5 Ways to a Better You this New Year

The New Year normally brings with itself new hopes, dreams and goals, and yes, the usual “New Year’s resolutions.” Here, we share some things you can do to make this year one of your best yet:

1. Grow your love.
This year, focus on strengthening your relationships with the people you love the most – your spouse, children, parents, siblings, close friends, etc. Commit to spending time with your loved ones on a regular basis, especially your spouse and kids.

Growing your love for your spouse
For the wives (like this author), you may want to first find out about some things husbands wish their wives knew. The same goes for the husbands – knowing the things your wives wish you knew could make all the difference in your marriage.

 Let’s not forget too, that to have a joyful marriage, sex AND intimacy matter very much – in fact, they are crucial in making a marriage work.

Of course, being a wife myself, I’d like to take this opportunity to remind my fellow wives (and myself too), that there are also certain attitudes we take on that can harm our marriage. Let’s take the time to check ourselves, so that we can grow in our relationship with our spouses. Also, learning how to decode our hubbies’ communication style will help us avoid any major misunderstandings.

For the couples who feel that they need a little bit more romance in their lives, there are dozens of ways you can spice up your marriage (here are five things you can do).

Growing your love for your spouse can include all of the “tips” listed above, but it can also mean something as simple as going down memory lane, reliving your first meeting and first date, and recalling why you said “I do” in the first place.

Growing your love for your kids
For those of us with kids, we know all too well that there are days when we feel our “love tanks” running low, especially when there are one or more children under three all under the same roof! Here are a few ways we can “refill” those “tanks” and remember that our children need all the love, care and attention we can give them:
a. Bond with our kids even during “non-special” occasions. Such occasions could be when we take down our Christmas decór, or even just read to the children before bedtime. Even rainy days can be a time for fun family bonding!
b. Turn off the TV, computer, and all other electronic gadgets and enjoy bonding with our kids over family board games, or maybe even traditional indoor Filipino games.
c. Explore ways that you could maximize the time you spend with your kids. For parents of preschoolers, and even 6 to 7 year olds, homeschooling could even be a desirable option or lifestyle choice. Most homeschooling parents can attest to the close bond that they share with their children – and vice versa. I have personally heard quite a few homeschooled children, who are in their teens or are young adults now state matter-of-factly that their best friends are their parents. Isn’t this something all of us parents wish our own kids would say about us?
d. Helping your children deal with their emotions will ultimately help your relationship with her. Parent-child relationships will benefit from parents helping children to develop good habits, and to have good manners. Knowing how to deal with younger kids’ tantrums will also help strengthen Daddy’s and Mommy’s relationships with their little ones.
e. Hug your children several times every day. There is a certain “magic” in hugging. Learn more too about the “language of love” and discover the different ways we can show our love for our children.
f. Fathers, take note: it is crucial that you have special bonding time with your sons as well. If you don’t know where to start, you could try these ideas.

Of course, one cannot give what one does not have in the first place. Make sure that you also grow your love for yourself this year. Invest in yourself; live your dreams; take lots of breaks to de-stress; pamper yourself on occasion. Loving yourself is not about being vain, but taking care of yourself so you can also take care of others.

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2. Grow your hope.
Growing your hope means looking at the future as “half full” and not “half empty.” It means to move forward with great expectations, and maybe even joyful hope, despite not knowing what lies ahead. Yes, the year 2011 may have found many of us suffering personal trials, nursing heartaches, or even losing loved ones – but the future is always full of hope.

One practical way to grow one’s hope is to identify and write down your life dreams. Popular inspirational author and speaker Bo Sanchez has dozens of articles on his website that could prove useful to you. You can also download his eBook “How To Know If Your Dreams Are God’s Dreams” for free by simply subscribing to his weekly inspirational “Soulfood” eLetter.

You could also try attending retreats or seminars that are aimed to help you discover what your “life purpose” is. Knowing what one is “meant to do” in life will help one keep up a hopeful attitude even during difficult and challenging times.

To grow one’s hope, one must also try to always look on the “bright side” or for the “silver lining behind every cloud.” Also, despite the chaos and crime that abounds in our society, let us also not lose hope in our fellow men – let’s try to see the good in every person, and be kind to all we meet.


