In-laws 101: The Basics of Dealing with your Spouse’s Family

There is many a movie where the story revolves around ‘monster’ in-laws.  In these movies, the in-laws are portrayed to be meddling and over-controlling—almost bordering on being evil.  That’s in the movies…it is not reality.  Well, most of the time it isn’t!

Though there are exceptions to the rule, the reality of ‘monster’ in-laws is very rare.  Of course there are adjustments and tweaking of relationships to be made; but more often than not, most husbands and wives have satisfactory, if not great relationships with their in-laws.

Here is a simple crash course on the basics of dealing with the in-laws.  It comes in two parts.  The first part focuses on you as an individual and an active partner in the relationship with your in-laws.  The second part focuses on you with your partner as a couple in building relationships with your parents.  


Focusing on Self
 

1.    Steer clear of stereotypes
Being overly frightened or apprehensive of having ‘monster’ in-laws may just land you with that—a strained and unpleasant relationship with your in-laws.  Being too negative or overly comparing your in-laws with the mean and unpleasant people in the movies (or your own parents and the way you perceive things to be) may just bring about a self fulfilling prophecy because of the way you are psyched to act and relate to them as such.


2.    Good relationships begin with you
The only person you can control in the building of a relationship between you and your in-laws is yourself.  Though it may be difficult at times, try to recognize the positives in your in-laws and make the first step in doing things that can create a better relationship.  If all fails, remember your good upbringing and treat your in-laws with the respect they deserve.  After all, they are your partner’s parents.

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