‘Don’t Let Trying to Conceive Define Your Marriage’

“We stopped living our lives in two-week periods,” Pat Adriano candidly shared with Smart Parenting.

At first, her statement might not make sense. But for those who have been in the same situation—especially couples trying to conceive—that one line can mean everything.

Pat (32) and Leo (34) Adriano lost their first pregnancy two years ago. At the time, they had been married for two years. Even within that seemingly short period, they were already getting questions like, “Kailan kayo magkakaanak?” Their friends also started getting pregnant one by one.

After their loss, Pat and Leo decided to take a break from trying to conceive. Pat said, “It took a while for us to recover because it was getting too much.”

Leo shared, “Noon, every two weeks, nag-track kami ng ovulation, tapos biglang magkakaroon ng menstruation, nakikita ko siyang umiiyak nang paulit-ulit.”

They had been closely monitoring ovulation and fertility apps and regularly attending doctor appointments. After the miscarriage, they stopped.

“We started living for ourselves muna. For some time, wala kaming ibang magawa because we were working hard for our baby. Considering that we are technically honeymooners, hindi kami makapag-book ng trip,” Pat continued.

After a year and a half, they realized that seeing other babies “didn’t hurt as much anymore.”

As Pat recalled, “Parang ready na tayo.”

Pat consulted her OB-Gyne about her polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome (PMOS, formerly known as PCOS) because she wanted to regulate her period. That consultation marked the beginning of their “full-force TTC journey again.”

“We changed our doctor, and we think it’s a great help for us,” Pat and Leo shared.

Pat was prescribed medication, while Leo underwent a semen analysis. When his results came back lower than normal, Leo was prescribed supplements and vitamins.

They also made changes to their lifestyle.

“It was around December nung nag-decide kami to really get pregnant again. It was hard because of the celebrations. But we worked hard on it. Control ng food, no alcohol, and all those things.”

“During our first pregnancy, we felt like we were not at our best physical state. Our lifestyle and work were the greatest contributors, since night-shift ang work ni Leo,” Pat explained.

According to their OB-GYN, “Bata pa kayo.” They were advised to try conceiving naturally for six months. After that, they could consider intrauterine insemination (IUI), followed by in vitro fertilization (IVF).

“But we didn’t really think of IUI or IVF as options because those were not the best financial decisions for us.”

Through the process, Pat and Leo also realized that trying to conceive wasn't something Pat had to carry alone. Leo worked hard to change his habits, too.

He said, “Hindi naman ako malakas uminom, pero nung nagta-try na kami ulit, zero alcohol na. I also smoked a bit after we lost our first pregnancy to cope, pero tinigil ko na rin. I walked a lot and exercised.”

“It’s a combined effort,” Pat said.

In March 2026, Pat felt unusually sleepy for an entire week. It was still too early for a pregnancy test, and at the same time, the fear of seeing another negative result still haunted her.

“I didn’t want to get my hopes up,” she said.

It’s one of the many silent battles couples trying to conceive face: the fear of taking yet another pregnancy test and seeing another negative result.

This time, however, there was a faint line.

“Sabi ko sa kanya, gamitin na niya ang Clearblue para mas accurate, and ayun nga, ‘pregnant’ ang nakalagay sa Clearblue.”

Pat and Leo were beyond happy: They had conceived again.

“Yun nga lang, we already booked trips for this year kasi nga sabi namin we will live for ourselves again,” they shared, smiling at the thought of what might be the best reason to cancep a trip: a pregnancy.

At the same time, Pat couldn't shake the anxiety brought on by her previous miscarriage.

“Instead of being too happy, there’s a feeling of worry and anxiety. For the first two months, I was scared of blood in my underwear.”

Her OB-GYN closely monitored her pregnancy because of her family history of antiphospholipid syndrome (APAS).

It got easier as the days went by. But before her six- to seven-week appointment, Pat noticed some spotting. They went to their check-up and were greeted by a surprise.

“We found out we are having twins.”

“I knew sa side ko at sa side niya merong genes ng twins. But what I didn’t know was kay Leo pala, both sides of the family. Akala ko maternal side lang din like mine,” Pat shared.

Their excitement, however, was soon accompanied by another layer of worry.

At their eight-week doctor appointment, they learned that Twin B was behind in development and had a slower heart rate than Twin A.

By the 10th-week appointment, they received devastating news: Twin B had stopped developing completely.

“Bumalik lahat ng anxiety namin from the first pregnancy. Nag-flashback lahat ng fear."

Aside from their concerns about Twin B, the doctor also found something concerning on Twin A's scan.

“According to the doctor, there’s a soft marker associated with Down Syndrome,” Pat shared. “Yun yung palaging sinasabi sa amin noon since hindi ma-confirm unless you do an NIPT or that other test.”

Pat and Leo decided to wait.

“Looking back, naisip ko, bakit ganito? Bakit ang complicated ng pagbubuntis ko? Bakit parang telenovela?” Pat shared.

She also found herself wondering why pregnancy looked so different from what she had once imagined.

“Why do I have this type of pregnancy? Before, I thought pregnancy was supposed to be a beautiful thing—all those changes—and then all these hardships, and then here are my experiences.”

By her 20th week, Pat had been diagnosed with Vanishing Twin Syndrome. Twin B was eventually no longer visible on ultrasound, while Twin A continued to develop. The earler concerns on Twin A’s scans were also cleared.

Now, finally, Pat is allowing herself to enjoy her pregnancy bit by bit.

“I’m trying to enjoy our pregnancy properly. Nag-nenesting na kami. We go to baby fairs. Now I’m 25 weeks, and I feel the kicks. It gets more real now."

Each kick in her belly reminds Pat of everything they went through to get here.

“I don’t know kung counted ba na double rainbow baby ito, if ever there is such a term.”

They also kept the first weeks of the pregnancy private, sharing the news only with their closest family members.

“Before, I thought I was going to be a mom who posts a lot about pregnancy, but it turned out the opposite way. This way, meron din kaming peace and walang unsolicited comments,” Pat shared.

“Sinabi ko sa kanya, kahit kaming dalawa lang, okay lang. Nagpakasal kami dahil mahal namin ang isa’t isa,” Leo shared.

After everything they had been through, Pat and Leo talked about the possibility of growing old with just the two of them. They had also discussed adoption instead of pursuing IUI or IVF.

“We are still a family even if it’s just the two of us,” they added. “Ang mahalaga, masaya kayong mag-asawa, may baby man o wala. The baby is a bonus, a very beautiful bonus. But it shouldn’t define your marriage.” 

For other couples going through their own TTC journey, Pat and Leo have a few words of encouragement.

“It’s okay to be worried, but don’t let it consume you to the point that you would not live your life anymore. Two years kaming ganito, until we decided to enjoy our lives and enjoy our honeymoon stage,” Pat shared.

Leo added, “Don’t let it define your marriage. Don’t let it define your family, and yourself. You’re still a family kahit kayong dalawa lang.”

For Pat and Leo, perhaps that's what it meant to finally stop living life in two-week periods: Their family was already a family, long before a pregnancy test told them otherwise.

Pat and Leo are expecting their child in November. 

In this interview, digital creator Lottie Bie shares her life beyond the skit–from struggling with uterine disease to trying to conceive and finally shocking the internet with her ‘little bee’ reveal.