10 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples towards a Happier Relationship

We have ushered in a new year once again. Most people consider it a tradition to come up with their personal resolutions, and many use this as an opportunity to look back to the “year that was” and reflect on the changes they wish to achieve for the coming year. Whether it’s about losing weight, striving to excel in the workplace, quality time with the kids, to save up more or quit smoking or drinking... resolutions are all about desiring a better life.

The New Year is always the symbol of new beginnings and of striving to be a better you. Richard Carlson, author of the bestselling book, "The Don't Sweat Affirmations" quotes that, "Yesterday is just a vanishing thought. Today I have the opportunity to start fresh and create miracles". Indeed, it's never too late for a fresh start.

If there is one area in our lives which often deserve a fresh start, it is the area of relationships - this is true for most married couples. The New Year is one of the perfect moments to look into your relationship as a couple and consider areas which you feel you need to work on, what keeps you connected and aim towards developing your love and friendship even more.

Aside from your own individual resolutions, make one as a couple. Here are some suggested resolutions as inspired by my own personal learning experiences, as well as shared insights from my married friends:

1. Have a regular one-on-one dialogue with your partner.  
Schedule a regular time to sit down with your husband or wife to "talk". It could even be a monthly thing for you and your spouse. Choose the proper venue and right time to do this. Consider an atmosphere with as little distractions as possible. During your dialogue, be sure to listen, listen, and listen. Be conscious of your words and emotions. Never ever pre-judge or assume; instead, give each other "talking time" to express and be open of each others' thoughts and feelings.   

2. Keep the romance alive in your relationship.  
Increase your level of physical intimacy and sexual relationship. Plan your send honeymoon by taking an out-of-town trip or going out on a romantic date. Spend a quiet, intimate moment at home without the kids by watching romantic movies; set up a candlelight dinner, or play your favorite love songs. Write each other love letters or surprise each other with simple gifts. Resolve to say "I love you" to each other more often.
   
3. Improve your family relations.
Discuss ways to resolve family conflicts together most especially with your respective in-laws. Reach out and extend yourselves to each other's families. Be a loving support to each other in times of family conflict.    

4. Work out your personal differences.
Rather than focusing on your partner's faults and weaknesses or unresolved issues, work on how to lovingly relate with one another. Be conscious of each other’s emotional needs such as constant affirmation, trust, understanding and acceptance. Be your partner’s best friend by helping each other rise above your respective mistakes and weaknesses.  

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5. Set realistic expectations from your partner.
Get to know your husband or wife more and more each day. Teach yourself to be more understanding of their shortcomings. There are things which you may find difficult to change in your partner but you can strive to change your attitude and outlook towards your wife or your husband.   

6. Support one another’s decisions and plans.
Share your spouse's success and encourage them to excel even more. Rather than be threatened by your partner's achievements, be their source of motivation and inspiration. Do not compete with each other's career or even roles in the family. For us women, we should strive to always support our husband's decision-making and stand by him no matter what.  

7. Make time for quality family time.
Family time is often compromised these days, but no matter how tough it is to find time to spend with your family, work towards making each moment worthwhile. Focus more on quality time than quantity time. Make the most of every opportunity that comes your way to be with your loved ones: it may be at dinner time, while driving your kids to school, tucking your kids to bed, sharing how your day was with your husband or wife a few minutes before bedtime, and many others. You don't need to schedule a full day to spend quality time with your family; even short moments spent well count.  

8. Respect each other's “Me-Time”.
Give each other individual time to relax and enjoy. Most of us also need our own "me-time". Support your partner's "me-time" without making him or her feel guilty of not involving you or neglecting you. "Me-time" could be a time to read a book, window shopping, having coffee with college or high school friends, going to the gym or playing basketball, or even a trip to the salon. Our personal, individual time is healthy for our well-being.

9. Plan out your finances together.  
Save up for a possible investment. Resolve to settle a major loan or debt. Open a savings account for your children's educational fund. Discuss your monthly household budget and talk about ways to cut down on unnecessary expenses. Discuss how you can simplify your lifestyle even more. Set aside and start a savings plan for a family pleasure trip.    

10. Take care of your health and physical well-being.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle through regular exercise, working out together, preparing healthy food for the family. Engage in healthy, physical activities together or as a family such as biking, walking, mountain climbing, sports activities. Looking and feeling good will help you both gain confidence and maintain a positive outlook in life.

Of course, in order to make a successful resolution as a couple, make sure that you both agree on the areas in your relationship which you think need to be improved the most. Keep in mind that your resolutions should be realistic and relevant to the current state of your married life. Let go of the past and focus on resolving the present issues at hand. Choose no more than three resolutions so as not to get frustrated or too overwhelmed. Be patient and supportive of one another - the success of your resolutions will depend greatly on how you will be committing to work together as a couple. And remember: marriage is all about a lifetime of fresh starts and new beginnings.

Photo from flickr creative commons