How to Curb Gift Overload this Christmas

Christmas is that time of year when kids are showered with wrapped surprises. lots of it. But if you always end up with a floor full of half-opened gifts, and a child who hardly plays with any of them, you may have a case of .gift overload..

Your child may be receiving just a bit more than he should, causing more harm than good. There.s a thin line between nurturing and overindulging, experts say. We sought help from child care professionals to help you rethink the gift-giving practices your family may have been accustomed to all these years.


You want more?
In How Much Is Enough?, a book which deals with the issue of overindulgence and its effects on a child’s life skills, parent educator and co-author Jean Illsley Clarke, Ph.D., tells of real life stories and gives strategies to avoid and fix this particular problem. Clarke writes, .Many of us, with good intentions, have provided abundance for someone only to discover that we have overindulged him. We can tell we have overindulged because instead of appreciation and joy, we get whines and demands for more..

Here are some indicators to help you identify if you are giving too much:

•    Confusion sets in. An-Marie Bartolome-Villarin, Ed. M., managing director of the Terrific Tots Preschool Program at The Little Gym Philippines, explains this is the time parents will notice a child’s short attention span.

Because there are just too many toys, he might find it difficult to figure out which one to play with first. Villarin adds, .This may lead to stubbornness, tantrums, or overexcitement, which are likely to pose problems in the future. Surrounding your child with too many push-button toys also robs him of the opportunity to develop important skills like creativity and movement that come from exploring his natural environment.

 

Click here to learn more about curbing gift overload.

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Learn more about curbing gift overload.

 

•    You’re maxed out. If the gift list exceeds your family budget, then you.re seriously in a jam. You have to make a choice: Will it be the expensive drum set and the latest game console? Or will you teach your child the value of saving resources and letting him exercise his decision-making skills by choosing just one toy?

•    You’re happier with the toy than your child is. Little girls in pink and fancy outfits with matching hats are just too cute for words. Sometimes, you can never hear enough compliments about your adorable daughter. But do you really need to stuff her closet with piles of clothes and accessories she’ll only wear once, and outgrow sooner than you think?


Say enough
Do rules take the joy out of giftgiving? On the contrary, they help avoid unrealistic expectations that may eventually lead to frustration, if given at the onset. House rules should be established beforehand as this will lessen resistance, says Lourdes Sumpaico-Tanchanco, M.D., developmental pediatrician at The Medical City in Pasig City.

•    Set limits. Get your child involved by asking him what he wants and discussing why he may or may not have it. Abbie Mensenares, managing director of Movement Matters Therapy Center in Quezon City and mother of four-year-old Aidan, says, .I usually ask my son a couple of months before the event, to identify two or three things he wants to receive. Then I set it up such that one will come from Mom and Dad, one from Santa and then, try to .hint. the last item to one of the grandmas or ninangs.

•    Share the information. It’s okay to let others in on your rules. Relatives and friends play a vital role in the gift-giving process, too, since a bulk of presents received during the holidays come from them. Mensenares adds toys that promote violence are a no-no, and she lets the .gift givers. know this.

Her son has since been receiving an assortment of educational toys, books, and clothes.Though it may be more of a challenge, Moira Bunyi, who has an M.A. in Family Life and Child Development from the University of the Philippines in Quezon City and is a mother of three, has managed to achieve this by communicating to her relatives the type of gifts she wants for her child, usually limiting them to educational toys. .We say it shouldn’t be too expensive, or else we tell them exactly which ones to get. This also decreases the chance of getting the same gift from different givers.

 

Click here to learn more about how to curb gift overload.

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Read on to learn more about how to curb gift overload.

 

•    Spread them out. If it is difficult to control how much other people give, set rules on opening presents, Bartolome-Villarin suggests. Opening gifts until a later time will let your child enjoy and appreciate each and every gift. Help him determine which ones can be used and which ones can be stored.

This teaches your child how to organize, make decisions, and manage his emotions.

•    Shifting the focus. No matter what age, kids can be taught that Christmas is not just about receiving presents. The best way to do this is by example. Parents should serve as their kids. role models by not focusing on material things. Dr. Tanchanco says, .Sometimes, children end up equating their worth to material things. Rewards and gifts should be very minimal and not just material in nature..

•    Focus on the spirit of giving. Making Christmas presents with your child lets him experience the process of creating something for someone else. Your child will take pride in his accomplishment, Villarin adds, and feel a sense of seeing how much the other person appreciates it.

•    Participate in a Christmas drive. Put together some of your old belongings to donate to charity and encourage your child to check his collection of toys, clothes, books, and other materials and identify which can be given away. Seeing your lead lets him know you are not merely forcing him to let go of his possessions. Rather, it becomes a fun family activity that teaches your child the concept of sharing.

•    Deal with disappointments. Bunyi.s seven-year-old son Enzo already knows who will give him gifts during the holidays and occasionally gets disappointed when the gift is not a toy.

•    Resistance and frustration is a normal reaction. It is how it is managed that should be addressed well,. says Dr. Tanchanco. Bunyi says. If he doesn.t get what he wants, we say maybe Santa is reserving that toy for another special occasion.like his graduation or when he turns 10..

•    Encourage siblings to share instead of doing the math and sneaking peeks into each other’s Christmas stockings. Give them a common gift they can all play together such as a board game.

 

Click here to learn more about how to teach your child to be a gracious recipient.

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Read on to learn more about how to teach your child to be a gracious recipient.

 

The Gracious Recipient
Keep in mind that every time your child receives a gift, it is a wonderful chance to teach gratitude and good manners. Don’t pass up this learning opportunity. Here are some lessons you can impart:
1. Say “thank you” with a smile, no matter how big or small the gift may be. For gifts he doesn’t receive personally, assist him in making a phone call or a thank you note.
2. Open your gift at home or after the giver has left. This helps avoid embarrassing, awkward situations when your child might spontaneously blurt out phrases like, “Ay, ito lang?” or “Meron na ako nito!”
3. Positive phrases, please. Children echo what you say, so when they hear words such as “I appreciate it,” “I’m pleased,” or “How thoughtful!”, they eventually learn to compliment the giver.
4. A gift is something given and not asked for. Remind him that it is not polite to go up to someone and demand a gift. It is only when asked by grandparents, relatives, or friends that he may state his preference.
5. Unwrap one gift at a time. Make sure your child completely opens any package received and takes time to see and appreciate it before moving on to the next one.


Photography by Dakila Angeles