Yaya Problems: 10 Situations and What To Do About Them

You’re lucky if you find a yaya who can easily adapt to your parenting style and your child’s personality. For most parents, it’s a constant dilemma whether to tolerate yaya’s shortcoming or to simply let her go. So, we’ve come up with this easy guideline to help you deal with common yaya snafus.

LET IT PASS This does not mean that you’re ignoring the misdemeanor. Simply remind your

yaya about the rule she overlooked and how you want it done next time. If she does it again, then . . .

ISSUE A WARNING Always give her two or three warnings before enforcing a penalty. If you gave her a cell phone, for example, take the gadget away for a specific period of time.

LET HER GO Either you’ve reached your breaking point or she has done something intolerable. Give her what’s due: an explanation, her last paycheck, or fare for her ride home. Below, we enumerate common yaya misdemeanors and what you should do when confronted with them:

 

1. You have a “No TV” policy. One afternoon, you come home unannounced, and catch your yaya and your three year-old daughter plopped in front of the TV, watching a noontime show.

VERDICT Issue a warning.

WHAT TO DO Talk to your yaya and get her side of the story; it could just be a slip. Discuss the current arrangement. You may not want your child watching TV but surely, yaya needs some downtime, too. Arrange some TV time for yaya. Lory Ann Espia, mom to Isaiah, 6 months, says, “I can only tolerate it three times since it’s just watching TV. But if yaya got three warnings and still continues, then I’d have to ask her to leave.” When screening for a yaya, lay down your house rules, says Tisha Bautista in her book Good Housekeeping’s The Maid Manual, a training guide for finding, training, and keeping your household helpers. Discuss the rules thoroughly with yaya. There is no point in hiring a yaya who is hooked on the tube when you don’t want your child watching any TV.

 

2. You are very careful about what you say around your child. You are thus shocked to hear your two year-old blurting out, “You are pangit” and “You’re baduy.” You ask him where he picked up those words and he points to yaya.

VERDICT Issue a warning.

WHAT TO DO “I would talk to yaya calmly and ask her side of the story. I’ll remind her to be more careful with the words she uses in front of my child,” says Espia. Give your yaya a written copy of the values you want enforced in your home as well, Bautista suggests. “By trying to imbibe the specific values, they will feel that they have become part of the household,” she writes.

 

3. Your child’s yaya is always holding her cell phone. Even when there are no message or call alerts, she keeps looking at it.

VERDICT Let it pass.

WHAT TO DO As long as yaya does not neglect her duties, let it go. But if it affects her overall performance, give her a warning. Agree on how often she can use her personal phone. Get a

household cell phone that yaya can use for official calls so she doesn’t need to have her phone

with her all the time. Make sure you cover the expenses of the household cell phone, she adds.

 

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Here are more yaya situations and how to deal with them.

4. Your child’s yaya threatens to lock him up in the room if he doesn’t obey her.

VERDICT Issue a warning.

WHAT TO DO Call her attention right away. Talk to her about the proper way to discipline your

child. Calmly explain to her that threatening a child is a big no-no, says Nice Lim-Trinidad, training manager and mom to Coley, 4, and, Coby, 2. It is the parents’ responsibility to discipline their children; it is the yaya’s role to support their discipline style. For Espia, threatening a child is a serious mistake: The second time yaya does it, she would let her go. Advise your yaya to consult you if she is having problems dealing with your child. Talk to your child, too. Find out why he doesn’t want to obey his yaya. Before you hire a yaya, see to it that your child is at ease with her.

 

5. Yaya hurts your child.

VERDICT Let her go.

WHAT TO DO Whether the abuse is verbal or physical, let yaya go. What’s more, if you catch her in the act or have solid proof that she hurt your child, get the authorities involved. Report the incident to the local barangay, Bautista suggests. The next time she asks for a barangay or NBI clearance, the incident will be brought to light. You can also take the matter to court. The “Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004” protects children against any kind of abuse.

