This Mom Shares Why We Should Never Assume What A Woman Can And Cannot Handle

It has been ingrained in our culture that moms are confined to do the parenting, while the dads are assigned to be the provider for the family. 

It’s 2022, and moms and dads are saying that this notion has to be revisited: moms can contribute financially, and it doesn’t make a dad less if he helps in the housework and be the hands-on parent to the kids.

As we conclude the National Women’s Month, one of the first steps to break the bias is to rid of assumptions and treat women with respect.

A first-time mom breaking the bias

Arra Solis, a work-from-home businesswoman and founder of the Facebook group First Time Moms PH, shared that in her experience working in the corporate world, moms are not usually being given leadership roles because they assume that they might not be able to handle it.

"It seems automatic in the corporate setting to just put you aside or simply not give you any project or any leadership role kasi they've assumed na, "Ay, 'wag muna si Arra kasi kakapanganak lang niya, or she's breastfeeding," shared Arra during the Breaking the Bias Online and Beyond virtual event by Google Philippines on March 30, 2022.

She got back to work when her daughter was six months old, and she really felt like her colleagues didn’t think that she can perform like before. While she acknowledges the fact that maybe they mean well, she realized that she could’ve been more vocal.

"Nandun pa rin yung feeling na parang they cannot rely on me. It was frustrating because for me na sobrang workaholic, nakaka-degrade siya as a woman," she recounts.

"One thing I was able to do in order to rise above it is to simply acknowledge the fact that they mean well and its automatic for them to think that way because they don't know how to ask first."

The importance of asking a woman first

Nikki Gil-Albert, who hosted the event and is also a mom, said that assumptions on women imply that they are incapable, "In order to break the bias, we have to ask her first."

"We emphasize the value of asking women first is a sign of respect and acknowledgment, and to stop assumptions and preconceived notions,” says Bernadette Nacario, Country Director of Google Philippines. 

Arra reminds moms like her to speak up and ask for help. "One thing you have to do is to speak up, people would listen if you speak up. I need to voice out that, "Hey, I want that role." 

Nacario adds, “The simple habit of asking, rather than assuming, can lead more women to realizing their full potential and succeeding in what they choose to do.” 

Changing the narrative for her daughter

Arra is now thriving as a momfluencer, and has a senior role in a work-from-home company.

"I hope that by the time my daughter is old enough to know what she wants to do, she would have the courage to do it, regardless of how different she is or just simply her being a woman," Arra concludes.

Watch our videos about #BreakTheBias here and here.

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