“Mom said no horseplay before bed time, but dad lets me play before sleeping.” -- this is a common scenario in many households, prompting kids to wonder who to listen to when Mom and Dad say two different things. Is it Mom? Is it Dad?
When parents disagree on household rules, it is usually the children who are at the losing end. These inconsistencies, besides being the source of conflict, cause much confusion in a young child. In my profession, I witnessed some parents disagreeing even in the counseling room on their parenting principles.
House Rules Clear house rules are important because they become your children’s “operations manual”. Rules are the tangible manifestations of the parent’s values in the family. It can cover the kids’ daily routine – preparing for school, meals, study time, playing and fixing toys, relating with siblings, bedtime, etc. If mom and dad agree on the rules they implement, the child becomes aware of the expectations from him, thus he can be asked to cooperate. Inconsistencies with house rules may result to misbehavior stemming from a vague idea on what they should do and how to go about it.
Values Values in life and living differ among individuals, according to how they were raised. It is important that parents agree on the values and rules in raising their children, because being in conflict on this matter might weaken their value system and affect their attitudes and principles. Some important matters that parents should discuss and agree with in order to bring up their children well are defined below:
1. Faith. Beliefs become the basis of personal principles, decisions and actions. Whether mom and dad have the same religion or spiritual formation, consistency is needed to teach their kids about God and how to live out their spirituality in daily life.