A Day in the Life of a Stay-at-Home Mom

Whoever said that Stay-at-Home-Moms or SAHMs in web lingo, have it easy, obviously hasn't tried running after a toddler all day.
 
When my yaya went home for her annual month long vacation, I had to rely on my mom to take care of my feisty three year-old daughter while the other yaya watches over my 3 month-old son.
 
Two weeks into her ''subbing'', my mom forced me to take a leave from work so that she can ''recuperate''. So here I am at home. Half a day into it and I'm ready to salute all SAHMs out there.
 
Certainly, being a mother is not for the self-involved; moreso, when you're an SAHM. You'd think that being home the entire day will give you lots of time to chill, but there's barely enough time in a day to split between a hyperactive toddler and a wailing baby, let alone have some ''me time.''
 
I thought going on leave would allow me to sleep in for a few hours, but my day started with my daughter trying to pry my eyes open with her little fingers.
 
''Wake up, Mama!'' she said.
 
For the next few hours after I opened my eyes, I've already helped her build a castle with her Lego blocks, watched the Little Mermaid three times (just for today and the day ain't done yet), pleaded with her so I can give her a bath, pleaded with her to get out of the bath, got mad at her for being too naughty and threatened to throw away her toys and DVD cartoons (that didn't work), threatened again to throw away her books (that did), sang with her, cuddled her to sleep and it's only 11am. So far, I've only managed to give my baby boy a quick kiss on the head, since his Ate is monopolizing all of my time.

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Moms like me have to play a lot of roles when engaging with our kids -- a parent, a playmate, a teacher, an entertainer, a caregiver and whatever else their child needs them to be. It's nothing less than a juggling act. You have to be cool, strict, lenient and fun all at the same time. It's hard enough to play one role to the hilt but you also have to strike the right balance, else you're seen as more of one than the other.
 
While his older sister was sleeping, I sneaked away to pick up my little boy for a series of peek-a-boos and tickles and a few uninterrupted moments, but before I knew it, the little girl has woken up and is calling out to me just as I was putting the sleeping baby in his bassinet. Ending? Two crying babies and one mom at wits' end. I love my kids but to hear them both screaming for me at the same time does make me a little crazy.
 
The house is still pretty much like being in the office and reporting to two difficult, demanding and hard-to-please bosses. Only I can't ask for overtime pay and there's zero compensation for all my hard work. I also have to deal with the constant worry -- that they might get hurt during playtime, that they are not learning enough, that they're not feeding well and all the other what-ifs that only a mother could come up with.
 
So do SAHMs get the better end of the deal compared to working moms? As it seems, the demands are just as challenging and you couldn't just clock out when you've had enough.
 
It's night time and I have just put both kids to bed. I'm scared to make a sound, lest one or both of them wakes up. Yes, I'm exhausted but I realized that I'm also happy. I got to spend time with my daughter and hear her add new words to her growing vocabulary instead of my mom or the yaya telling me about it. I got my son to giggle and coo while he was holding on tightly to my finger. These are just some of the things that I miss out on when I'm working. It made me think that what SAHMs miss in their professional careers, they gain in precious, priceless moments with their children.
 
My daughter beside me sleepily opened one eye, as if to check if I was there. Then she murmured, ''Thank you, Mama'' and went to back to sleep. With that, I just knew no compliment from work could ever make my eyes water. And even if I can't afford to be a SAHM, a part of me will always wish that I could.



Photography by David Hanson Ong