6 Tips to Motivating your Child in Sports and the Arts

Your child may be an Olympian-in-the-making, but that doesn’t mean you should be extra hard on him. Here are cues to keep your possibly overbearing techniques in check.

1. Be all ears.
“If you want to teach something to your child, then you should be able to really listen to him. Teaching, for me, is not forcing it on the kid. He must be excited to learn,” says Capoeira coach Alessandro de Azevedo Soares Coqueiro, founder of Escola Brasileira de Capoeira (EBC) Philippines. If there’s no thrill to learn, what’s the point?

Chris Tiu, former captain of the Smart-Gilas Pilipinas basketball team and now a member of the Rain or Shine team in the PBA, agrees. “Parents should allow their kids to try and experience different activities and sports, and then find out which one they’re interested in and where they [excel]. You can guide them up to a certain level, but at the end of the day, it’s really up to your child.”

2. Always put the interests of your child first.
“Sometimes, it’s the parents who really want their child to dance and not the child herself,” admits ballet coach Patricia del Rosario.

3. Be fair.
Football mentor Paolo Mallari says that bullying your child into a particular sport only creates unnecessary tension in your relationship. Know when you’ve crossed the line and apologize.

4. Do not blame defeat on your child.
“A sports psychologist once said that after you play the game, visualize it in your head, analyze what you did wrong, and then move on,” says Tiu. It’s not healthy for an athlete to replay negative thoughts.

“My parents remind me there’s more to life than basketball,”says Tiu. “My mom would always tell me that what’s important is you’re happy with your life; basketball is just a facet of that. It’s okay. Move on. There’s always next time.”

5. Respect your child's limitations.
“Everyone is different. Learn what works best for each child,” advises triathlon coach Ani de Leon-Brown.

6. Let kids be kids.
“Kids listen every now and then, but it can get frustrating because they just want to kick the ball around and have fun,” says James Younghusband, midfielder of the Philippine national football team and director of The Younghusband Football Academy. “When they get older, that’s when football becomes more technical, more detailed, more tactical. [Now that] they’re still young, they should just have fun playing games.”

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The cream of the croptell us about their passion, and what it takes to excel:

Lisa Macuja-Elizalde
Prima ballerina

“Ballet keeps a child occupied and physically fit. It teaches her correct posture, balance, and grace. It gives her confidence especially when she has to go on stage, and this is confidence she could carry until she’s grown.

“Ballet gives you discipline because you have to come to class at a certain time or have a certain hairdo. You stick to a regimen that will prepare your instrument—your body—for a great performance. You eat right, and it may mean cutting down on carbs, and you sleep early so you are well-rested the next day. You skip parties and drinking or smoking.

“Ballet ensures character development because you have to push your body. Sometimes, you are humiliated by the teacher and you have to deal with it. Dancers are performing athletes. Ballet trains you for life.”

Phil Younghusband
Midfielder, Philippine National Football Team and Chairman of the Younghusband Football Academy

"James and I met a lot of people in our lives through football, and we never thought we’d be friends with them. We learned a lot of things from these people, such as different techniques and styles.

“Football is also all about self-expression and decision making. You make decisions and deal with the consequences. Just like in real life, when you make a decision and then lose the ball, you have to adapt to the consequence.”

James Younghusband
Midfielder, Philippine National Football Team and Director of the Younghusband Football Academy

“Football helps [children] express themselves. When they’re happy, they can just run around and have fun. When they’re angry, they can kick the ball harder. They also learn about teamwork through fun drills like relays.”

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Chris Tiu on managing sports and school

How I got into basketball
“When I was about four years old, I’d see my parents play basketball in the park and join inter-village sports tournaments. Every Sunday night, our relatives would play against each other just for fun. It became our pastime, part of our exercise and bonding.

“I started my formal training in basketball when I was in grade four. I was never really encouraged to play competitively because my parents were afraid that my grades might suffer. But the coach convinced my mom to let me try out for the Smart Basketeers Philippines. I did and I got into the team.I was nine years old.”

Balancing B-ball and academics
“My parents were very strict with my studies, but when they saw that I had the initiative to strive to get good grades, they loosened up a bit. I became grade-conscious.

“They were also hands-on. They’d check my homework and monitor my grades. It became the norm for me to get good grades.

“My parents were also very supportive. My mom would always watch my games every Sunday. She’d drive me to the court, and we would pray the rosary going to the game and back. Dad was still playing in the alumni league then, but he’d watch my games whenever he could.”

Humility in victory
“My parents remind me to be humble through their actions — the way they deal with other people and the way they carry themselves. They don’t brag about their kids.”

His secrets to success? “I got my work ethic from my dad and my mom who made a lot of sacrifices for our family. Even if Dad is very hardworking, he still made sure he ate with us at the dinner table.

“I developed a competitive drive over the years. I’ve always wanted to be the best I can be.”

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Image from mom.me