The 8 Rules of Social Networking for Parents

A study done by Microsoft two years ago showed that almost 40% of kids aged 5-12 years old have a social networking account, most of whom have their parents as their friends on social networking sites. Why, some parents even create Facebook accounts for their unborn child! Blogging, too, has become a channel for self-expression, and alongside this, posting information and photos of family members may be inevitable. However, for all their good intentions, some parents may not realize that they could be compromising their family’s safety with their online presence -- err, over-presence. How does one prevent oversharing? Here are eight networking etiquette rules parents can follow:  

1. Don’t divulge private information.
“My daughter got her first period today! She’s now a lady!” Don’t reveal private information about your children, especially if these are bound to be embarrassing for them. You don’t want them to post about your private life either, right? So self-restraint, especially online, is of utmost importance.
 
When posting, don’t share all the specific details. Parents tend to occasionally forget this - they post their current locations or their future plans in great detail: “I will bring my kids to Chilis in Greenbelt 5 for dinner at 7 tonight.” This tells people exactly where you’ll be. It’s better to post such a status after the fact. Also, avoid using the location feature of network sites that automatically shares where you currently are.

Ensure that your settings are set to private, especially when you post about your children, and choose carefully who to allow access to your photos.
   
2. Avoid posting too much information.
“My son got his report card and here are his grades: 99 in Math, 95 in English, 97 in Science…” - okay, we know you’re very proud of him but does everyone need to know all your son’s grades each quarter? If you want to gush, ask permission first from your child before gushing, and if your child is anything like my daughter, you will likely get this reaction: “Moooommm!”, which will prompt me to quickly delete my post and apologize.  I guess we sometimes can’t help ourselves.

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3. Don’t post in anger.  
You may see your child’s posts on his wall lambasting his Math teacher over a horrible grade he received and you feel tempted to lash out at your son by posting a comment to reprimand him for his behavior. DON’T. Breathe deeply and hold off from posting. Instead, reprimand him face-to-face privately. Scolding our children for the world to see will make our children react with vehemence and we can’t blame them. Discuss his improper behavior online in the real world.  

4. Respect your children’s privacy.  
Don’t snoop! In the past, parents were tempted to peek at their child’s diary. Today, they are tempted to hack their child’s Facebook account. But learn to be contented with seeing what your child allows you to see. You need to respect their privacy both online and offline. If you have reason to be suspicious about your child’s online activity, confront him directly in person. Never risk your child’s trust by being nosy. If you do see your child’s posts (perhaps an “accidental” peek at the monitor while passing by while he types?), hold off on any judgment and don’t use his online activity against him. If you need to discuss anything in particular, you can ask him leading questions that can bring him to share his private posts. But do this only when truly necessary. You can also show genuine interest in his online friends and get him to talk about them. It will help you learn more about his online life, not to mention that it’s a better option than spying.

5. Don’t invade your children’s life online.
Avoid posting comments on your child’s wall. Keep to the bare minimum posting replies to your child’s Facebook status, as your children will not be happy with your meddling in their online lives. With this in mind, don’t ask to be friends with their friends. If one of your daughter’s friends sends you a request, ask her if she’s fine with you accepting it. After all, you are the parent, and not someone who is part of your child’s social circle.  

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6. Tag and share with care.
You go on vacation and have lots of photos to share with your friends online. You tag several of the photos and they appear on your child’s wall. Your child protests this. Unfortunately, he does have the right to complain. Always ask your child for his permission before posting photos and cluttering his wall. He may or may not want you to do so and it’s always good to ask and check in advance.
 
We occasionally see other people’s posts that we want to share with our friends. But remember that your children will be able to see these posts too. Pause before you share that funny joke and think if its humor is appropriate for your child.

7. Be grammar-conscious.
It’s always a good habit to write with correct grammar anywhere - commenting on social networking sites included. Review what you’ve written before hitting the “share” button.

8. Be a role model.
You are what you write! So be careful when writing online. You don’t want to end up posting a scandalous rumor or a comment that demeans other people, and you certainly don’t want your child to see photos of your drunken sprees in last night’s party. Be a good example to your kids. Your children can see what you post and share, and how you relate with your online friends. Whenever you venture into the online social sites, remember that you are the parent, and you should always mind your manners on the web.

 

Photo by pr_ip from flickr creative commons