Being a first-time mom is like joining a reality TV show -- you don’t get to eat, or sleep, or bathe properly; strangers judge your every move; and at times, you feel as if the reward isn’t worth all the effort. Worry not; here are some ways you can cope with the craziness that comes with caring for a baby.
On Mommy-time
1. Limit visitors
“When I had my first baby, my husband and I made the mistake of allowing friends and family to visit us at the hospital. I say ‘mistake’ because it was really hard to smile and be pleasant when I was in pain, lacking sleep, and trying to get a colicky baby to latch. I hardly got any rest then. With our second baby, we knew better. Hospital visits were strictly for immediate family only. We asked friends to come visit us at home only after a few weeks, so that my baby and I had time to settle down.” — Jacqueline Tan, writer; mom to David, 5, and Kobe, 3
2. Let it out
“Cry if you need to. Admitting you are overwhelmed doesn’t make you any less worthy of being a mom. Getting it out of your system can be therapeutic— much better than keeping it all bottled up inside.” — Abigail Falcon, yoga instructor; mom to Raj, 3
3. Let go—for now
“For the first two months at least, let the room be messy, stop watching the clock, and subsist on takeout every few days or so. Your priority is your baby, and the only way you would survive is if you let go of the little things.” — Jill Chan-Sia, educator; mom to Evan, 4, and Elise, 2
On time management
4. Rethink bathtime
“When my kids were able to sit up already, I took them in the shower with me and kept them busy in the tub with their toys while I bathed. I also cooked meals in big batches, and kept half in the freezer. So on days when I was too tired to cook, I still had something to serve for dinner.” — Rheea Hermoso-Prudente, freelance writer, mom to Raine, 5, and Breeze, 3
On parenting styles
5. Pick a role model
“Find a friend or relative whose parenting style you wish to emulate and let her be your main source of answers to baby-care questions (aside from your pediatrician, of course). If you ask 10 different parents the same question, you’d most likely get as many different answers, leaving you even more confused. For your own peace of mind, limit your scope of inquiry.” — Allesi Fortunato, artist; mom to Giselle, 4
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On breastfeeding
6. Buy a boppy
“A nursing or Boppy pillow makes breastfeeding much more comfortable.” — Chikee Roxas, stay-at-home mom to Frankie, 3, and Sandie, 1
7. Room in
“Have your baby room in with you at the hospital. Contrary to what others say, you will get less rest if your baby is in the nursery because you will constantly have to get up to breastfeed him. When you are together in your room, you can cuddle, soothe, breastfeed, and bond with him all you want. And when you get home, you are already past the getting-to-know-each-other stage.” — Mary Grace Delos Santos, IT consultant; mom to Hans, 4
8. Get a bosom buddy
“A good, certified lactation consultant is a great investment because she makes breastfeeding much easier for you and your baby. She will teach you the different breastfeeding positions, give tips on how to increase your milk production, and administer relaxing lactation massages, too. See one regularly during your first few months of nursing, and the rest will be a breeze.” — Salome Santos-Perez, mom to Riley, 5
9. Don’t worry
Remember: babies are stronger than they appear “Babies may be delicate in some respects, but they are quite resilient in others. During my first few weeks of breastfeeding, I kept worrying that my newborn would starve to death because I felt he wasn’t getting enough breast milk. My pediatrician assured me that the milk would come and that I shouldn’t worry because my baby has fat deposits in him to tide him over in the meantime.” — Clarisse Morillo, administrative officer; mom to Jordan, 3
On baby care
10. Trash the rash
“Don’t wait until your baby develops a rash before you use zinc-oxide creams. I started applying cream on my son’s diaper area from day one until the time he stopped wearing nappies, and he never got a rash. Prevention is really better than cure.” — Patricia Locsin, entrepreneur; mom to Peter, 5
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Day to day
11. Put up another ‘branch’
“If you know you will be leaving your baby often at a certain place (i.e. your mom’s house while you are at work), stock up on the basic necessities such as diapers, cotton balls, wet wipes, even pumped breast milk at that place. This way, you don’t have to lug everything everywhere.” — Ann Dee-Santiago, interior designer; mom to Daphne, 1
12. Welcome wireless
