3 Tips on Dealing with a Crybaby

Crying is the first way children learn how to communicate. As babies, they cry to signal they are in need of something or they are uncomfortable and unhappy. They cry when they are hungry, in pain, sleepy, frustrated or even just plain bored! At this stage, crying often is very normal simply because it is the only way they can get their message across. As they grow beyond infancy though, toddlers and older children may use crying to get their way.

Related: The 4 Major Benefits of Baby Signing

Toddlers and older children have tantrums and crying fits because of frustration or extreme emotions they have difficulty dealing with. Oftentimes, the reactions they get from their parents and caregivers because of, and during these tantrums or crying fits teach children how much power their tears can have.

Parents and caregivers who are too quick to help, or are overly indulgent of their children when they cry may unknowingly teach them that they need not be patient or independent in doing tasks - all there is to do is have a crying fit when things get tough and help will come a running. Doing this may also teach children that they can get away with anything. Environments where authority figures are lax and inconsistent with limitations and boundaries may also make children find it hard to follow rules. This leads to more frustration and more crying fits because they simply cannot cope with the rule-ridden real world.

[previous|page|next]

So how does one deal with crybabies?  Here are a couple of tips.

1. Learn to unlearn
Remembering that crybabies are made and not born is the basic principle to this. Parents and caregivers have to face first that they have contributed to why the child is a crybaby. Try to unlearn the usual reactions to the child at each crying fit so this, in turn, can help him change his own behavior. For example, if every time he tries to put together a puzzle he ends up crying and you end up taking over and completing the puzzle for him, try next time to unlearn this reaction and replace it with a more proactive one - maybe instead of solving the problem for him, be calm and encourage him to keep trying, but let him complete the puzzle by himself. This may be difficult in the beginning but slowly but surely, your crybaby will learn to be less dependent, and more confident in his capabilities.

2. Ignore the bad, reward the good
Ignoring a screaming and wailing child can be very difficult and heart wrenching in the beginning but remember that it is for the best. Take note, of course, that ignoring does not mean completely disregarding him or showing anger or displeasure towards him. Just be calm and make sure he is OK, but ignore his crying fit completely. Know that no matter how long it takes for him in the beginning to stop crying, it is for the best and know that in time, his tantrums will become shorter and shorter because he does not get the reaction he wants anymore. In turn, praise when he is able to do tasks without crying or reacting negatively.
    
If your crybaby has a fit each time he is not allowed to do something like play computer games on school days, and you usually give in anyway because he won’t stop crying until you allow him to, try to firmly say no and explain calmly why he cannot do what he wants. Ignore the crying fit you know he will have and let him cry it out. When he does stop crying though, tell him you’re proud that he was able to stop crying on his own, but still be firm with your decision and resist the urge to give him a reward because he stopped crying on his own. Reward him rather when he does good deeds like maybe packing away his toys with little or no prompting or maybe doing a chore for you throughout the day. Slowly but surely, your crybaby will understand that he will not get anywhere by being such.

3. Lay down boundaries
Children need to have routine and rules and boundaries. This helps give order and consistency to their lives. Of course, your crybaby may not see it that way in the beginning, and he may have many a crying fit because you finally laid down the law. It is important though to stand your ground and enforce the rules and boundaries consistently. In time, he will come to appreciate the freedoms he has with knowing and obeying rules and slowly curb instances of crying fits.

Crybabies are made, not born. And because they are such, it is not impossible to change their behavior. With a little tough love, time and determination, it is never too late to make positive changes.

Photo by emrank from flickr creative commons