Should I Allow Yaya’s Child to Live with Us?If yaya comes with her own baby, would you allow her to work for you? We share some points to think about to help make your decision.by Tisha C. Bautista .
We often contract a yaya for her services regarding the needs of our own children, but what do you do if yaya “comes with a baby” --- her own baby. This is a dilemma increasingly faced by many households. How should one approach this situation? How does one decide? Here are some aspects to consider…
1. Is this a deal-breaker?
That is to say, will not allowing yaya to bring her child to live with you prevent her from staying with you? Did this condition exist prior to your hiring her or did she get pregnant during her stay with you? Either way, you must assess the consequences should yaya leave your employ. In this case, weighing whatever inconveniences or complications the presence of her child may bring should be considered carefully.
2. Is this a permanent or temporary situation?
Having yaya’s child live with you may only be a “transition” situation where she is waiting to make proper arrangements. If this is the case, you must clarify the timeline she intends. Be very direct although compassionate with your questions. Miscommunication and hurt feelings will be the last things you want to encounter. On the other hand, if yaya assumes that this situation is a permanent one as long as she is in your employ. You must then use even more discernment regarding the matter…
You may want to ask:
a. How long is “long term”?
b. What are her expectations from you as her employer and vice versa?
c. How will the rest of your family and your household staff feel about the situation?
d. Are the costs to be incurred realistic both in your situation as well as in hers?
e. Her work will obviously be affected by her child’s presence. How will you both manage this?
3. Ask the other members of your family and your household about how they really feel about the situation.
Is yaya “really worth” all the changes that bringing in her baby will bring? Does yaya have anyone else to turn to and would that matter to you? Are you and the other members willing to take the responsibility of having a child in the house? How does your yaya’s ward feel? Will it affect the dynamics between the two --- especially if the child is still quite young and perceives yaya as her caregiver? How will she/he feel about “sharing” yaya with another child? Although seemingly so basic, these are questions that we may forget in our effort to help another individual. However, they can spell the difference between your home being a sanctuary for its members or a vortex of negativities and misunderstandings.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
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