Mom we Love: Luchi Cruz-Valdes

There are two incidents in Luchi Cruz-Valdes’s life which she considers an act of divine intervention.

The first was during her first few years foraying into the world of broadcast journalism, which she says had been her dream ever since she was a child. It was an unexpected encounter that would soon change her career goals. 

Back in 1982, Luchi was a news reader for then RPN9’s News Watch: Filipino Edition. She had a promising future. An excellent orator at the time, Luchi says she also had such a great voice that she could do anything with it. “I grew up as a declaimer!” she exclaims. “Sobra akong daldalera. I was even a singer at some point. I [even] joined the New Minstrels.” Then one day, a chance encounter with her boyfriend of three years at a most unexpected place and circumstance changed everything. Finding him with another woman inside the UP campus, Luchi was heartbroken.

The incident took a toll on her, and soon it began to affect her enunciation. When Luchi reported for work on the news program where she was anchoring the following day, she threw up. “Siguro ‘yung sa sobrang heartache. I couldn’t describe it. I was speechless,” Luchi relates.

“In the next few days, I began to stutter on air,” Luchi reveals. “You know how it is with stuttering - you don’t really go speechless completely; there are just certain words na you falter [on]. I’d pass it on to my co-anchor, and they knew what was happening to me.”

Luchi would go on leave for a week, with the support of her director. She was crying her heart out all the time, and eventually resigned out of embarrassment, but would later on express her intent to continue working, but as a reporter this time. "I approached Frankie Abao who was head of news at that time. 'Sir, I’d like to continue working here.' Sabi niya, 'I don’t have a budget.' 'It’s okay, Sir, I just want to learn.' 'Sige, what will you be?' 'I want to do some reporting.'"

“Sobrang ‘di ko naisip na magugustuhan ko ‘yun, from news anchor to reporter, because it was hard,” Luchi shares. Stressing the important role reporters play, Luchi says that they are the ones who really run the show when it comes to news programs. “Without the reporters, no matter how great your anchor is, if wala kang reporters, wala kang balita."

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During that time, the reporters were not as popular as radio reporters. But Luchi learned it all – from becoming a writer for the newscasts, to covering and writing her own news reports, even editing.

Luchi would then work her way up from being a production assistant (PA) for the American Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) during the snap elections, and after reconnecting with her U.P. professor, Ms. Che Che Lazaro, she would later on co-establish with her the well-known investigative news program, Probe, for ABS-CBN. 

After nine months, Probe then moved to GMA 7 and renamed 'The Probe Team' as a block timer. “Ako ‘yung workhorse,” Luchi explains. “I was managing Probe [and The Probe Team] so I was there for 12 years.” Alongside this, she also headed the News Production as well as hosted i-Witness, a program she created. Luchi says it was working in all these programs for so long that enabled her to hone her investigative journalism skills. 

In 2001, Luchi moved to ABS-CBN as vice president for news production and current affairs, and it was during her stint here that another life-changing incident would take place.

The second incident of divine intervention happened in July 2007, radically turning around the lives of Luchi and her three sons, Joseph, who was then 16; Joachim, then 14; and Johan, five years old. The day started like any other - Luchi leaving the house early, the kids going to school, and her husband Lito, an I.T. marketing manager, preparing to go to work after having eaten breakfast - but it wasn't... for that would be the last time that Lito would be able to eat on his own and look after himself.

It was Johan, a preschooler at the time, who discovered that his dad had had a stroke. Feeling that something was wrong when he found his parent's bathroom door locked and his dad sounding like he was choking and struggling for breath, but not knowing exactly what was happening, he called for help.  “Ate Lucy! Si Daddy natutulog!” Johan shouted to the helpers.

Luchi, who was then in a big meeting with ABS-CBN executives, would drop the first few calls she received on her mobile phone, thinking nothing of it. However, seeing the number of Johan’s yaya flashing on the screen, Luchi knew there was a more serious matter at hand. She took the call, and let out a shriek.

It took a while before they could jam the door open (with the help of carpenters who happened to be doing some repair work at the time), carry Lito out of the bathroom and bring him to the hospital.

But it would be too late.

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Lito had just suffered what Luchi describes as the worst kind of stroke anyone could possibly have, called the brain stem stroke.  “It’s in an area of the body called the pons,” Luchi explains, “which is what regulates your involuntary muscles; your digestive system, your breathing. It left him paralyzed from the neck down. [Lito] was in the ICU for three [or more] weeks and it was machines that would keep him alive." Moreover, her husband could not even control his eyelids, and for a while, he would sleep with his eyes open. 

In November 2008, Luchi resigned from her post in ABS-CBN after getting caught up in office politics, and a clause in her contract prevented her from working for competing networks.

“I really thought that that was the end of my career, because of course I couldn’t go back to GMA 7,” Luchi says. “Wala na talaga akong options. I started learning how to sell insurance, believe it or not. It was that bad. It’s a miracle to me because my non-compete clause, which was scheduled to end in November of 2009, was ended with a firm job offer from MVP (Manny V. Pangilinan) when in November 2009 he bought TV5."

