Amazing Grace: The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Nothing in the world could have prepared me for my husband’s sudden and unexpected confession of infidelity.

It happened one night last July. I was doing my usual reading before bed, and he walked into our bedroom after spending a significant time alone in the living room. He sat on the bed, took my hand and said he needed to talk to me. He told me that he was scared because that might be the last time that he would get to hold my hand.

Right then and there, I knew. In my mind, I knew who the girl was even before he said her name. All of a sudden, I seemed to recall the numerous instances where things seemed amiss. And yet, looking back on that night, even if the signs had flashed before me moments before he started to speak, even if someone came to me beforehand to warn me, I still would not have been prepared for that moment. Nothing and no one in the world could have prepared me for the truth that my long-time boyfriend, my new husband and the father of my child had cheated on me.

He was my boyfriend for 12 years before we decided to finally tie the knot. At the time of his infidelity, we had just gotten married. That was actually one of the hardest truths I had to swallow. We had spent a good twelve years together as a couple, and a tough but happy five years together as parents. And then, after only three weeks as my husband, he was already breaking my heart in the most cruel, unimaginable way.

She was his officemate. She knew of my existence. She had played with my child in their office before. I was so angry at her. I was so disappointed in him. I was devastated, but I knew I needed to be strong. I promised myself that in the morning, my son would not know that something was wrong. I didn’t want anyone to see that we were going through a crisis. I chose this not because I was in denial, but because deep down, I knew I wanted to protect my husband and our marriage. Enough damage had been done.