Do a routine check on yaya’s background (former employer, NBI, etc.), suggests Bautista, and conduct a thorough interview before hiring her. The information that you gather should give you a

feel of her personality as well as what to expect of her. Regularly get your children’s feedback about how their yaya is treating them. Make use of technology; a nanny cam will allow you to see how the yaya really is with your kids when you’re not around. Having a relative at home who can give you feedback on the yaya, even for just the first few weeks of her employment, would be  ideal.

 

6. Sunday is her off day. But the first time she took her day-off, she went home at 3 a.m. the next morning.

VERDICT Issue a warning.

WHAT TO DO Talk to her about the consequences of her action (e.g. you were not able to report for work because of her absence). After a warning, Lim-Trinidad deducted half day of her yaya’s pay to make her accountable for her absence. Bianca del Rosario, technical support  representative and mom to Soleil, 15 months, chose to not let her yaya have her next day-off as a penalty. Make sure your sanction is appropriate for the offense given. Upon hiring a yaya, talk about all the details of her employment: salary, days off, food and toiletries allowances, etc. Get her side on these things; “Bahala na po kayo” doesn’t help both parties, writes Baustista.

 

Click here to read more yaya situations and how to deal with them.

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Here are more yaya situations and how to deal with them.

 

7. Your baby had a minor accident when yaya was supposed to look after him.

VERDICT Issue a warning.

WHAT TO DO Get all the facts. Determine what yaya was doing when the accident happened. Tell her that it is okay to let go of other chores so that she can focus on the kids, says Lim-Trinidad. Suzanne Keih Liwanag, revenue analyst and mom to Anne Keir, 1, suggests, “Remind

yaya that your reprimands are about setting rules and policies at home.” Go for positive coaching techniques to bring out her bright side. Make a list of to-dos for yaya to avoid confusion. Prioritize her responsibilities so that she isn’t distracted by other “exra tasks.” If the accident happened because yaya lacks focus or if small accidents happen often, then you must evaluate things; maybe she is not the right person to care for your child.

 

8. Your yaya lies or steals from you.

VERDICT Let her go.

WHAT TO DO Dishonesty and lack of trust are grounds for termination. An open line of communication should enable both parties to express their needs, and not resort to lying or stealing. If it’s a small amount of money or a little white lie, you may want to give your yaya another chance. But once trust is broken, it’s hard to earn back. For a grave offense, legal action is a must. Report the incident to your local barangay.

 

9. Yaya likes to comment on other household helpers’ jobs and exaggerates stories that lead to arguments.

VERDICT Issue a warning.

WHAT TO DO Observe the situation after giving her a warning. If she continues bad-mouthing her coworkers, then itís time to let her go. “I did not let the incident pass and confronted my yaya. I explained that if she does not stop this bad habit, she will end up doing the other household helpers’ chores aside from her own caretaking duties; the others would leave because of her attitude,” says Shery Osea-Castro, M.D., medical doctor and mom to Basti, 10 months. To avoid this situation, have your current helpers talk with the applicants while they wait to be interviewed by you, ìjust to get a feel of how she may get along with the rest of your staff,” suggests Bautista.

 

Click here to read more yaya situations and how to deal with them.

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Here are more yaya situations and how to deal with them.

10. Yaya is not hygienic.

VERDICT Issue a warning.

WHAT TO DO Hygiene is a must when it comes to taking care of children and as with any task, training is key. “Stress the value of personal hygiene,” writes Bautista. “It is the deciding factor between getting your foot in the door or being pushed out of one.” Encourage her to take a bath every day, use a deodorant, keep her nails clean and short, wear minimal or no makeup at all, and practice good posture.

 

SOURCES

• The Maid Manual, by Tisha C. Bautista
• Mommy Panel: Lory Ann Espia, Nice Lim-Trinidad, Shery Osea-Castro, M.D., Bianca del Rosario, Suzanne Keih Liwanag

Photo from flickr.com