Lian Paz on Raising Independent Girls with John Cabahug

Lian shared how their discipline styles complement each other.

Published on Aug 13, 2025

For Lian Paz and her partner John Cabahug, raising their daughters is about guiding them to become independent while staying closely connected as a family. They focus on helping their girls grow in confidence and values, turning everyday moments into chances for learning and bonding.

Also read: Lian Paz Admits She Considered Being an OFW, Says ‘Naiiyak Ako Iniisip Ko Pa Lang’

Balancing Discipline With Understanding

In an exclusive interview with PEP.ph, the former EB Babe shared how she and John built strong bonds and instilled values in their blended family. Their daughters include nine-year-old Nina, and Xonia and Xalene, Lian’s daughters from her past marriage to actor Paolo Contis. John also has a daughter from a previous relationship.

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Instagram/ @liankatrina.

For Lian, discipline is more than just enforcing rules. It requires patience and explanation. “Kami naman kasi ni John, hindi kami parehas ng personality. Ako ‘yung police, e, so ako ‘yung istrikta talaga. So pagka ako ang nagdisiplina sa mga bata, siya ‘yung gagawa ng paraan. Later kakausapin niya... sa kanya, easy na lang, parang light talking na lang. Ipapaintindi niya sa mga bata bakit ako nagalit.”

This approach helps their growing daughters understand the reasons behind boundaries. Lian added, “For example, ‘I need to get your phone.’ They know why. Hindi puwedeng hindi nila alam.” Clear explanations allow the children to accept limits without feeling treated unfairly.

Lian also acknowledged the challenge of staying calm, especially with teenagers. “It really helps talaga when they are growing, lalo na ngayong teenager na sila, with ethical values talaga. Kasi kapag ako lang as a human being, I will always falter talaga. Init ng ulo and everything. Minsan wala sa lugar. At iba kapag na-practice mo talaga ‘yung pasensya and how to deal with them nang maayos.”

Building Stronger Connections

Because technology can distract from family time, Lian and John are intentional about limiting gadget use. “Sobrang importante talaga ng quality time, lalo na ngayon na sobrang into gadgets lahat. So kami, we see to it, sabi ko sa kanila, ‘Pag nasa car, nagda-drive si dad, walang magse-cellphone.”

She continued, “Tapos sa bahay naman, kapag kumakain sa dining table, ayoko rin na may gadgets. So as much as I can, I refrain them from using gadgets na sobrang tagal na oras. Binabawasan ko lang ‘yung time nila doon. For example, nasa car, minsan ‘yun na lang yung time [namin] together. We see to it that we ask them, ‘What happened in school? How was your day?’ So pati sa dining table, ganoon.”

These small, intentional moments become valuable opportunities for bonding and conversation. They allow the family to connect openly and make their daughters feel heard.

Being part of a spiritual community also strengthens the family’s values. She shared, “It’s different kapag ‘yung may spiritual family. Iba ‘yung activities na ginagawa niyo together. Minsan, wala ‘yung technology. We will put that away and do this and that lang. So meron kami limitations. So kahit ano pa ‘yung faith namin, kung pinapakita naman namin sa mga bata nagko-contradict dun sa faith namin, hindi rin sila maniniwala.”

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Fostering Independence and Decision-Making

As Xonia and Xalene grow into their teenage years, Lian and John work on nurturing their independence. “Nagpo-focus kami sa kung ano ‘yung gusto ng mga bata, and [if] makaka-build ba ito ng personality nila,” she said.

Lian gave an example: “Kasi minsan, ‘di ba, we’re into thinking about throwing parties all the time. Pero minsan, gusto lang natin ‘yun as parents to socialize, e, pero hindi naman pala ‘yun ang gusto ng mga bata. So kami, parang feeling ko, ‘yun ang dapat ituro natin sa mga bata para may freedom sila to choose. Mahirap kasi, tayo lumaki tayo ng ganyan, wala tayong karapatan pumili ‘di ba? ‘Pag gusto ng magulang dapat mag-debut ka, magde-debut ka talaga! Gusto namin, meron talaga silang decision-making din.”

Spending quality time together and staying open in communication helps children grow confident and independent—something all parents can try.

Meet the parents shaping confident, strong girls. Click here to read their story.

Hanna is a News Desk Writer at Smart Parenting, covering parenting, health, culture, and more. Off the clock, she’s likely people-watching at a café or park, matcha latte in hand.