“It was so providential, dahil wala man lang gap,” Luchi shares. “So the provision for the family has been so stable. And so it has really bolstered my faith.”

Today, Lito has recovered tremendously through therapy, but he is still very much paralyzed, about 90 percent. “The medical verdict was that it was going to be retrogressive, that he will just deteriorate,” explains Luchi. “Pero naaamaze din ako na hindi rapid ‘yung deterioration and he continues to be hopeful that he will get better. Hindi siya nadedepress, which to me is another miracle."

“It was one of those times that your faith is challenged tremendously. But you get the grace of God; it’s really amazing. And you just move on. So this is our new normal,” Luchi says.

Luchi, who had converted to Christianity even before the stroke, is such a strong believer in the power of grace and providence. “Nakakatuwa kasi all my earnings go to the upkeep of family and my husband,” Luchi says. “I think I was never meant to be extravagantly rich. But I am so amazed that there is always enough. If you ask me now if I can buy a car, I can’t. But I have all the cars I need. That’s it. To me that’s rich enough. We compensate somehow. Again you just really leave the rest to God because there’s really not much else you can do.”

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Luchi, who is now head of TV5’s News and Public Affairs, hosts the shows Anggulo, Journo, and the radio show Relasyon, which is aired on TV as well. “Ngayon lang ako regularly on cam,” she says. “Actually, it’s my first time to dabble in radio. You know, I didn’t expect to enjoy it so much.”

Luchi has also become a mentor for many budding talents in the broadcasting industry. “That’s why one of my most passionate commitments to the industry is to train,” she says. “I really committed myself to training reporters in investigative journalism and TV production. Ang trabaho kasi ng broadcast journalist, you have to learn more than just the skill of writing, you also have to learn the skill of TV production. I pride myself in having had the honor of training some of the biggest names in broadcasting.”

Because of her husband’s stroke, Luchi considers family to be her highest priority now more than ever. “I go to work, I strive to be excellent at what I do, and then I come home. There’s really no social life. But I don’t miss it. I really don’t,” she says. “As a matter of fact, I’m so thankful that I have a valid excuse for not having to attend cocktails and the press launches because my husband, being paralyzed, kawawa rin. He spends his whole day in the wheelchair, just waiting for us all to come home, especially me. Ang hirap din to bear the thought of just going out.”

Luchi carries herself with such confidence and optimism that resonates with an admirable resilience, but she is quick to dismiss the notion that she is a strong woman. “When people see me, they marvel at how I manage,” she shares. “People think I’m a strong woman, but I’m not a strong woman. It’s really just grace that carries me from day to day because when you have a husband in that state, he can go any time. And even I can go any time.”

When asked if her kids were affected in any way because of the stroke, Luchi believes it was Johan who was the most traumatized, as he was the one who found his father at the time of the stroke. “After that, it was very difficult for him to focus,” Luchi relates. “Plus nasanay kasi si Johan na laging kasama sa biyahe [si Lito] because we traveled a lot before the stroke.” The travels would be just one among the many tremendous lifestyle changes that the family would have to make.

While today, Luchi’s two older sons are as normal as any other teenager, she can’t tell if they were traumatized because of her husband falling ill. She recalls having the kids see a psychiatrist for a while, just to subject themselves to some assessment, but for the most part, she believes her children have grown up well, despite the incident.

“My eldest is a violinist. He is a gifted child,” Luchi shares proudly. “[Joseph] pursued it, and he got a scholarship in Illinois. It’s a four-year scholarship. Fully paid for. And this is despite the stroke. And he’s a Christian. He’s now even heading a music ministry in the church. Nakakatuwa nga eh."

Luchi’s son Joachim is now quite the artist. “My second kid is taking up fine arts in UST,” Luchi shares. That one was a little troubled. He started failing in class after the stroke. That was a struggle. But sa akin to me he seems okay now. He’s enjoying his time now in college.” 

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When it comes to parenting, Luchi freely communicates with her children. “Maybe it’s also a function of my being a journalist. I’m very, very open with them when it comes to relationships,” she shares.

While not a disciplinarian, Luchi makes it a point to firmly lay down the rules for her kids, as she herself was brought in a conservative household. “I grew up having been taught that there are rules,” Luchi says. “My parents were very strict, very traditional. Kasi it was the 1960s. Rules will always be there. I’m just telling you, these are my rules. I can’t force you to obey the rules 100 percent of the time. You have the option to break them, but it’s good for kids to know what the boundaries are.”

She is a also a firm believer in the importance of rules to shape one’s sense of morality. “I did a lot of breaking rules myself when I was growing up,” Luchi recalls. “But I think it was good that I had rules that I had to follow, because then I knew, ‘May ginagawa akong mali ah.’ I think it’s important for our kid to know that what he is doing is wrong. And it’s good for him to feel guilty about it. And it’s good for him to know that you have to face up to the consequences of that."

