How To Beat the Holiday Blues

As soon as the “ber” months roll in, we are giddy with the prospect of planning the perfect Christmas. But the closer we get to the holidays—with all the shopping, decorating, and entertaining we have to do—thoughts of peace and joy fly out the window and an unwelcome guest dampens the festive mood: depression, also known as the holiday blues. 

 

Blues clues

The words “depression” and “sadness” may be used interchangeably by non-medical folk, but according to Paul Lee, M.D., head of psychiatry at the Manila Doctors Hospital, there’s a set of criteria that distinguishes depression from ordinary sadness. “Everyone can feel sad, but when the low mood lasts for more than two weeks and begins to affect all aspects of your life, you may be experiencing a major depression.”

The symptoms of depression are many. Dr. Lee lists five to watch for: “If a feeling of gloom and doom comes with disturbed sleep patterns, changes in eating patterns, a loss of interest in your usual activities, an inability to find pleasure in your hobbies, or changes in your social nteractions, you are having a bout of depression.”

But why does it seem to rear its ugly head especially during the holidays? Dr. Lee explains, “Christmas interrupts the normal way we conduct our lives. We try to perceive it as a happy occasion but because of the expectations, it becomes stressful.” It turns out unreasonable expectations in relationships, finances, and physical demands can trigger the blues. 

 

Un-happy holidays

Relationships can be a source of stress, with tensions often heightened during the holidays. Existing family misunderstandings can intensify, most especially among members who don’t see eye-to-eye and are forced to socialize. Dr. Lee expounds, “Imposed family interactions can get quite hairy, most especially with family you dislike. But you can take control of the situation. Don’t be shy about turning down an invitation. If left with no choice, show up and make a quick getaway after 30 minutes.” 

What happens when one is dealing with the absence of a loved one? “It’s okay to feel sad. Accept it. Share your feelings with loved ones and keep a hopeful outlook by counting your blessings. It’s easier said than done, but it’s a magical first-aid,” says Dr. Lee. 

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Playing Santa

Finances are under stress during the holidays because of added expenses from gifts, travel, food, and entertainment. If you think that spending way beyond your means now to buy that perfect gift for those on your Christmas list and worrying about payments later is perfectly okay, you’re setting yourself for some really stressful times ahead. “This is why it can be extra stressful for those who have lots of godchildren—they feel they have to top last year’s or find the perfect gift. Again, it’s expectations,” says Dr. Lee. Don’t let perfection pressure you when playing Santa. Be realistic and plan ahead. 

 

Party pooped

The physical demands of the holidays can also leave one exhausted, increasing the stress. “Christmas is celebrated with parties one after the other, shopping errands, cooking chores, etc. They all add up to one’s daily tasks,” says Dr. Lee. You don’t need to attend all those parties. You don’t need to cook everything; have a potluck party instead. And you don’t need to wrap all those gifts in one sitting. Divide the task according to date or ask for help. Make time for yourself so you don’t tire yourself out.   
Beyond the stressThere also could be other triggers for your mood to take a nosedive. “A person can be vulnerable to mood disorders based on genetic, biological, and psychological factors depending on medical history, age, stage of life, and health. It could be the hormonal changes in premenstrual yndrome or your outlook in life. It could be an illness, age-related brain changes, and more. All these come into play when pinpointing the cause of depression.” In these cases, a professional opinion can be helpful so get the proper medical treatment.  

Finding comfort and joyMrs. C* knows she won’t be her usual merry self this Christmas. First, her marriage just fell apart and she’s been occasionally depressed since the separation. Second, the holidays bring memories of happier times, intensifying feelings of sadness. “There were weeks when I would go through crying spells, wrestle with feelings of guilt, and just be grumpy to anyone who happens to be in my way. I know it’s going to be hard this year, but I’m prepared and I know what to do next,” she spills. 
Dr. Lee says that this self-awareness is an important first step in banishing the holiday blues. “Knowing oneself and the life stage one is going through helps deal with the problem. Try not to add any more stress and do something constructive about it.” 

Mrs. C seems to be on the right track. When she begins to feel the blues, she keeps busy. She dotes on her 13-year-old son, Marky*. She likes to putter about in the kitchen, preparing delicious meals. She frequently hangs out with friends, and often entertains herself with a book, television, or social media. But what she’s most thankful for is having a sister and mother who regularly check in on her. “Their phone calls help keep me sane. Their timing is impeccable—always calling the moment I need to talk about my problems.” 

But not everyone has a strong family support system like she does. That’s why Dr. Lee strongly advises one to seek professional help. “If you don’t have someone to talk to, see a psychiatrist, counselor, priest, or a family physician. They can help you. And you need not spend a lot. Visit a government hospital for a free consultation. Don’t wait for depression to consume your life.” 

The holiday blues can have serious repercussions. “Studies have shown that depressed individuals have higher rates of hypertension, are more sickly, have increased risks for certain cancers, are more accident-prone and susceptible to substance abuse. The most dreaded complication is irreversible—suicide,” admits Dr. Lee.  

So take control of stress and the holidays. Make this Christmas about peace and joy. With a little positive thinking, you may find that you’ll enjoy this year more than you thought you could. 

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Holiday mood uppers:

Paul Lee, M.D., head of psychiatry at the Manila Doctors Hospital, gives his list of habits to lift your flagging holiday mood.  

1. Keep your healthy habits. Stress is no excuse to skip exercise, abandon healthy eating habits, or get an ample amount of rest. Exercise releases endorphins that help with maintaining a good mood. 

2. Don’t skip meals to keep your blood sugar levels even. Try to get enough shut-eye so you don’t have to go through the day in a zombie-like daze. It’s Christmas after all, not Halloween!

3. Skip the alcohol. Wine, beer, and cocktails can make you feel giddy for a few minutes but they can dampen your good spirits as the party goes on. Alcohol can exaggerate feelings of depression so if you’re feeling down, don’t make it worse. 

4. Soak in some morning sun. Start your day right with a walk in the morning sun. Sunlight is said to help regulate hormones responsible for good mood. It also clears your head, improving cognitive function. Aim for safe sunlight from 7 to 10 AM and 4 to 6 PM. 

5. It’s okay to say “No.” Go ahead, channel your inner toddler and say it! Turn down invitations and requests if you feel like you’re over-committing yourself, no reason required. Delegate chores and errands if you feel you’re spreading yourself too thin. Say “yes” to a healthy, well-rested you.  

6. Find me-time. Find time each day to clear your head and center yourself. It can be as short as a 15-minute walk around the neighborhood, listening to soothing music, or chatting with a friend on Facebook.  

7. Forgive yourself for being less than perfect. Planning and dealing with the holidays is stressful enough, so forget about perfection. Planned on making homemade cookies for your close friends? Store-bought will do just fine. Temper the demands on yourself so you can enjoy a truly merry Christmas. 

A kiss from your sweet child is an instant mood-lifter.

Photography by tommerton2010 via flickr creative commons