Ask a mom what she worries about and she can probably enumerate a litany of items longer than your daily to do list.
Whether our child is in the womb or well into adulthood, our worry spectrum spans every aspect of our child’s life: health, career, finances and relationships. It seems the moment a woman gives birth, she imbibes not just the infinite capacity to love, but also the inevitable tendency to fear whatever the world holds for her child at every turn.
And who can blame us? We can’t help but worry about our children because we always want what’s best for them.
But if we truly want the best for our children, we have to draw the line between constructive and destructive worrying.
Constructive worrying is good because it helps us take proactive steps to keep our child safe.
But destructive worrying can debilitate us. It can cause us to overreact over small matters, that our prevention becomes more of a restriction than protection.
Needless worrying can also cause us to attract the circumstances that will make our worst fears a reality.
If you’ve ever told your child “Don’t run because you will fall” and he did fall, you’ve just made a self -fulfilling prophecy.
How then do we bring our worrying to a constructive level?
Let’s look at the ten common things moms worry about and what we can do about them:
1. Will I be a good mom?
Why it’s a valid concern: Parenting is not just a full time job, it is a lifetime responsibility that requires us to love and raise a happy, healthy and morally upright human being who can contribute to society. For new moms, parenting feels like the toughest job in the world that you can never really prepare for. Sometimes you can’t help but doubt your ability to care for another person when you’re still learning to take care of yourself.
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What you can do about it: First, accept the fact that you can never be a perfect mom, and that’s okay. As early as now, give yourself permission to make mistakes and space to grow as a parent. Second, know that you already have the most important thing you need to become a good mom, and that’s the love you have for your child. With your thoughts, words and actions guided by love, you can only do right. Third, seek support and learn what you can by attending workshops for moms, reading books for new parents or connecting with other moms via blogs and social media. Manila Workshops, which is also owned by a new mom, holds seminars for new and experienced mothers alike about pregnancy and parenting.