No Yaya? No Problem: Real Parents Share their Stay-Sane Tips

Photo from mamaschellsays.blogspot.com

As much as we need her, Yaya has to take a leave now and then. Sometimes she may even have to go for good! What do you do when this happens?

If Yaya is gone for a while

“Line up fun things to do while Yaya is away. I find that the kids are easier to take care of when we are out. They aren’t cooped up at home, hence they sleep earlier at night after an active day. Schedule a play date or a trip to the park or even just the supermarket.” — Shelli Tomacruz, teacher; mom to Mantha, 5, and Javier, 1

“Sometimes I like it when Yaya goes on a day off because I get to bond with my son. I plan ahead. I finalize the exact day of departure and the day (and time) she’s coming back. If Yaya would be gone during the work week, I take a leave from work.” — Judy Malabanan, marketing manager; mom to Manu, 6

“Have Yaya endorse all her responsibilities to you or whomever will take over. Sometimes we take for granted what they do, and consequently, there are some important tasks that will be left undone. Ask her to make a schedule or a list of tasks she does daily, and then farm out her different tasks among your other helpers. That way, no one gets unduly burdened.” — Rissa Kawpeng, editor; mom to Charlize, 6, and Erin, 4

“When Yaya leaves for a vacation, my objective is to have a stress-free day. The day before she goes, I write down what I have to do and set alarms on my phone so I won’t have to rush. I prepare for the next day when the kids are in bed so I can focus. Time management is the key to my daily routine.” — Jackie Calalang Ledonio, nurse; mom to Rocky, 9, and Chelsea, 6

“I always make sure I have one temporary yaya or maid who will take over when one goes on vacation. The trick is to either train your kids to be as independent and low-maintenance as they can be, or to have an extra helper who can pinch-hit as a temporary yaya should the need arise.” — Rica Villegas, mom to Nino and Gaita, 6

“I almost always allow my yaya to go on days off, provided that she tells me ahead of time —- that’s a month in advance for a vacation, and a week for a few days off. When Yaya goes on a day off, I take over my child’s daily routine. It is during this time that I teach my son a new skill so he can contribute to household chores. I try to make it enjoyable and, at the same time, I remind him that when he is doing this, he is helping both his yaya and me.” — Peaches Tiu, events planner; mom to Farrel, 9

“This could be the best time to travel and go to places where the kids can have fun. Invite your loved ones (like your mom or siblings) to help you take good care of the kids.” — Melanie Macaraeg, skin specialist; mom to Troy, 6, and Enzo, 3

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If Yaya is gone for good

“I make sure that before Yaya leaves, she helps train her replacement. It’s also important to know the quirks of each child. And if you have twins like I do, the new yaya would need to really get to know each one because she would be in charge of both kids when one yaya is on a day off.” — Rissa Artadi, product development consultant; mom to Ale and Tea, 3

“When Yaya leaves all of a sudden, stay calm and focused. Take it as a chance to get to know your children. If you can’t get off work, get the support of your extended family to help take care of the kids. Don’t wait for the yaya to leave before you cultivate your support system. Let your kids get used to being with their grandparents, titos and titas, or other people you would ask for help.” — Rhea Bautista, ballet teacher; mom to David, 4, and Kaylee, 2

“Though it is difficult to be left alone with the kids, be patient to avoid further stress. You also need to think ahead. The tedious process of finding a replacement should begin as soon as possible. Plus, there’s nothing wrong with having someone fill in just in case Yaya does not return.” — Juan Gerardo Ledonio, legislative staff officer; dad to Juana, 3, and Dylan, 1

“Before anything else, the kids should already be taught some responsibilities like eating and dressing up on their own, so that when Yaya leaves, it won’t be so hard for them to adjust to doing things by themselves. Then you could just be there to supervise or help them out when needed. You should also explain the situation to them. They need to know why there is a sudden shift in responsibility and what they could do to help you.

“If it comes to a point when you have to take your child with you everywhere, get your child used to a stroller. It is the best and most convenient thing to have around when Yaya isn’t there.” — Regine Samson, interior designer; mom to Vito, 7, and Milo, 5

“I apply the ‘understudy’ principle by having the incumbent yaya and baby spend time at my sister-in-law’s house where there are many yayas. That way, my baby gets used to the other yayas around, so even if his own yaya leaves, someone else can help out in supervising the new yaya or my baby.” — Mimi Malvar, lawyer; mom to Migo, 2