Raising Strong Daughters: What These Parents Are Teaching Girls

When I look at my daughter, I couldn't help but wonder—where did time go? More than that, I imagine how the world will treat her someday. What we're doing now as her parents would shape that. We will do everything in our power to raise her to be confident, resilient, and smart—someone who knows she can take up space and change the world. But how can we do that?

One of the gifts of social media is that it has turned parenting into a collaborative effort. We are not alone in this—we are a village, a community. We owe a debt of gratitude to our parents, who did their best with what they had to prepare us for the world they knew. Their teachings are invaluable.

Now, as parents, we have the power to learn from our past experiences—the good and the bad—so that we can thrive in the present and shape a better future for our children. Growing up, some of us couldn't say no, speak up, or pursue the path we wanted. But as parents today, we have the chance to make it better. 

How Filipino Parents are Raising Strong Daughters

We asked Smart Parenting parent editors, contributors, and community members what lessons they are teaching their children—lessons they wish they had learned growing up.

They also shared advice they hope their daughters will carry into adulthood. Their responses centered on self-worth, resilience, and empowerment—such as teaching their daughters to value their opinions, to stand up for themselves, and to pursue their dreams. These are things we can all learn from as we raise the strong Filipinas of the future.

'No is actually an option'

April Llana, 40, Smart Parenting contributing writer
Mom to Pia, age 11

"I want to teach my daughter that it's okay to say "No". It doesn't matter if 'nakakahiya naman kay ganito or kay ganyan,' or it would cause a minor inconvenience or even worry about 'anong sasabihin ng ibang tao' or do something you hate doing for the sake of making other people comfortable. I constantly worried about how people would react so I walked on eggshells for most of my life and became a 'people pleaser' only to realize that sometimes, "No" is actually an option."

"I would tell my daughter, 'Hindi ka 'buy one, take one.' Isipin mo ikaw yung limited edition, 'yung nasa iskaparate. Yung pinapangarap, pinag-iipunan. Binabalik-balikan, pinaghihirapan. Lagyan mo ng value ang sarili mo.'" —April Llana

April's piece of advice to her daughter:

"I hope my daughter will always remember herself as a precious piece. My mom would always tell me, and I would now tell her, 'Hindi ka 'buy one, take one.' Isipin mo ikaw yung limited edition, 'yung nasa iskaparate. Yung pinapangarap, pinag-iipunan. Binabalik-balikan, pinaghihirapan. Lagyan mo ng value ang sarili mo.'"

"My daughter is now 11, and boys are looming into the picture. I hope she'd learn to see her value towards adulthood because it's easy to feel insecure or sell oneself short, but if she would think that she's a 'limited edition' piece, then she would be unstoppable."

'Toys are toys'

Don M. Gaoiran, 37, Smart Parenting contributing writer
Dad of Daniele Marina, age 5

"Toys are toys! She can pick up a race car or a dump truck as fast as she wants to play with a doll house or a fluffy plushie. In the same line, she can choose any color of toy she likes."

Don's piece of advice to her daughter:

"It's about honesty and telling the truth. When she tells the truth to us, her parents, she won't need to create or keep up with any false story, which is harder and heavier to carry around."

'You always have a choice'

Victoria Dang, Smart Parenting Squad member and contributing writer
Mom to Priscilla, age 2

"I want to teach my daughter self-awareness early on because I grew up in an environment where choices felt limited. My parents raised us in a restrictive way, and I don’t want her to feel the same lack of freedom. I want her to understand her thoughts, emotions, and decisions so she can build confidence and a strong sense of self. This doesn’t mean letting her do whatever she wants but creating a space where she feels safe to explore, make choices, and learn—so she grows up knowing her voice matters."

Victoria's piece of advice to her daughter:

"I want my daughter to carry this advice into adulthood: "No matter how it seems, we always have a choice." Especially as a woman, I want her to remember that even in difficult situations, there are always two sides to the coin—choices to explore, paths to take, and possibilities to consider."

"I hope she continues to learn how to speak up and not bottle up her emotions and thoughts, different from her Mommy." —Riyalyn Grace Pasimio

'Your mind and body are limitless'

Mindy Lagdameo, postpartum core rehab specialist and Smart Parenting Village member
Mom of two girls, ages 9 and 7

"You are worthy and capable of literally anything you set your mind to. You can set your own boundaries and break all limits set by yourself or anyone around you. Your mind and body are limitless."

Mindy's piece of advice to her daughters:

"Whatever you give out into the world is what will come back to you. Always speak life, be kind to everyone, and live in gratitude."

'Dress well'

Geli Blanco, 34, Smart Parenting contributing writer
Mom of Gabi, 2

"One lesson I am teaching my daughter—one that I overlooked growing up—is the importance of dressing well to amplify her talents and intelligence. I used to believe that ability alone was enough, but I’ve come to understand that presentation shapes perception. Dressing with intention does not change one’s skills, but it ensures that those skills are noticed and taken seriously. It is a way of reinforcing one’s credibility, making a lasting impression, and ensuring that the substance of one’s work is met with the recognition it deserves."

