not doing enough and running on empty. She recalled, “Grabe yung postpartum ko noon. Hindi naman siya depression pero para siyang anxiety. Parang ang dami mong hindi na-accomplish, ang dami mong hindi nagawa. Tapos parang gusto mo na lang sumigaw. ‘Ayoko na muna!’”
When Anxiety Turns Into Possessiveness
Angelica said her anxiety quickly turned into being super protective. She did not want anyone else holding her baby, not even the grandmothers. “Ayaw kong ipahawak ’yung anak ko sa iba, and ’yung nakakaloka doon, kahit lola, ayaw ko.” Whenever someone came over, she would just hide in her room with the baby.
She admitted she knew it was irrational but could not stop herself. She pointed to her past as one reason for reacting that way. “Kasi adopted ako, and never akong naka-experience ng sarili kong dugo.”
“So bakit ako umabot sa point na kahit sila, hindi nila pwedeng hawakan ’yung anak ko? For the first time, meron akong dugo’t laman ko. Ito ’yung pinakaunang akin. Kaya siguro may ganu’n ako,” she added.
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The 36-year-old actress also shared how she copes with her postpartum struggles.
READ HEREThe Science Behind Postpartum Anxiety
Experts say this kind of response is common among new mothers. Studies show that one in five women experience postpartum anxiety. Instead of sadness, it often appears as hyperalertness, irritability, and an intense urge to guard the baby from perceived harm.
Hormones heighten this reaction. After childbirth, estrogen and progesterone levels drop fast while oxytocin rises. Oxytocin strengthens bonding but can also trigger a defensive instinct, especially in mothers with past emotional wounds or unstable upbringing.
Scientific research explains that this response is not purely emotional but neurological. Studies on postpartum anxiety found that the amygdala, the brain’s internal alarm system, becomes more reactive in early motherhood. This makes mothers more sensitive to possible threats, even when situations are safe.
Motherhood comes with its share of challenges, and many moms experience the same anxieties and protective instincts. Feeling overwhelmed or extra cautious with your baby is normal and does not make you a bad parent.
Learn more about postpartum anxiety here.
Hanna is a News Desk Writer at Smart Parenting, covering parenting, health, culture, and more. Off the clock, she’s likely people-watching at a café or park, matcha latte in hand.