Are Facebook and Twitter Hindering Family Communication?

Social networking media can be overwhelming and confusing to today’s parents. Do they bring families closer together or are they a bane to healthy relationships between parents and children?


Good vs. Bad – Social Media and Its Consequences
Facebook’s benefits are obvious to long-time users: it helps them stay in touch with family and friends, even those who have gone abroad or are too busy to meet face-to-face. It allows members to reconnect through sharing photos, playing games, public ‘wall’ messages, status updates and other virtual activities (Have you Poked someone today?). Twitter is similar – in spite of its 140 character limit, Twitterers can share information on the fly such as traffic and weather updates, weblinks, bargains (50% off at Zara until next week!), movie reviews (Transformers – whaa--?) and of course, personal messages to each other and to their followers. To put it simply, Twitter allows you to text the world and the world can text you back.
 
The advantages to this kind of technology are enormous, however, there are pitfalls to consider. Online activities of this sort are enjoyable to the point that they can become addictive – a whole unproductive day, even weeks can go fallow with one’s eyes glued to the screen, reading and commenting on every wall post, or playing engaging games such as CityVille or Mafia Wars. Another aspect is the permanence of posted data – you and your child have to exercise prudence in what you post in Twitter or Facebook because once that unflattering photo or angry post has been sent, it can remain there indefinitely, or worse, recopied and posted in hundreds of other websites, as proven by such reprobates as Anthony Wiener and Carolyn Bourne (Google them for your entertainment and horror).
 
A social disconnect also occurs when too much time is spent on social media.  It’s so easy to ‘Friend’ someone like a classmate or a colleague at work. Teenagers ‘Friend’ hundreds or even thousands of people, many they’ve never even seen in person.  The lines of relationships start to blur and the definition of ‘friend’ becomes much more superficial.

 

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To top it off, there are cases of careless spouses posting photos and tweets of their infidelity for all the world to see, which is why Facebook is also studied by private investigators and the US government for court-admissible evidence for things such as infidelity and breach-of-contract activities, all the way up to misdemeanors and felony cases. What’s worse, with the rising cases of virtual identity theft and hacking, people have to exercise care lest their Twitter or Facebook pages get hijacked and their data stolen (credit card info, personal info used to access email, etc.) or used to spread computer viruses, spam emails and links to disreputable sites.
 

Virtual and Social Realities
Linda Fogg Philips, co-author of the book, Facebook for Parents – Answers to The Top 25 Questions, advocates the proper use of Facebook and other social media sites, and notes these four benefits to enhance family relationships:

1. Becoming more aware
 Observing the status updates and posts that your child makes on his Facebook wall will give you insight into his thoughts and feelings. You will also be able to get a glimpse of his friends and how they interact with each other.  

2. Facilitates better communication
 Facebook, Twitter and other social media can be tools to facilitate greater family communication. Regularly posting updates for family members can be an activity that the whole family can participate in and enjoy. It’s an easy way to stay on top of the latest developments with family, especially children who have left the nest or parents who pursue work abroad.

3.  Teaches life skills
 Children can practice and develop real life skills in the virtual confines of Facebook and Twitter that they will use in their adult world. Skills that deal with aspects of leadership, learning, developing one’s identity and relationship management are invaluable for your child’s future and can be nurtured through social networking activities.

 

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4.  Provide encouragement and support
 Social media like Facebook and Twitter are excellent tools for supporting and publicly acknowledging your children’s triumphs and accomplishments. These sites also provide a means to offer support and comfort with their life challenges, and are invaluable tools for teaching empathy and awareness of others.
 
As much as possible, there should be a balance between online communication and activities and offline, personal communication (going out, getting together) – but in the case of families separated by distance, this should be a balance between general social networking (like Facebook and Twitter) and direct contact media (chatting via Skype face-to-face, cellphone calls) where one’s attention is directed solely at another person.
 
Let’s be honest with ourselves: this is the 21st Century. The genie is out of the bottle. Online social networking is here to stay. Ultimately, the question is not whether Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites are good or bad for families, but how to positively integrate and utilize them to enhance communication between family members. Social networking is a tool, and in the right hands, can be very effective at bringing family members closer together; however, by that same vein, if they are not properly utilized, can serve to drive a wedge between parents and children or even between husbands and wives.
 
You can learn more about Linda Fogg Philips’ work at http://www.facebookforparents.org/


Source:
Ben. "Facebook : A Blessing and a Curse" effectivefamilycommunication.com


Photo by rutty via flickr creative commons