“A wireless landline is handy. There were times I attempted to take a bath while my baby slept, but the ringing of the telephone often woke her up! Now I take the wireless phone with me to the bathroom so I can answer calls right away. I also keep it beside me while I’m breastfeeding; I no longer have to get up to answer it.” — Cheryl Hao-Rivera, stay-at-home mom to Lucas, 1
13. Pack extras for yourself as well
“Remember to include an extra change of clothes for yourself in your baby’s diaper bag in case of emergency spitups and the like.” — Lynn Abella, makeup artist, mom to Jade, 4, and Allan, 2
14. Be smart about your trips
“Heading out? Choose a quiet, uncrowded, baby-friendly place for newborns so baby won’t get stressed.” — Jessica Valdez-Soong, stay-at-home mom to Yutomo, 4
15. Wear your baby
“One thing that has helped me is the SaYa, a cloth-type carrier that allows you to wear your baby in many ways. It is not bulky, unlike other carriers. With the SaYa, I am able to move around with my daughter. I get to cuddle my baby, who fits snugly in it, so I don’t have to worry about safety. Now that my daughter is heavier, I appreciate that it supports my back so I am able to carry her without strain. Once at the mall, I nursed her in it as we strolled (it also serves as a breastfeeding cover). She fell asleep in it afterwards.” — Jennifer Caspe-Cocuaco, entrepreneur; mom to Mishca, 2
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On toys
16. Don’t buy a lot
Babies will find anything amusing: remote control, Tupperware, anything! So there’s no need to go on a shopping spree at an upscale toy store. Your baby might just end up playing with the box instead of the actual toy in it!” — Jodie Palma, web developer; mom to Santi, 4
On baby's development
17. Don’t compare
“Every baby is different, and each one develops at his own pace. If your friend’s baby is already sleeping through the night at three months while yours still demands to be fed every few hours, don’t fret. If your two-year-old nephew is tall for his age and your son is just of average height, don’t worry! Comparing will make your more stressed because it is unrealistic. If your pediatrician isn’t worried, neither should you be.” — Farrah Copino, sales manager; mom to Jaime, 3
On sleeping
18. Expand your repertoire
“Don’t limit yourself to lullabyes. My son loves songs by Barry Manilow and Jose Mari Chan. Sometimes, even just making shushing sounds soothes him; I guess it recreates the sounds he heard while he was still in my womb.”
— Ana Stilo, bank manager; mom to Andie, 2
19. Head a sleep camp
“I trained my kids to sleep on their own by dressing them down, turning off all the lights in the room, and not talking to them (not even a whisper of encouragement for them to sleep). Both my kids learned quickly that darkness meant sleeping time and daylight meant playtime. Whenever it’s time to sleep, I turn off all the lights in the room and stay silent. They nod off by themselves. This gives me more sleeping hours at night." — Dez Yu-Del Rosario, product manager; mom to Quad, 4, and Andie, 1
20. Try everything
“My colicky son couldn’t be soothed by just rocking him to sleep. I eventually discovered that he’d fall asleep whenever I’d carry him up and down the stairs. It was exhausting, but, hey, whatever works! Plus, it was good exercise for me. So think out of the box. I know someone whose baby had to hear the hum of the vacuum cleaner before falling asleep!” — Sandra Osorio; mom to Jayden, 5
What’s the sweetest thing someone did for you?
Caring for a newborn is exhausting, so it’s always a treat when someone goes the extra mile to make things easier for you.
“Between working and breastfeeding, I hardly have time to do anything else! I’m lucky my husband has taken over cooking chores. Every morning and evening, he asks me what I want to eat, and then takes care of preparing them.” — Ann Dee-Santiago, interior designer; mom to Daphne, 1
“When my eldest was just a few months old, we had some guests over for dinner. One of our guy friends brought a date. She gave me tiny jars of moisturizer, cleanser, toner, and eye cream ‘because everyone thinks of the baby but no one usually thinks of the mommy.’ And while I don’t mind getting stuff for the kids, that gesture was one of the sweetest, considering she was initially a stranger with no kids.” — Rheea Hermoso-Prudente, writer; mom to Raine, 5, and Breeze, 3
“At one point, I was so tired from the lack of sleep and hunger that I didn’t know which one to do first: eat or sleep. My sweet mother-in-law came over, cooked lunch, and told me to sleep while she took care of my son. I think I got two hours of sleep that afternoon. Precious!” — Gyn Gochangco-Chen, stay-at-home mom to Aiden, 3
Image from sheknows.com
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