6 Tips for Raising Respectful Kids

“No, I don’t want to!”

“You can’t make me!”

“Why should I listen to you?”

These are just some of the phrases a child could utter that could set any parent’s temper ablaze, or, for the more sensitive among us (this writer included), even “shoot arrows” through a parent’s heart. All of them show one thing though: disrespect.

I, for one, have personally heard quite a few kids answer rudely when talking to their parents, and have even been a “victim” of disrespect a few rare times. Yes, respect is one of those seemingly elusive things in our “modern” world today. But many parents would most probably agree with me when I say that despite it being considered an “old-fashioned,” perhaps even “archaic” trait, teaching kids respect does matter.

Steve Hein, an independent writer who maintains the website www.eqi.org, one of the leading sites on emotional intelligence and emotional abuse (as ranked by Google.com), has gathered many useful articles on respect.

On Hein’s website, respect is defined as follows (emphasis mine):

“On a practical level respect includes taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration. It means taking all of these seriously and giving them worth and value. In fact, giving someone respect seems similar to valuing them and their thoughts, feelings, etc. It also includes acknowledging them, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality and idiosyncrasies.

Respect can be shown through behavior and it can also be felt. We can act in ways which are considered respectful, yet we can also feel respect for someone and feel respected by someone. Because it is possible to act in ways that do not reflect how we really feel, the feeling of respect is more important than the behavior without the feeling. When the feeling is there, the behavior will naturally follow.”