3. Grow your health.
As the saying goes, “health is wealth,” and most people can probably confirm that this is indeed true. In this time and age where falling ill means dealing with consultation fees, hospital bills, medical test payments and medicine expenses, among other things, being healthy should really be something everyone strives for.

For this New Year, why not try something that will help improve, not just your health, but the whole family’s as well? For starters, you could try eating more naturally and organically. If you don’t already know the benefits of going organic, click here to read five of them. We’ve previously listed ten organic food sources for your convenience,

You may also want to start your own fitness regime, and finally lose those extra pounds of weight you’ve been complaining about for the longest time. Some fitness routines and programs previously featured on the SP site include running, boxing, Plana Forma, dance and TRX suspension training. For moms, you may also want to take certain tests to make sure you’re in the pink of health.

Of course, growing your health is not just about being physically healthy, but being emotionally healthy too. For many, it may also mean being spiritually healthy. One way we can be more emotionally healthy is to learn to forgive others for whatever hurt they have caused us. Mothers who work outside the home may also need to learn how to deal with separation anxiety and “mommy guilt,” and how to balance work with family time.

For married couples, it would do well to know the sources of stress in marriage, and, whenever stress results in fights, the rules for fighting fair. Also, there IS such a thing as an amazing marriage, and ways on how to achieve such – you just need to be open to new ideas and learn along the way.

For those who wish to nurture their spiritual health, there are numerous programs and groups that can cater to your needs. Some people may wish to go on retreats or recollections (Lent is a good time to do so for most Catholics); others may prefer attending parenting and family seminars. The key thing to remember is this: our souls and spirits need pampering too!

To be 100% healthy, we must consider all aspects of our being: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

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4. Grow your finances.
The New Year may bring with it lots of financial obligations, which are undoubtedly a cause of worry to many parents. To get off on the right start, find out how you can build your family’s financial foundation. Learn how to manage your finances, and adopt good spending and budgeting habits.

If you’re a young couple (like myself and my husband), you’d also do well to avoid the money mistakes stated in this article. If you’re expecting a new baby, take into consideration the costs you’ll be incurring and save for them accordingly. If you already have kids, it’s most likely they received a lot of cash gifts during the Christmas season, so you may also want to invest that money wisely.

Other ways to grow your finances would be:
• Learn how to be more “tipid” (these tips from real-life moms may be of help).
• If you own a credit card (and most likely, you own at least one), learn how to use it to your advantage, and not vice versa.
• Learn about the four important funds your family should be investing in.
• Find out how to save money on household expenses.
• From an early age, teach your kids how to save money too.


Last, but certainly not the least, to be a better “you”:

5. Grow your faith.
This year, no matter how “religious” (or not) you may think you are, it wouldn’t hurt to start building a relationship with the Almighty (whoever your concept of the Almighty may be). You may even want to encourage your kids to do the same.

One way to grow in faith is to start being more grateful for the live you’ve been blessed with. Every day, try listing down ten things you are thankful for on that particular day. (If you don’t know where to start, you may want to see what other SP moms and dads are grateful for in our 2011 Gratitude Gallery) Making gratitude a daily attitude is something not only parents will benefit from; children would also do well by learning to be grateful.

Learning how to be humble is also another way we can grow in faith. When we are aware that there are always people who will be better, brighter and “more beautiful” than us, we learn to acknowledge the importance and value of others. Being humble also makes us more open to realizing that we need a bigger Someone (i.e. God) in our lives to guide us.

As parents, we are doubly challenged when it comes to growing in faith, as we are also largely responsible for how our kids will turn out to be. Raising morally upright children, whether we care to admit it or not, means we need to include God and faith in our daily lives.

Also, to grow in faith, we need to learn how to detach ourselves from material things, and to teach our kids to do the same. After all, at the end of our lives, we won’t be able to bring anything from this world along with us. Putting our priorities in place will help us lead more carefree, relaxed lives in the long run – because we know that our ultimate destination is NOT on this earth, but in a far better, more beautiful place.

Of course, these are just tips to guide you on how to become a better version of yourself during the year. Discovering the “whys” behind wanting to improve yourself, and the decisions and actions you make to do so, ultimately lie in your hands. Whatever choices you make, we hope 2012 will be an even more blessed, beautiful and bountiful year for us all. Happy New Year, everyone!

 

Photo from flickr creative commons