How to Get Your Kids Talking After School

If you regularly pickup your kids after school, you’re familiar with the struggle of getting kids to open up and talk about their day. While there are days when they’re hyped and bursting with stories, there are many more days when you’re lucky to get a simple “Yes” or “No” out of them.

Getting school-aged kids to talk is a universal parenting challenge. This is exactly what Matty J and Ash of Two Doting Dads addressed in a reel with author and parent educator, Gen Muir. Gen shared a few tips on how to navigate after-school sessions for parents who want to turn the ride home into a genuine chika session.

In the video, Gen confirms what most parents already know doesn’t work: Standard questions like:

• “How was your day? / Kamusta araw mo?”

• “Who did you play with? / Sinong kalaro mo?”

• “What did you eat for lunch? / Anong kinain mo sa recess?”

These typically trigger “auto-pilot” responses like “no one,” “nothing,” “fine,” “wala,” or “okay lang.”

According to Gen, the first thing parents should do after picking up their kids is to shut up. Instead of doing rapid fire questions, parents should offer their kids a snack. “Kids are hangry when they walk out of the school gates,” Gen explained. Once they’re fed and settled, they’ll be much more likely to talk.

Try asking questions that require more than a one-word answer:

• “Is there something funny that happened today?”

• “What was the most boring part of your day?”

“High Low Buffalo” is a game that involves asking kids to identify:

• High: The best part of the day

• Low: The most challenging part

• Buffalo: A random fact or “something you want others to know.”

“It actually fosters gratitude and compassion,” Gen explains, “because actually sometimes we want to harness what are the things that are going well at school.”

Here are some questions on your next drive home to get the conversation moving:

• Anong best part ng lunch or recess mo?

• Na-stress or na-bore ka ba today?

• Did you achieve something na you want to flex?

• What was the funniest thing na nakita mo or nangyari today?

• May umiyak ba na classmate today?

• Who or what made you laugh today?

• Did something happen today na hindi mo kinatuwa?

• May secret ka bang nalaman today sa school?

• What was the most interesting thing na sinabi ni teacher today?

• What was the most boring thing na sinabi ni teacher today?

While having the right questions is a great start, the way you listen matters just as much as what you ask. Remembering details from previous conversations—like the name of a new friend, a project they were nervous about, or a game they played yesterday—goes a long way in boosting your bond. It shows them that you aren't just "checking in," but that you are truly invested in their world.

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