The Manosphere Is Here—and It's Coming for Our Sons

“Watch The Manosphere,” everyone said. “It will terrify you,” they said. An hour into watching the Netflix documentary, I was nonplussed. “How could anyone buy into these outrageous ideas spouted by such lame losers? And who would fall for that laughable sales pitch?” I thought. That all changed when my 15-year-old son popped in to watch with us after recognizing the manosphere influencer on screen. “Oh, it’s Sneako,” he said, as if he had bumped into an old friend.

If you haven’t watched the documentary, Louis Thereoux: Inside the Manosphere is a deep dive into the so-called manosphere, a group of influencers spreading a toxic, misogynistic version of masculinity online. These range from mostly harmless fitness influencers (Get bigger muscles now!) to those promoting hate speech targeted at women. Andrew Tate (currently facing sex trafficking charges) and Myron Gaines are some of the more prominent manosphere influencers, as well as HS Tikky Tokky (Harrison Sullivan), and Sneako (Nicolas Kenn De Balinthazy) from the Netflix docu.

Believing that somehow men have become victims of a society dominated by women, the manosphere claims to give the power back to men. And it does this by championing strict gender roles, attacking feminism, and espousing rigid definitions of masculine worth. Flying under the banner of the manosphere, you’ll find groups like Men’s Rights Activists, Involuntary Celibates, Pick-Up Artists, as well as ties to Donald Trump’s MAGA movement. Looking deeper still, the manosphere is connected to online gambling and money scams (Subscribe to earn more money and get more hot babes!).

The horror is the manosphere has global reach, from the USA to South America to Africa—even into my own living room in the Philippines. So what’s a parent to do?

To my son’s credit, he said, with a shrug, that he always knew that Sneako’s content was misogynistic. In short, he didn’t take the red pill. The content was just funny and entertaining, he told me. But as a father to three boys, I can’t help but worry. I can’t gatekeep every YouTube short and haunt every thread they lurk in.

What worries me is this: the manosphere is targeted straight at young men, teens and yes, even tween boys. In one scene from the documentary, Sneako was walking down the streets of New York when a fan recognized him. Graciously stopping for a selfie and a signature, the influencer was soon surrounded by fawning fans—all of them adolescent boys.

It’s becoming clear to me that our children are already living in the manosphere. They are being targeted, and what’s more, social platforms are helping the manosphere reach our boys.

According to researchers from digital safety organization Reset Tech and the nonprofit Equimundo, “‘Masculinity’ has become a commercial category that is constructed, curated, and financially incentivized online.” In a paper published online entitled “The Grift Economy: How Young Men Are Being Sold Fake Belonging and Fake Wealth Online,” they paint a picture of the manosphere at work, showing how young men are drawn into paid communities and then sold everything from supplements to crypto schemes to coaching programs—all of which add up to a “multibillion-dollar industry.”

Like all good cons, there is a nugget of truth at its center. For the manosphere, the inconvenient truth it preys upon is this: Young men are in crisis.

The Male Loneliness Epidemic is just the tip of the iceberg, but it’s a good starting point to understand what’s happening to our boys. Due to a host of reasons—too much screen time, stigma about being vulnerable, loss of third spaces—young men are becoming socially isolated. Add economic challenges from a weak global economy into the mix, and you have a generation of disconnected and disempowered youth.

These same youths are on the cusp of becoming men. Finding their way to manhood—to discovering their identity, their strengths and their agency, to finding their partners, to leading their communities—has never been fraught with more peril. And, sadly more and more, they have few positive male role models to show them what it means to be a man.

The manosphere offers a cheap solution: hate women, hate groups that made the world this way, and unapologetically take what you haven’t earned. But maybe, with the right parenting, we can show boys and young men that there is another answer.

RELATED READ: How To Raise Your Son To Be A Good, Sensitive, And Honest Man

What’s a parent to do then? The task ahead is hard, and the answers are mostly old and familiar. Minimize screen time for a generation that spends most of their waking hours online. Have honest and open conversations about abuse, hate speech, consent—all the pressing issues faced by our kids. Teach them how to spot scams and protect themselves online. Employ whatever digital guardrails are available. Finally—and this is the toughest one—be a positive role model to your children. Fathers need to teach their boys how to be men—something that has been true for millennia.

What’s new is that the threat is in our house; it snuck in through the screens, and it’s cozy with our boys. The hope is, if we raised them right, they will be armored against such threats.

Thinking about how to raise sons to be respectful of women (and other people, for that matter)? Read this article for both moms and dads.