10 Things you should not Say to your Pregnant Wife

Dealing with a spouse when her hormones are twitchy during certain times of the month can be quite a pickle. Multiply that by a factor of ten when she’s got a bun in the oven. Here’s a handy guide for what not to say to your pregnant significant other so as not to get you summarily executed.

1. “Is it mine?”
Only local politicians, reality TV stars and individuals with a fondness for sniffing glue have the gall to ask this (the gall, not the right). The reason why a woman is telling you she is pregnant with your child is because it is YOUR child she is pregnant with. If you don’t believe her, what are you two doing together?

2. “Wow, you’re so takaw (and variants of this)!”
Of course, she has an appetite. Not only is she eating for (at least) two, but she is also eating to literally have the strength to keep up with the extra load – it’s an extra 300 calories per day per baby in there. If she’s physically active, then she’ll need even more fuel. Unless you want to find out if she still remembers her old Muay Thay lessons the hard way, you’ll keep such comments to yourself.  

3. "Stop being so picky about food!"
There is a reason why our culture has the concept of paglilihi. You do not come between a pregnant woman and her chocolate covered sardine pasta – if that’s what she wants, let her have it. Weird cravings and morning sickness go hand-in-hand with each other and unless you want her to re-enact The Exorcist all over your clothes, don’t force her to eat things she doesn’t want. Neither should you taunt her with your favorite foods that she finds unpalatable, lest you get a re-enactment of The Exorcist II: The Death of the Dumb Husband Who is Fond of Durian.