A Tech-Challenged Parent’s Guide to the Internet

It’s 6 pm -- do you know where your kids are? If they have internet access, they can be a thousand miles away for all you know.  The World Wide Web is a big place, filled with many wonders. Information, entertainment and literally a whole universe of people are out there, all accessible at a single keystroke. But not all is sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice here. It’s also chock-full of things like XXX sites, racial hate pages, terrorist recruitment lists, Jersey Shore and enough profanity to make a drill sergeant proud.  

Here’s how you can avoid exposing your child to all of that.

What to Expect
The first thing is to be realistic - Internet, Cable TV, Pay-per-view, Hip-Hop music and Korean telenovelas are all here to stay. Your goal isn’t to raise prudish, naïve adults, but to do the best you can so your children will grow up with a healthy outlook on life. The G.I. Joe team said it best: “Knowing is half the battle.” You don’t need to be a whiz in computers to protect your child from the hazards of the net, but it wouldn’t hurt to know some helpful tips about what you’re up against.  

Remember, technology’s always changing; what’s written here may not be technically relevant in a few years, but, no matter how much computers change, all it takes is common sense and a willingness to learn to stay on top and in touch with the times.

Expert Advice
Jo Mari Calumpit, an internet café owner and manager, says kids tend to know more about computers than adults do. “They’re essentially more curious than smart, actually, which isn’t a bad thing, but it presents problems when dealing with the net.”

What can busy parents do? “Parents can subscribe to cybernanny services and use Windows itself to block inappropriate content but ultimately, the best thing is to prevent the use of the net unattended. I would restrict net access so long as I’m not home, using passwords and only allowing the child to surf if I’m there. Thing is, it’s a stopgap measure because eventually, kids will enter internet cafes without their parents knowing.”

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“In my family, my siblings keep things simple with net access. The younger kids don’t have computers in their rooms, they only get to use the PC in the living room.”

Computer consultant Sandra Batud also agrees with keeping the PC in an exposed area and restricting internet access to minors. “A friend asked me to investigate her grandson’s internet usage. Neither my friend nor her husband is tech-savvy and their apo would come home early after school to use the computer, stashed in the room of a busy aunt. I eventually found evidence that he was downloading pictures of nude men for several months. At least if the PC is out in the open, even the katulong will notice that something’s amiss as those sites tend to have a distinct look. I’d even suggest disconnecting the modem and locking it if no adults are around.”

Rob Lo, a self-taught computer expert with 30 years of experience has a more novel approach. His four boys, aged 10-17, use a five-PC network. However, the only computer that has web access sits right in the living room but is linked to the other PCs. “I control who gets internet and who doesn’t,” he says with an impish grin.

“My kids ask me for help when something’s amiss. They equate porn popup advertisements with virus threats, so when they see those, they call my attention immediately. They’re afraid of viruses destroying their files.”

He says that rapport is built through open communication and “processing information properly with a child, like when your kid sees TV shows with PG content. You have to sit and talk to your child, explaining the nuances of things.”

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Not tech-savvy? Here are a few things you should know to navigate your way through programs and sites:

Internet Explorer
To see what files or pictures your child has saved, click the Favorites button, and then choose the History tab. This will list down all the sites that have been visited on your PC. You have the option of sorting the history listing by date, site name, most frequented site, or most recently visited by clicking the list that appears under the History tab. Windows 7’s built-in browser can also block content through its Content Advisor feature. Just follow instructions, create a password and select the level of content filtering you wish on your child’s computer or laptop.

To block or allow specific websites, first open Internet Explorer. Click the Tools button , and then click Internet options. Click the Content tab, and then, under Content Advisor, click Settings. If you are prompted for an administrator password or confirmation, type the password or provide confirmation. In the Supervisor Password Required dialog box, type your password, and then click OK. Click the Approved Sites tab. Under Allow this website, type the URL for the site you want to allow or block, and then do one of the following:

To allow the website, click Always. To block the website, click Never. To save the settings, click Apply, and then click OK.

iOS Devices (iPod, iPhone, iPad, iTunes Store, etc.)
Apple does offer adequate restrictions that allow you to disable certain apps, keep your child from downloading or buying things from inside an app, and even concealing inappropriate content but it requires you to download an app to make an iPhone or iPad safe for web browsing. You must also reactivate the restrictions every time you give the iOS device to your child. Once you deactivate these restrictions, you’ll have to enable every single one again the next time your child borrows it, which can be quite tiresome.  For details about how to access the content filter systems of individual devices, visit apple.com for details.

Facebook and other social media sites
Smartparenting.com.ph has tackled the subject of social media sites in the past so it also depends on the parent to decide whether their child is mature enough to join these sites. Of course, children can always do this behind a parent’s back, and once they’re online, it’s surf at your own risk. Ultimately, it’s best to join them while they check out these sites.

YouTube
Like ordinary cable TV, this requires parental supervision. To their credit, the YouTube community flags and removes videos that are considered inappropriate.  However, unlike cable TV, YouTube has no TV guide so it’s “let the viewer beware” territory.

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Bulletin Board Services (BBS)
Some bulletin boards, even of general information such as imdb.com (Internet Movie Database) aren’t monitored because of the sheer volume of traffic and number of topics.  Oftentimes, discussions degenerate into flame wars (angry swear-filled exchanges), so make sure he doesn’t sign up for a bulletin board.

Chat Programs
Yahoo Messenger, Skype and other chat programs sometimes have strangers who spam (shotgun-style advertising) online, sometimes for illicit purposes. Check your contact or friends list for unfamiliar names. Some, like Yahoo Messenger, have live feed camera features which, of course could be used for inappropriate activities. And if your camera’s on, they can see you, too.

Porn Sites
Visiting porn sites is the PC equivalent of having unprotected sex. You can acquire computer viruses such as adware (advertising software), spyware (programs that steal the private data in your PC) and even Trojans (aggressive computer viruses).

Cybernanny
A cybernanny is a parental filter program, which, when installed in your computer, prevents children from harmful content from the internet. Companies that offer parental filter programs maintain lists of websites that house inappropriate content and offer programs that prevent accessing those sites on a PC. As this is a subscription-based service like an anti-virus company, an annual fee is required (about P2000-P3000).

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How to protect your child

1. Spend time with your child on the computer.  
Use the Internet with your child to play games, plan for a family vacation, or learn about new places and people. Ask your child to teach you more about the computer and to show you certain tricks he or she may have learned. Not only will you gain computer knowledge, you will also get valuable information on just how savvy your child is on the computer. Make sure to ask your child what he or she likes on the Internet and to show you his favorite sites.

2. Put the computer in a place that can be easily accessed by the entire family.
Let your child know that you will be periodically watching and monitoring his or her online activities.

3. Share an online pseudonym, password, and email account with your child.
In this way, you can monitor online correspondences and the Internet sites that your child has accessed.

4. Never allow your child to have face-to-face contact with someone they met online without your permission.
I repeat - never - under any circumstances. If you agree to the meeting, accompany your child and arrange for it to take place in public.

5. Don't allow your child to go into private chat rooms or video conferences without your permission and supervision.

6. Monitor your credit card bill.
Many pornographic online vendors require credit cards in order to have access to their sites.

Source:
7 Ways To Protect Your Kids on the Internet by Dr. Leigh Baker, author of Protecting Your Children From Sexual Predators

Photo from loriannoberlin.com