10 Tips to Make an Inter-racial Marriage Work

Thinking of marrying or moving in with a man of a different race, background or even religion? The truth is, it’s not much different than any marriage, where the rules of unconditional love + hard work apply.

There will be challenges, yes—plenty of them. But the beauty of a mixed marriage is the diversity that both parties bring, and the multi-cultural world you get to create within your own home. Just imagine how well-rounded culturally your children could be!

In random order, here are ten tips for maintaining a mixed marriage, and being happy in it.
1. Know yourself and be yourself. It’s okay to be who you are. In fact, it’s essential. Marrying someone else should not change you, the person they fell in love with in the first place. It should give you the opportunity to discover even more about yourself and your own potential, enhanced by your partner’s.
 
2. Don’t try to change the other person. Love is about acceptance, tolerance, and forgiveness. If anything, learn to change your own bad habits and your own negative reactions.
 
3. Communicate, communicate, communicate. There will be misunderstandings, for some, most of the time. Realize that a lot can get lost in translation, and you will need to learn to explain things through.
 
4. Learn about his background so you can understand him as a person. Talk about cultural differences so that you know each others’ expectations when it comes to holidays, religious celebrations, etc.
 
5. Be realistic. No, good old love won’t solve all the problems you are going to encounter. But talking honestly and openly about them, working on solutions, and making greater efforts to love despite them will strengthen your bond.
 
6. Ignore the general public’s musings. A lot of what you feel is influenced by your family and community’s acceptance of your lifestyle. If their reaction is negative, don’t let that sway you. Know what you want for yourself and for your own new family, and then be willing to do the work to make it happen.

Click here to see more tips on how to make an interracial marriage work.

[previous|page|next]

Read on to see more tips on how to make an interracial marriage work.

 
7. Enjoy being different. Injecting diversity into a relationship is like cooking a meal with various spices. You have to know how much to put and when, the consistency and how it conforms to your taste—and sometimes, be willing to try new flavors!
 
8. Achieve greater openness. If you can be willing to let go of old mindsets, and embrace new things and ideas, you are on your way to a better relationship.
 
9. See the positive side in everything. It’s human nature to complain about the negative, or focus on everything that may be wrong with your relationship. Try instead to think about what you enjoy and love about the other person, the joys and positive attributes he brings to your life, and why you chose him in the first place. Positive thoughts produce positive effects.
 
10. Enjoy the journey. Love is a many splendored thing, yes. It can also be a many complicated thing, or a many tiring thing. And, as with some journeys, it may have accidents, setbacks, and weather disruptions. Every day will be a constant learning experience, but every day will also be a new beginning. Cherish it.
 
 

About the author: Nyx Martinez, a Filipina artist who moved to India at age 5, grew up in Thailand, and pursued her career in East Africa, is married to Johannes, an East-German kitesurf instructor. They had their first child last Christmas.

Photo from sxc.hu