“Amazing Grace” Series: The Greater Scheme of Things

Today, Good Friday, Christians all over the world (and even many non-Christians) recall and ponder upon the painful events leading up to the crucifixion and death of Jesus. We are blessed because we know the true ending to that story — that, on the third day, Jesus rose again, and conquered death and sin forever.

(Note: This inspirational article is reprinted with permission from the blog of Maybelle Bangayan-Ti, http://mmmamahugs.blogspot.com/. It was originally posted in February of 2010 and has been edited and updated chronologically for the purpose of this article. Maybelle, 35 years old, currently works part time as a content writer/marketing consultant for My Father's House, a home for abandoned children. She is happily married to Ken, with whom she has two children: Sophie, 6, and Gavin, 2 years old.) 

We all have big hopes and dreams for our future when we’re young. Back in high school, I remember clearly telling my classmates I would never choose to be “just” a housewife. Yet, as the time came for us to apply for college, I had no idea what course I wanted and what career I’d definitely pursue for the rest of my life. In the end, I decided, “I will be a research analyst who will be respected in the financial world.” It was a career I knew my parents would be proud of. 

Little did I realize then that it was not what I really wanted. I graduated from college with hardly any passion for my course. I slowly sought to discover other facets of who I was. With my degree in Applied Economics (dropping my double major in Finance), I chose to be — to the surprise of many — a full-time mission worker for my Catholic community instead. The choice seemed perfect for me as something in me had always longed to help shepherd and mentor people.

Even with the heart of a mission worker, I dreamed big. I sought ways to go into business and still be a source of light to the people who would work for me. I had this notion that my parents would be proud if I went into business, and I realized that going into social entrepreneurship would allow me to do that and still fulfill my dream of making a difference in the world.   

 

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I decided to shift to the corporate world and started working as a merchandiser in the hope of learning more about the retail industry and, eventually, setting up my own social enterprise. In 2001, I was where I thought I wanted to be: learning a lot from a stable merchandising job; active in a spiritual community; going out on dates; keeping fit; and spending time with my family. Life was just the way I thought it should be. Then, I discovered I had breast cancer.  

I quickly learned that I needed a mastectomy and chemotherapy. I was going to lose a breast, shed off most of my hair, and deal with days of needle-pricking, unbearable nausea, weakness, and some months of emotional turmoil from the discomfort I’d be feeling.   

Despite all of this, I knew God had other plans for me. The direction of the wind had completely changed. I had to let go and let God steer the boat of my life. As my mom said, “It’s like you get on a roller coaster and you relax, let go of the handles, and let God take you on the ride of your life.” Little did I realize that those changes would happen so quickly - much more quickly than I had ever expected.

Just one day after I got home from the hospital following my mastectomy, the man I had been dating came to my house to tell me how much he loved me - that, instead of finding himself veering away from me because of my cancer, he found himself all the more wanting to be with me on my difficult journey.  

It didn’t matter to him that undergoing chemotherapy meant a possibility of infertility on my part. It didn’t matter to him that my body had been altered and was incomplete and that I’d lose all my hair. He still wanted me and loved me despite it all. God actually used my cancer to affirm the genuine love that was growing between us.  

Through cancer, too, my priorities in life changed. It’s amazing what a terrible disease can do to you. You begin to see what is truly essential in life and chisel away the things you can really live without. I left my job to rest and reflect on where God was leading me next. This was the beginning of my introspective search for what is truly meaningful in my life.

To other people, it may seem like God took away so much from me when I was stricken with breast cancer. The truth is I actually gained so much more because of it.

 

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Over ten years ago, I had no idea what the rest of my life would be like. Would I still ever get married? Would I be able to have my own children at all? Would I still have that chance to say that I have made my contribution to help make this world a better place before I die?

And yet… 

Today, I am a cancer survivor, free from any traces of the disease.

Today, I am married to wonderfully good man who shares my values in life.

Today, we not only have one, but two beautiful children – a loving, bright, and cheerful girl who will be turning seven this month AND an adorable, healthy little boy. 

Despite the physical challenge caused by the mastectomy, I was able to breastfeed our daughter for three years and eight months.  Our son is also getting the best nourishment from nature’s best milk.

For years I had hopes of being able to say I’m able to do something important. I thought I had to be out there, in the limelight somehow, to be able to say that I am making a contribution to the world. Now, I am what I once would have looked down on as “just a housewife.”

I am a stay-at-home (and, most recently, work-at-home) mom by choice - this is where I am meant to be right now, while our children are in their most crucial, formative years.

I embark on a journey of discovering how we can best help our children grow in physical, emotional, and spiritual health, that they may have the confidence to discover their gifts and pursue their desires that God has planted deep within their hearts.

Photo by yopuz via flickr creative commons