If there’s one thing that Luchi feels apprehensive about, it’s the lack of a male role model in the household, given her husband’s predicament. “In terms of the open communication, meron nun,” says Luchi. “Kaya lang, I will never have the male perspective. That’s where I really miss my husband. Especially because they’re at that age where they need a male perspective. And I need to be told the male perspective because my boys are boys.  I’m taking it from a female perspective lagi.”

Luchi goes on to share just one of the many day-to-day instances where she feels that her female perspective clashes with that of her sons: 

“I don’t like your haircut."

“Mom, it doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me. You look gusgusin.”

“Mom, it’s okay. All my classmates have the exact same haircut.”

“But that’s what you think. You know, the girls won’t like it. [To Lito] 'Di ba ‘To?”

Lito shrugs. 

“What do you mean?”

“It’s okay,” Lito struggles to say.

Because communication with her husband is constantly hampered by his condition, Luchi knows only too well how it has affected him. “My husband, he is the one most frustrated,” Luchi confesses. “If there’s one thing that my husband is frustrated about, it’s not even that he can’t walk. It’s because he can’t talk to the kids because he has a hard time talking. For him to say, ‘I would like to go to sleep now’ would take him about 30 seconds. And then he will repeat it pa. So it’s very hard for him to communicate."

For Lito, the reality of his sons growing up without him playing an active role in their lives has been quite heart-wrenching. “Minsan nagagalit siya kay Johan,” Luchi says. “I know he wants to [reprimand] Johan, pero  hirap na hirap siya. I carry the frustration of my husband, and I try to reassure him that everything will be fine. Because ‘yun ang worry niya. He cries over Johan, because nakikita niya Johan's growing up without a real male model.”

Because of her husband’s condition, Luchi has become all the more appreciative of the simpler things in life. “When you come to that point in your life, every day becomes such a precious blessing,” she enthuses. “When you see somebody like that and live with that, you will thank your body for being able to pee without difficulty, for being able to move your bowels, really, little things, [like] being able to eat. Everything becomes precious! Which is good. I think we should appreciate life more, our blessings more.  We take so many things in life for granted, which I hope I can teach the kids.”

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So how does Luchi de-stress? “Sleep,” she says. “I enjoy massages, but I don’t get them as often as I want. I like traveling, but I can’t do that. Because my job affords me a lot of traveling now, I appreciate that. I really do need to be away from the house. After a while, when you grow old, you sort of have already seen them all. Hinahahanap na talaga ng katawan mo ‘yung rest. You just love conversation [all the more].”

Despite the stroke, Luchi is grateful, because it has allowed her and her husband to become a greater presence in their children’s lives. She believes as well that it has somehow even blessed their family. “The stroke has forced both of us to be here at home with our kids,” says Luchi. “So if there’s one thing I can guarantee you I give to the kids, it’s my presence, which was something, in fact, that I couldn’t give as much of when Lito was still well. Both of us were so busy with our own thing.”

Looking back at her life, Luchi is thankful, even for the stuttering incident, since it has brought a positive transformation in her career shift. “It was a heartbreak that caused a major career shift, or otherwise I would just be into glamour. But God took me out of that. I had to learn the hard way. Look how far it has gotten me.”

In fact, Luchi shares with us how she met again the very ex-boyfriend, now a fellow Christian and churchmate. “Nakakatuwa kasi parang nag-full circle. So he was already also a Christian. Churchmates pa kami!” Luchi exclaims. “So funny. He called out my name and I did not recognize him. Sa dami ba naman ng nainterview ko! Sabi ko, ‘Sino nga ba ‘to?’ He looks so familiar. His voice is so familiar. Parang barkada ko ‘to. Hindi ko maplace talaga.” 

When she found out who the man was, Luchi was overwhelmed with disbelief and believed even more in the transformative power of her faith. “Oh my god!” Luchi cries. “The last time I saw him was 1986. When I saw him it was 2009. Grabe noh? 21 years. People change so much that you don’t recognize them. And then he [messaged me on Facebook] to apologize.”

Two acts of divine intervention have transformed and strengthened Luchi into the woman, mother, professional and Christian that she is today. While she may have seen and experienced a myriad of things that ordinary people would not normally encounter, she looks forward to what the rest of her life has to offer. 

She admits she is not a perfect mother, but she says, “I don’t think you really can go wrong with just sincerely loving your kids,” she says. “You will make a lot of mistakes, you really will. I don’t think there’s ever a degree called parenting, and each situation is different from another. I really believe this, and this is in the Bible, ‘Love covers a multitude of sins’. I think I live by that philosophy.”

Through love, and openly communicating it, her family has become an even stronger unit. “We tell each other I love you very freely and always sincerely,” Luchi says. “This guy (Johan) hugs me at night always to tell me, ‘You know, Mom, I love you.’ And it’s a great sign. Because you can only say 'I love you' when you feel loved. That much I know for sure. He won’t tell me he loves me if he didn’t feel loved himself.”

And  Luchi has told her kids this, “I’ll be the first to tell you: I am such a lousy mother. But the hell I’m trying because I love you. If all else fails, I love you.” And they know that.

 

Photography by Dakila Angeles

Ms. Luchi Cruz-Valdes's clothes by SM Department Store