Most first-time parents are well-versed on their children’s developmental milestones. You do your research beforehand and know more or less when to expect an activity that reflects progress. However, there are things that are not considered growth targets but are more like rites of passage or indicators of social and emotional readiness, many of which have no strict carry-out dates. This leaves you asking, “When is the best time to do this?”
Here, we ask several experts to provide some general guidelines. Please remember though that not all children develop at the same rate so there really are no hard and fast rules.
When is the best time to …
1…have a boy circumcised?
Joy Ty-Sy, M.D., a pediatrician from Cardinal Santos Medical Center in San Juan, clarifies that circumcision “is more of a religious or cultural issue, than a medical one.”
If neonatal circumcision wasn’t done, she assures that it can be delayed until the pre-teen or teenage years when the boy can fully understand what he will go through (i.e., pain and post-circumcision care). She further advises parents requesting circumcision of their male children to have both general and local complications explained to the child.
Dr. Ty-Sy adds there are, however, medical conditions that warrant an earlier circumcision such as balanitis xerotica obliterans, a skin condition affecting the male genitalia; recurrent balanoposthitis or inflammation of the foreskin and glans in uncircumcised males; and proven urinary tract infection or urinary tract anomaly, to reduce the risk of infections with possible local and systemic damage.
2…have a girl’s ears pierced?
Some parents choose to have their baby’s ears pierced at birth or during the first year of life while others prefer to wait it out until the child is four or five years old.
“In my opinion, any age is okay,” says Dr. Ty-Sy. “If you want it done early, the baby should have at least received her first anti-tetanus vaccine, which is usually part of DTap-IPV combination vaccine, and the size of her earlobe is big enough so that the earring will be positioned centrally.”
For bigger kids, Dr. Ty-Sy recommends that it’s best to wait until the child is emotionally ready to go through the brief pain and understand the process. “Parents must be aware that after ear piercing, a great amount of care is required to prevent infection,” she cautions. “Alcohol must be dabbed on the earlobe three times a day for at least two weeks. Do not attempt to remove the earring until after two months or so. If there’s irritation or some discharge, have your daughter’s earlobes checked immediately by your pediatrician.”
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3…get the first haircut?
“Generally, there is no ‘right’ time or age for children to get their first haircut,” says Dr. Ty-Sy. “Just check if the hair gets in your child’s eyes or is bothering him on the back of the neck.”
She gives a few tips on helping make the experience a happy one for your child. “Make sure you have visited the salon. Is the place clean and child-friendly? Are the staff members practicing good personal hygiene?” Prior to the salon trip, feed baby and ensure that he has had adequate sleep first. Bring some toys or books to keep him preoccupied and don’t forget to bring an extra shirt for him to change into later.
4…let a toddler sleep independently?
By age one, a baby can already be transferred from the crib to a cot. However, relocation from the parents’ bedroom to a child’s own bedroom is a different matter and will depend on a child’s readiness to do so. Some adapt to the change within days while others may take several weeks or months to finally sleep by themselves. To entice children to move into their own bedroom, involve them in choosing the decorations especially the bedding designs and colors.
Dr. Ty-Sy affirms that the initial transition may be difficult so parents need to be firm and consistent. “I encourage moms to have a bedtime routine such as reading storybooks or simply talking about how their children’s day went.” For bigger kids, you can ask about the highlights or problems they encountered during the day. “More importantly, I feel that the best way to end the day is by praying together,” she advocates. “It is a good practice to teach kids to trust that God will take care of them while they sleep. This can also help them dispel common childhood fears such monsters, and the like.”
5…for a child to be independent of a yaya?
Dr. Ty-Sy believes that parenting is a God-given privilege. As such, “The role we play as parents is vital to our child’s identity. Yaya is just there to assist; her role is to help you when your hands are full. She could help you change the diaper, bathe the baby, watch over him, or prepare the food, but moms should always be there especially during the first year of life.”
At around a year or a year-and-a-half, when a child learns how to walk, talk, and understand simple instructions, he should already be trained to be independent. “This means the nanny should not do everything for her charge and instead help teach him how to eat, put away his toys, and potty train,” she enumerates. “This is a slow process and may be difficult at first but is truly rewarding in the end.”
Dr. Ty-Sy reminds parents that babies don’t remain babies forever so care should be tailored to each phase of their lives. “Yayas should be there to supervise and prevent accidents but, at the same time, give the kids a little ‘space’ to be independent and allow them to develop new skills they need to grow and mature into a young boy or girl in the future.”
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6…let a child eat junk food?
“If sweets or junk food aren’t introduced early to a child, he wouldn’t know what he’s missing,” says Dr. Ty-Sy. “I always remind parents to prepare healthy food—natural, unprocessed, without artificial coloring, and not-too-sweet food and drinks are ideal.”
She concedes that kids can be allowed some junk food if their eating habits have already been established, “…meaning they can eat their veggies, fruits, and meats on a regular basis. But I really don’t encourage giving junk food because it might be habit-forming, so give everything in moderation.” Lastly, she advises that if you want your kids to eat healthy food, you have to model that behavior for them by choosing healthy food yourself.
7…transition from feeding bottle to sippy cup?
One of the factors that contribute to infant and toddler tooth decay is propped bottles containing sweetened liquids while a child sleeps. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents teach children to drink from a cup as soon as possible, usually by age one. A cup cannot be taken to bed, thus it will not cause milk and other sweetened drinks to collect around a child’s teeth. A sippy cup with a snap-on lid and straw or a special valve is a good start to prevent spills and messes.
A couple of indicators that show a child can be encouraged to switch to a sippy cup are a strong fist grasp and the ability to move things easily from the hand to the mouth. Buy a first sippy cup with two handles instead of just one.
8…to get a pet?
“One of the best ways to teach children responsibility is by letting them have a pet to take care of,” says veterinarian Catherine D. Visey-Saladaga, D.V.M. She adds that the best time to get one is when your child starts showing interest in animals and expresses the desire to have a pet. It is important that he is already able to follow instructions and is ready to be taught how to properly take good care of animals.
As to the right age, Dr. Visey-Saladaga makes it clear that this would depend on the parents’ assessment of their child’s readiness and ability to understand how to care for another being. “I got my daughter her first pet, a two-month-old half shitzu-half mini pincher pup, at the age of five. At the time, she already understood and was able to provide for the needs of her pet to eat, drink, play, and bathe. She also knew things she should not do to her pet,” she recalls.
Dr. Visey-Saladaga recommends getting a pet that is of small size or breed, easy to handle or manage, is of good temperament, and matches the child’s personality and interest. “Young or newly-weaned animals are preferable so it would be easier for them to adapt to the child and vice versa.” She adds that it is also best if parents can research on whether the animals they plan to get for their kids would be appropriate to their lifestyle and budget.
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9…teach a child to tie his shoelaces?
“Around two years old, a child would already have developed fine motor skills and be able to follow simple instructions,” says Nadine More, M.D., a pediatrician at Fort Bonifacio General Hospital. If he can already hold objects securely between thumb and forefinger, show him how you tie your own shoelaces then let him try on his own shoes. “But don’t expect him to perfect this until he turns four or five,” reminds Dr. More. Further develop your child’s pincer grasp by looking for books and toys with a picture of a shoe and real shoe strings he can practice on.
10…potty train a toddler?
Many two-year-olds can already achieve daytime bladder control. By this time, they can also be encouraged to verbalize their urge to pee or poo. “You can start potty training as early as two,” affirms Dr. More. “Generally, girls can be toilet-trained earlier than boys.” Still, don’t expect your child to have day and night bladder control until she reaches the age of four or five.
Photo from flickr.com
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