4 Steps to Teaching Kids to Care for their Belongings

First-grader Jill lost her Math notebook early this week. Later, it was her new crayons she misplaced. Her wallet was next, and so on. When her teacher would ask about them, she’d seem unaffected, and no amount of reminders could prompt her to organize and care for her belongings, so she still ends up misplacing her things.  

While Jill’s situation is quite common, repeated instances may be rooted in the home. Here are 5 things parents can do to help their child take responsibility for their belongings:

1. Help your child remember.

 Some kids can be quite forgetful, and you could help them in the thought process. Ask your child, “When was the last time you used it?” “What did you do or where did you go after using it?” This will usually help her remember, and teach her what to do the next time it happens.

2. Check yourself. 

If your child is the least affected about losing her things habitually, try to look within. Could it be because this is how the entire family regards material things? Often, this kind of behavior is imbibed from the parents’ attitude. If so, then it’s time for a change of mindset. You as the parent must show a good example!

As a school counselor, I noted that at the end of each schoolyear, a lot of the items in the lost-and-found section like jugs, lunchboxes, wallets, shirts, pencil cases, etc. would remain unclaimed, and I’m guessing that their parents simply replaced the lost items with new ones. This solution, however, elicits an undesirable behavior. Children should be taught about not just the monetary value but the importance of being responsible for their things.

 

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3. Teach your child to be accountable.

Jill’s mom packs her daughter’s schoolbag each night while the little one either plays or sleeps.  In the morning, everything would be laid out for her, and her schoolbag would be handed to her just before she enters the school gate.

While parents have the best intentions of making things easier for their children, doing things for them is a lost opportunity to teach them how to be responsible. Train your child how to care for her own belongings by designating places at home for specific things – toys, shoes, art stuff, books, etc. Make her accountable for them, and let her know the consequences if she does not follow. Give periodic reminders, but resist the urge to do things for her if she fails to remember. Organizing belongings becomes the springboard for many life skills, such as being accountable, and independence. Having a checklist will also teach kids to be organized and may lessen the chances of him losing his things.  

4. Teach logical consequences.

Instead of replacing lost items, teach your child the concept of logical consequence by allowing the child to experience that every action has a corresponding outcome related to the situation.  When they lose a toy or school supplies, let them be content with an old one. Replacement may be an option but let them pay for the item by deducting it from their savings or allowance. This is also a good opportunity to teach them about money. 

If your child misplaced a project, resist the urge to whip up a new one. The best way to handle it is by getting him another set of materials and staying up with him while he starts from scratch to meet the deadline. This allows insight for your child to understand that he is in charge of his belongings. 
Shielding your child from the consequences is but a short-term solution. What you really want is to help him develop independence and responsibility – important life skills he will need in life. . 

Photo by Thomas Hawk via flickr creative commons