10 Pointers on Keeping your Kids Safe

Fear would envelope any parent with the thought of the dangers that lurk beyond the confines of their homes. We try to teach our kids to be independent yet we can't help but also worry about their safety. The news doesn’t help either - stories of kidnapping and scams can be terrifying, as well as modus operandi narratives, a common one being where kidnappers attempt to infiltrate the household with a planted maid, driver or gardener, then wait for an opportune time to abduct the kid. Some children are kidnapped in malls when parents aren’t watching. Some try a softer approach by first trying to build an acquaintance with the child until his trust is gained, then proceed to lure him away. A young child who is not forewarned properly may be easily swayed towards going away willingly with his kidnappers.  

The most common reason for kidnapping a child is to extort money from the parents, but more frightening motives exist: kidnapping for prostitution, selling a child to people looking to adopt, using kids for medical research, using them to beg on the streets as part of an organized syndicate, and the list goes on.  

How can we diminish the constant fear?  According to Bert Tagamolila, former Assistant Vice President for Security at Ayala Land Inc and currently an executive consultant at security consulting firm ECI, in his almost 40 years of experience in the field, he has observed the behavior of criminals who prey on children, so he advises parents to:  

1. Get to know your children and his friends.
Know who they are with when they are out of the house. Get the phone numbers of their friends and their friends’ parents. Invite them over at your house for a simple get-together to establish good relations and get to know their family background better.

2. Vet the persons who are entrusted with the care of your children.
Make sure that the nanny, driver and other members of your domestic staff are all trustworthy. Always keep a watchful eye. Keep complete records of your domestic staff including updated photos, home addresses, and character references.  

Work with your child’s school administration to establish a process of identifying your child’s fetcher, if none is yet in place. The school guards must ensure that your child is fetched by you or someone you assign, upon presentation of a school-issued identification card.  

3. Teach your child what he should do when he is approached by a stranger.
Parents are always conscious of teaching their child to be polite – which is good – but this makes it easier for strangers to begin a friendly conversation with your child. Tell your child not to give any personal information about himself, at any cost.

Recently, the rule “Don’t talk to strangers” has been expanded to include people known to you who ask you to do things that are against what your parents teach you, or someone – even a school official - who asks you to do something you feel uncomfortable about. Statistics show that a large number of crimes have been committed by people whom the child knows and trusts.

Emphasize that accepting food from strangers is a no-no, as these may be laced with drugs. Teach your child that nice-looking people can be misleading and turn out to be not nice at all. Looks can be deceiving so it is best not to stereotype people and trust them based on looks. A stranger is still a stranger.  

4. Never leave your child in a car, a stroller or an area where you cannot see him at all times.  
Children, especially young ones, should never be left unattended even for just a minute.  

[previous|page|next]

5. Have your child practice saying the words “No”, “Stop” and “Help” in a loud, confident tone.  
Explain to your child that your voice can get the attention of people who may be able to help. Another method you could employ is to have your child bring a whistle and blow it to attract attention when he is being harassed in a public place.

6. Prepare a plan of action should a child get lost.  
Teach him what to do and who to approach. Role play certain situations – a stranger engaging him in conversation, a knock on the door at home, realizing he can’t see mommy in the mall, someone attempting to convince him to go somewhere to help find a lost puppy. He should also know what to do in case of emergencies. It’s a great idea to show him safe places he can seek help from – mall security, cashier in the store, a church. When my daughter was four years old, she got lost in a big toy store. I was thankful she approached the cashier who helped her look for me. The cashier also contacted the police so it was a bit embarrassing but I was impressed with the cashier’s concern for my child and the police’s quick response.  

7. Don’t give potential kidnappers an edge.  
Avoid having your child dress in clothing with their names on it, as kids have the tendency to trust people who call them by names. Similarly, if your kids are active online, prohibit them from posting too much information that kidnappers may use to their advantage, such as their class schedule, where they go to school, etc.

8. Know that there is safety in numbers.  
A mom I know who has several children says that it is often a challenge for her to take all her kids to the mall because of their sheer number. She says it helps to have her children walk in pairs so each one always has a buddy.  It also helps to avoid crowds so she makes it a point to go to malls in the morning.  

9. Secure your household.
Instruct your household help not to open doors for strangers. Teach them what to do in case of emergencies. Share with them the modus operandi of syndicates who call homes with false stories of the parents getting into an accident and needing money. Household help are then instructed to get money or jewelry from the master’s bedroom and surrender it to a messenger who will come over to claim it. Remind your driver to make sure that the car’s gas tank is always half way full.  You don’t want your child stranded in an unsafe area because the car ran out of gas.

Develop a rapport with neighbors.  They can be valuable allies when you need help.  
 
10. Be aware that a family quarrel about child custody is an alert by itself.  
Quarrels about inheritance, for example, might be cause for drastic actions of some family members. Be aware about possible reasons relatives might have to warrant them using your child to get what they want from you. Be also mindful of family members with bad habits and addictions they could not independently support.  

We can’t be ready for all kinds of scenarios but following these tips can help keep your child safe. Talk to your child often and tell him that he could talk to you about anything, especially when there is something bothering him. When they talk, listen very well, as he might be unknowingly alerting you to potential danger.  

Continue to teach your child the value of independence but include strong reminders about the importance of being safe and protected. As Tagamolila says, “Child security and safety can be summed up with ABC – Always Be Careful”.

 

Photo by Bigod from flickr creative commons