Paskong Pinoy is truly like no other. Here, Filipinos abroad turn misty-eyed, waxing nostalgic at memories of Christmases past: the chilly morning walks to Simbang Gabi, the puto bumbong and tsokolate, the Christmas carols, and the hearty Noche Buena of ham, quezo de bola, and sweet spaghetti.
Missing home
“You just never get used to it,” shares May Reyes, head nurse at the Al Qassimi Hospital-Sharjah in Dubai, and a single mother of two. “The homesickness will always be there. As a mom, namimiss ko yung pagluluto ng pang-Noche Buena, waking up my kids for the mass, dressing them up, and seeing them shrieking with delight over their Christmas presents,” she reminisces. “Now all I can do is send them toys and money for clothes and food. Buti na lang may Internet. I can chat with my kids and see them on the webcam,” she adds. “Since my kids live with my parents, I am assured that they are well taken care of and that they are taught the same values like I was. My kids look up to their lolo and lola as well as my other siblings for guidance, comfort, and attention..
“It is a common practice among Filipino absentee parents to relegate upbringing to the nearest of kin, in this case, either the grandparents, aunts and uncles, or even the yayas or caregivers,” observes Augustus Añonuevo, a social psychologist and author of Coming Home: Women, Migration & Reintegration. “This somehow assuages the guilt of the parents and gives them a feeling of security that their children are properly raised. However, extended families, surrogates, and material things can never compensate for the emotional care and support each of us basically needs. The absence of a parent during the holidays is certainly not easy to deal with.”
A study conducted by ATIKHA, an NGO involved in psychosocial intervention for OFW children, reveals that the kids either feel longing or the opposite, which is alienation from their parents. This is something that may pose behavioral problems in the future.
Wendell Gaa, a culture and information officer of the Department of Foreign Affairs who is based in New York, illustrates a different picture of Christmas from his own first taste of it abroad.
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Read on for more stories from Pinoys celebrating Christmas abroad.
“I remember seeing New York’s fantastic Rockefeller Center for the first time, walking through this place as a young boy was simply beyond belief.” He says that if New York City’s main attractions are the magnificent lights and amazing winter sights, here at home, it is the family tradition of sharing as well as the endless parties and reunions.
These, he misses whenever he’s away for the holidays, and something he wishes his nephews and nieces would also experience.
“Being with your family and knowing there’s a whole bunch of people who care about you gives a person a profound sense of comfort and confidence, a tremendous sense of self-esteem,” he adds. In America, where the culture is “to each his own,” it is no surprise most kids grow up to be aloof and somehow lacking in sensitivity and warmth.
Holidays abroad
“Christmas abroad is definitely different from the way it is spent at home,” shares Mariflor Utitco-Espartero, a sterile technician at the Mc Indoe Surgical Center in the United Kingdom, and mom to a one-year-old daughter. “Here in the UK, it’s just a one-day event: You have dinner with friends, open gifts, then go to bed. It’s more like a day off, a chance for us to get more sleep and shop in a mall-wide sale the day after Christmas. Back home, it’s an opportunity to spend time with friends and relatives.
”What made it memorable was the fact that it was the first time she had taken part in a multi-cultural holiday fest, what with the gathering of all her housemates composed of a Lithuanian couple, a Slovak, and a Tanzanian. “It felt good to be able to share with them the true meaning of God.s birth and tell them of our traditions, like gathering for Christmas dinner and praying before meals. We even introduced them to videoke,” she says.
Fond remembrance
“Food, laughter, and merry-making! That’s what sets our Christmas apart from all Christmases I.ve had here,” shares Marita Moaje-Villones, a marketing assistant for Pinoy Europe Orbit Communications in Italy. “Even though Italy is a Catholic country, the way we celebrate Christmas is unique in the sense that you can feel the family ties, the closeness. Dito ‘di uso ‘yung mga namamasko, walang ninong, ninang. So for my kids, I try to inculcate in them our local values by teaching them pagmamano when there are older relatives or friends around. And since they were born and baptized here, most of their godparents are Filipino friends of ours.”
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Read on for more stories from Pinoys celebrating Christmas abroad.
She adds, “Back home, even if there’s very little to go around, there’s warmth and genuine joy, and that is something we truly miss, something you can never exchange for anything.”
John Saludo, an Information Technologist at LG Electronics in Nigeria, remembers caroling with friends as a child. “Nangongolekta kami ng mga tansan, kinakabit sa alambre, .yun na yung cymbals namin. We also had huge tin milk cans as our drums. Those were the things I wish my kids would experience. Too bad, we don’t do things like that anymore, especially where we live now.” Christmas in Lagos means celebrating it with the Pinoy community where one pays a certain membership fee.
The designated committee takes care of the food and the program. The party, held in some rented quarter or hall, lasts until the next day. The men play cards, while the women banter and the kids play together. This somehow relives the Pinoy tradition of gathering and sharing like a family.
Basta't magkakasama
“Filipinos are intrinsically closeknit,” says Rene Borromeo, a sociologist who recently conducted a study on OFW families for the Ford Foundation. .We love to congregate. Any occasion is a cause for celebration, more so when you’re away. It’s innate in us, stemming from an old tradition of having extended families and our value system of pakikisama, utang na loob, and the like,” Borromeo says. This strong sense of kinship is what makes the Pinoy resilient.
Borromeo adds, “His strong sense of family even in the person of his kababayan, serves as a buffer for homesickness and loneliness. Pinoys thrive on kinship and family ties. They bring out their innate joie de vivre, basta.t magkakasama-sama..happiness in togetherness...
You can talk with Pinoys from across the globe, and they all have this to say: They may bring with them the local flavor of spending the holidays in whatever part of the world they are, but nothing beats the fun of a true blue Pinoy Christmas!
Photo from flickr.com
SOURCES:
● Rene Borromeo, sociologist and consultant, SCHEMA Konsult, Inc., Ortigas, Pasig City
● Augustus Añonuevo, social psychologist and professor, Department of Sociology, University of the Philippines Los Baños, Laguna
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