Taking Care of Mom: Coping Without a yaya

Here are the top 10 things to consider in the eventuality of such a predicament.

1. Make the call-out now.
First things first. Try to get a new yaya ASAP! Ask as many people as you can to help in your search. Finding new help may take anywhere between a few days to a few weeks, so it’s best to start the clock as soon as you can.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
While waiting for new yayas to arrive, expect the days to be rough. There will be times when you’ll think you might end up in the loony bin but you’ll survive. To lighten the load, think of people who might be able to help you during this time of need such as lolos and lolas with whom you can leave the children while you work or do errands. One of the great things about Filipino culture is our closely-knit families. We have a tremendous support system. Even if you run your own household, you sometimes still find yourself running to your parents in times of need. The best part is that parents are often happy and willing to help out, especially when their grandchildren are involved.

3. Prioritize.
There will be some things that you will be unable to take care of immediately, especially if your yaya was also your all-around househelp, which is a common arrangement. The house might get a bit dusty or the laundry will go unwashed for a couple of days. The most important task is to take care of the kids. Feeding them, making sure they’re clean, that they have fresh pajamas for the night, etc. Of course, the kitchen has to be clean, too, or else you might invite unwanted six-legged visitors. Make a short list of what absolutely needs to be done on a daily basis and worry about the rest once you’ve settled into a good rhythm.

4. Delegate tasks.
Remember that there are two of you in this partnership. Even Supermom might have a difficult time coping with this difficult time. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to take charge of certain tasks, especially with several kids to take care of. Maybe Dad can do the grocery this time since Mom still has to cook lunch for the family. Or Dad can bathe Ate while mom cleans up in the kitchen. Dividing tasks between yourself and your partner will make them easier to manage.

5. Plan your meals.
It might be wise to cook slightly bigger batches while being short on help. Instead of cooking every mealtime, you can conserve your efforts by reheating leftovers. Or if you find yourself simply too exhausted to cook, have food delivered or treat the family by eating out.

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6. Clean house.
The house will get dirty at some point. If you can ask your parents or in-laws to let their help come over to clean your house once a week, that’s great. If not, there are professional cleaners who offer their services on a daily basis.

7. Laundry duty.
If you are fortunate enough to have a washing machine, then laundry will be more manageable. Otherwise, there are numerous laundromats in every neighborhood ready to take care of this for you. Just make sure to schedule this properly especially if school (or office) uniforms are involved.

8. Don’t forget to take care of yourself.
In the midst of taking care of everyone plus the house, don’t forget yourself. The worst thing that can happen is for you to get sick.

9. Don’t forget your husband.
Romance might have to take a back seat during this stressful time. You might not have the time nor the energy to have some quality time with your husband but do show him how much you appreciate all his help. A few kind words of gratitude or even a simple backrub can re-energize poor, tired dad.

10. Don’t forget to have fun.
The best thing about this whole experience is that you get to bond with your kids more. You won’t realize just how much you’ve delegated to your maids until you find yourself yaya-less. Simple everyday tasks of dressing, bathing, feeding your kids are all bonding moments that can be filled with laughter and cheer. Instead of stressing yourself with being yaya-less, try to enjoy every moment with your family and treat this as one big bonding experience. You might even find yourself wanting to bathe or feed the kids yourself, if you didn’t already, even once you find new househelp.


Photography by Chino Acosta