Geli's piece of advice to her daughter:

"I hope my daughter grows into adulthood with an unwavering commitment to purpose, fortified by grit, humility, and a deep sense of responsibility. I want her to gracefully embrace challenges and criticism as opportunities for growth, and to recognize that privilege is not merely a personal advantage but a resource to be stewarded with a sense of duty. More than personal success, I hope she sees the true measure of a meaningful life in her ability to serve others—offering not just her talents, but the best of herself, as an oblation to a cause greater than her own ambitions."

'Speak up'

Riyalyn Pasimio, 32, Smart Parenting contributing writer
Mom of Roice, 5

"I grew up in a family set-up where talks were not common. It's not as bad as it sounds, but simply put, we didn’t talk about emotions, dreams, or all those things. It had a deep effect on me and how I communicated my feelings. I talked to Roice ever since she was in my womb, when she was a baby, until now that she’s five. I encouraged her to talk. She learned how to describe her feelings, too. Boy, it’s a double-edged sword. She's very talkative. She tells me everything, to the point that I get annoyed sometimes. There's non-stop, "Mommy, tingnan mo to," "Mommy, ano ibig sabihin?", "Mommy, gusto ko nito." And sometimes, she can be brutally honest with me, "Mommy, ang sungit mo."

"I hope she continues learning to speak up and not bottle up her emotions and thoughts, different from her Mommy. I hope she learns to speak up when she doesn't like how she’s treated and when she doesn't feel right."

Riya's piece of advice to her daughter:

"I can’t think of anything more fitting advice than carrying Jesus in her heart. No matter how much I teach her, the world will always be full of surprises. It’s not a perfect world, after all. I’m not a perfect mother, either. No matter how hard I try to protect her from pain, she will still encounter heartbreak. The only thing I want her to carry into adulthood is her faith in Jesus. And her faith journey starts now, even when she’s young."

"I hope I can teach my daughter that standards and expectations should not be different for women and men." —Ronna Capili Bonifacio

'Learn to do things independently'

Jilianne Roylence Francia, 32, Smart Parenting contributing writer
Mom of two girls, ages 6 and 4

I am teaching them to be more independent. Growing up, my mom would always do everything for us, and I appreciate all her sacrifices and efforts. My kids, however, learned independence early in life. For instance, we practiced baby-led weaning and taught them to bathe themselves because we don’t have a yaya, and our kids need to learn to do things independently.

We also teach them to ask questions. As a child who had lots of questions before, my mom would say, “Malalaman mo rin when you grow older.” As for my children, I let them ask questions. Sometimes, we answer their questions with another question to let them think critically. Their generation is so wise that we must nurture their curiosity while guiding them with wisdom and discernment.

These teachings will help them become more resilient someday."

Jilianne's piece of advice to her daughters:

"Never be afraid to be yourself. You are the only YOU in this world, and you have so many unique capabilities to offer. Live life purposefully."

'Spend more time worrying about how beautiful you are inside'

Em Cruz, Smart Parenting section editor
Mom of two girls, ages 11 and 5

"On the practical side, I want to teach my daughters to be financially capable and independent. I plan to sit down with them and discuss what they need to earn to sustain their desired lifestyle and how to achieve it based on the career they want to pursue.

However, I want them to understand that there are no limits to what they can achieve or who they can become—as long as they work hard and stay true to themselves. As women, we have the power to shape our lives at every stage, and all we need is the courage to pursue what truly fulfills us."

Em's piece of advice to her daughters:

"Spend more time worrying about how beautiful you are inside than outside. It’s okay to take care of yourself, but the real investment should be in your character—living with honor, integrity, and respect. Be thoughtful and compassionate because those qualities will lead to a truly beautiful life."

'Demand equal opportunities and realities as men'

Ronna Capili Bonifacio, Smart Parenting editor-in-chief
Mom to Vera, age 12

"I hope I can teach my daughter that standards and expectations should not be different for women and men. The same rules apply to her and her brothers. She is not expected to be "more behaved" or "more proper" because she is female. How they act is not based on gender; it is a matter of values. Hopefully, I can also teach her the flipside: she should demand the same opportunities and realities for herself that boys or men have."

Ronna's piece of advice to her daughter:

"It would be from my recent interview with Senator Risa Hontiveros. It's advice she also shares with her daughters: "Treasure having been born a woman. I think it was deliberate in the mind of God. It's your way of living, being, and loving in this world. I know there are more particular challenges being born a woman, pero sige, bakahin niyo yan. Ilaban niyo yan."

Watch Smart Parenting's interview with Senator Risa Hontiveros for Women's Month here.

May we raise strong daughters who know their worth, stand their ground, and change the world.