Should Yaya Accompany your Child to School?

Working as a guidance counselor in my child’s school has led me to observe the behavior of yayas waiting within the school premises while their wards are in class. Often, they just group with other guardians while chitchatting and texting for hours, which leads me to wonder if they really need to be there. As a mom to a preschooler myself, I’m thinking what I would do if I were their employers. Would it be better if my child went to school on his own?  


School Rules
Most big and small schools do not allow caregivers to wait inside the classrooms or inside the campus. Caregivers are only allowed if they need to transact business at the office or if there is an official appointment with the teachers or administrators. If this is the case in your child’s school there’s less reason for making yaya stay in school the whole day.


Attachment
If your child tends to be clingy and wants to be with yaya all her waking time, slowly ease off the attachment by letting your child be in school by herself. It would only cause more anxiety and create more power struggle if yaya is allowed to sit in class. Seek the teacher’s help in intervening for your child and trust that your child will be cared for in school, even if yaya isn’t there.


Independence Skills
Next to the home, school is the best place to train children to be independent. Often though, when children know that yaya is around, it’s difficult to reinforce this training. When they can rely on someone to do things for them like bring their bags, tie their shoelaces, or, in some occasions, even feed them, they do exactly that. This means missing out on chances at being able to do things on their own and feel confident in helping themselves with the presence of yaya.

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Social Skills
Along with independence skills, kids miss out on the opportunity to socialize, too. Naturally, thief they were left to their own devices thay get the chance to deal, bargain, cooperate or even assert themselves with other children. Being on their own encourages them to tap their inner resources and build confidence to develop social skills and self-empowerment.  


Security Reasons
It is understandable that with the crime rate in the country today, most parents fear for their children’s safety, thus they send an adult to go with them to school. However, realize that you cannot keep your child sheltered at all times. thebe in touch with the school administrators and learn about their policies and security measures for your peace of mind.  

However, there are instances when having an adult go with your child in school is called for, such as :


Your child has special needs
Your child has medical, physical or even developmental needs that require help from an adult while in school. If this is the case, yaya’s tasks needs to communicated and explained in detail to her to ensure that she knows her purpose for being with your child in school.


You live far from school
For practical reasons, children who live far away from school are accompanied by yayas to school.
Other than these, should you feel that it is absolutely necessary that your Yaya be in school with your child at all times, consider the following:

1.    Clarify her role and set rules on security, emergencies and interacting with others.  E.g.  Use of mobile phone, to do list, dealing with other yayas, gossiping, divulging information about your family and the child, etc.

2.    Give her a special project. E.g.  Cross stitch, crossword puzzles, self-help books, etc.

3.    Give some tasks that she can do.  E.g. grocery list, menu the week, etc.

4.    If capable, ask her to do small errands within the vicinity of the school.  E.g. pay bills, buy something, have something fixed, etc.

5.    Let yaya go to class herself. Some schools, barangays or parishes offer vocational classes for free. If you enroll her to these, she can make good use of her free time. E.g. baking, sewing, etc.

In the end, allowing your children to be on their own will make them more skillful, confident and ready for life. Yayas are there to “assist”, but should not do everything for them. What we can do as parents is to prepare them to learn life lessons and pray for their well being.  


Photo by xadrian via flickr creative commons